How many children? How do you know when to stop?

[Miggins]

I have two children, a boy and a girl. I never thought I'd want more than 2 children, particularly having 'one of each', however, I keep feeling that I'd like one more. I'm wondering if this is more a case of coming to terms with the fact that the child bearing phase of my life is over.
Is it common to feel like this or do you reach the point when you know you've definitely finished your family?

tales of folly m'dear.

oh never mind.
i ahve come to terms with it. youve had a fantastic time. i will one day

I have always wondered this, i have a dd (3.6) and a ds (11mth).

I am not sure if i am "done" with my family, sometimes i think yes would love one more, and others i think no f**kin way! usually this is after having a hard day with dc.

One thing that did REALLY annoy me, was once i had ds, everyone said oh how complete, no more for you now with having one of each?! makes me want another just to spite them all pmsl.

too many too mention, we nearly got ejected from the family camping field for falling over a gazebo, myself and my dp both went in seperate directions at the same time and pulled the whole thing down. It was the jagermeister I tell you, bloody stuff

WHne your fanjo falls out from overuse, then you've had enough.

well, yes. that is one of the things id think if my fanjo fell out.

lol at jeigermeister. meeeeemoriiiieeeees.....

I even found a split screen camper with jeigermiester advertised on the side

jusitified my drunken antics in a second, really must stop being such a vw saddo

I have 3 boys and had always wanted 3 children. But now I keep thinking about a 4th. However, time and money are not on my side, and dh would definitely not be keen, so I guess 3 is the limit here.
There is a woman in my town who has 14 kids. Her eldest daughters have children who go to school with her youngest children. In fact, thinking about it, some of her daughters have children who are older than her youngest children. And she would apparently like more but her husband has (finally) put his foot down and refused to co-operate! She really is an example of someone who doesn't know when to stop.
The whole family look like they could do with a good wash and some hot meals rather than the Monster Munch they chomp on when they trail past my house on the way to school.

Miggins - how old are your DC's? I start getting broody when the youngest reaches the age of 2...

We planned 2, but I started yearning for a 3rd, so left it two years and the yearning got stronger...No 3 is 5 months old now.

trouble is that when i see newborns I get all broody again and I'm 43!!

Have you discused with your DP?

Can't afford to feed 3, much less house them.

So that pretty much ended it for us!

I said after ds2 was born that I didnt really want another and dh agreed. I had always wanted a girl but resigned myself to the fact I would never have one. It had nothing to do with bad pregnancies/births, mine were both great, it was just I felt my family was complete.

That was until I started getting broody last year. My ds2 was 2.5 and growing fast, everyone I knew seemed to be pregnant and all of a sudden I knew I wanted another. At first I kept it to myself because dh had been adament that he didnt want another but then out of the blue he changed his mind

In May my long awaited little girl arrived and I couldnt be happier but no matter how much I miss being pregnant (I feel lost without my bump sometimes lol)I know i definately dont want another. Now and again I think how nice it would be to give dd a sister later on but as soon as I think it i make myself recall the painful labour i went through. By far this last one was the worst, I still did it without any pain relief but it was so bloody painful I never want to go through it again.

Having three is hard. Ds1 is now 10 so he is at that lippy stage, ds2 is almost 4 and a little whirlwind of energy and you can bet that just as i sit down to feed dd the boys will either start bickering or they will want me for something I cant remember the last time I had 5minutes to myself lol. I have friends and relatives with 5 and 6 kids and i have nothing but admiration for them, i find 3 a challenge sometimes, i think any more and i would go mad

i have it on good authority (from people who have more) that the biggest jump in difficulty is going from 2 to 3. after that, they say, its much of a muchness. in terms of difficulty i suppose.

am i tempted to test the theory?
hmmmmmm. not yet.

oh ok.
so its utterly dependent on the individuals involved? cor, thats a surprise!

i found 1 to2 easy as pie, 2 to 3 a real struggle.

evryones differant really........i have 2 dc and i would rather go to prison than go through four years of being at home with another child.............but whatever floats ur boat really

I found 1 was horrendous, 2 was great apart from DD1 being ill a lot and also getting pg rather quickly with dd2. 3 is great BUT I am finding DD2 a lot more demanding than both DS and DD1 put together. Also DD1 is a minx and into everything. Although all of mine are close in age so that ,might be a contributing factor. We are undecided about whether to go for 4 or not!!

I think whether you find it easy or hard going from 2 to 3, or 3 to 4, depends so much on the age of the children and their personalities. I found that going from 1 to 2 was hard because there was only 17 months between dd1 and dd2 - nothing to do with their personalities, just their ages and needs at that time. Going from 2 to 3 was incredibly easy - dd1 and 2 were 7 and 8 at that point - old enough to be self-sufficient from a practical pov, young enough to be interested in helping out with ds, old enough to understand that his needs meant I had less time for them.

It's early days going from 3 to 4, but indications are good so far - ds1 is two next week and loves his little brother - but is used to "sharing" me and dh with the dds anyway, so it's not like he has lost "top position", so to speak. Dd1 and 2 are again both besotted, interested and showing no signs of jealousy. Ds2 is just slotting in with family life.

I have to say that I have always found ages 3 to 5/6 the hardest ages to deal with, in terms of parental exhaustion - and I've managed to avoid being in the position of having a child of that age and a newborn to deal with - maybe that's why I've found it easy! Plus, as I said about personalities, mine are all pretty easygoing so that does help.

Well I have a boy, nearly 14, from marriage and a daughter (26 months) with my partner. Ds and dd adore each other but with a 12 year age gap it's not quite the same as watching a couple of toddlers playing/fighting. I don't want dd to grow up essentially as an only child and desperately want to have another! Now that I'm 40 I'm regretting not having the chance to have more children before now. I'd be happy to have at least two more but know that realistically at my age that I'm going to be lucky if I get one more.

You'll know that you've finsihed your family once you've not got the chance anymore! So don't put things off

i have 4. 2 of 'each' Still broody!!

Hi , always said I'd only have 2 children, I'm one of 2 and just thought that was the norm. dd was born when I was 18 and I told dh if we've got one then we have to have 2 from the start of that pregnancy. ds was born when I was 21 and that was a huge shock because I always thourght that I'd only ever have girls (come from and all girl family!)

So when I had one of each I was sure that was it tried to get dh to have the snip but he wasn't sure. Went on to qualify a a nurse and was sure I'd be career motivated from then on. However 2 years after qualifying(at the age of 27) the clock seemed to start ticking regardless of the fact I'd already had my family and we started all over again!

He is the best decision we ever made for our family! Ds2 is one next week and he's completed everything. It's been fab to have him as older, experienced parents we savour every moment. The other two kids have loved him from day one and they all learn from each other. It's been nice to experience maternity leave because we were poor with the other babys. Dh had the snip in April and I was sure that was what was best for us all. But now I'd love just one more but not with some huge ache just a quiet won't mind if the vasectomy wasn't successful But I know that really our family is done but number three just iced the cake!

Well i got married at 18 and thought that would be it forever and ever me,hubby and 2 children. Nope, that lasted 10 years!!! So i met my husband now which also took me by surprise especially that men were off my agenda forever and ever. So now I am truly happily married and have my 2dd from 1st marriage and a ds 17wk and yes we would love another. Not sure if i want to stop after that, its quite an expensive hobby lol not to mention hard work but don't you think children are just great!!!! My life would be NOTHING without them. Its how you feel that you got to go with not what the norm is because everyone has their own norm.

dd 2.5
ds almost 5 months I definately want at least one more, but can't bear the thought of being preg until first two are at school so will be waiting until I am 36 or 37. I will be totally and utterly gutted if I leave it too late. I can't imagine ever not being broody, but then having read some of the posts about having a third one maybe I will not be one day. I like the comment about not letting them outnumber you, I will keep that one in mind when I start to get broody.

i have 3,girl,boy,boy.want 1 more but cant imagine not wanting another and another!

ive got 2 of each and i would say you definately know when you've finished having children! if you've still got that niggling feeling then you havn't finished!

I have two DS's aged 7 & 4, and they test my sanity! I think a third child would tip me over the edge, and seen as I'm also single, I think I can definitely say that I'm stopping with the two!