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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Has anyone had a labour that wasn't horrific?

179 replies

Leleophants · 03/05/2019 18:42

There are so many horror stories and I feel like some women like to scare others who've yet to go through it. You only hear about how bad it is.

Anyone think it WASN'T as bad as they thought? Or found really good ways to cope?

Helpful advice is better than fear!

OP posts:
MaMisled · 04/05/2019 02:39

First WAS horrific, second was absolutely beautiful! Honestly, like a funfair ride, I'd have happily queued up to do it again, straight afterwards! Wonderful epidural wore off in time for me to feel and push at the right time. Low lights, soft music and fantastic midwife.

curtaintrail · 04/05/2019 03:09

I was overdue by 13 days. Was induced. Labour took ages to kick in but when it did, it was powerful and quick.

I'd done antenatal labour, refused to lie on my back, danced through alot of the pain and hired a doula. Yeah, it was painful but not as bad as I'd expected. Definitely manageable without pain relief for me.

I loved it. I remember when dd was born, my first thought was 'wow, I could do that again'.

My first dd had been an elective caesarian. That was a great experience too except the surgery lights were a bit too bright. No issues breastfeeding; out of hospital after 2 days; no issues with healing.

I guess I may have been just lucky as I've heard some horror stories too from friends. Loved the births, didn't really like being pregnant.

JaneEyreAgain · 04/05/2019 05:52

@Lelophants Have a look at this website. www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com

Sux2buthen · 04/05/2019 06:17

I've had two traumatic births and one that went to plan (recovery was shite but the birth was smooth),
I don't tell my stories to scare women, I only tell when asked. Also the truth of birth isn't explained well at all to any first time mother and I was shocked at the reality of it. And the recovery.
Birth can be smooth but in s lit if cases it can be genuinely scary

Wallywobbles · 04/05/2019 06:50

My 2nd was fab. Brilliant epidural. 3 pushes, 1 baby. No stitches or anything. Less painful than a leg wax.

Original poster
Leleophants · 04/05/2019 07:34

I'm talking about the animated videos (don't try and get birth advice from anything on YouTube!) and stories were people make it an entire story and go on and on saying "ooh just you wait!" When that causes women to have extreme anxiety and makes it worse, I don't see it as acceptable. Labour is something many women go through and we shouldn't be trying to terrify each other just because "we're done" and it's someone esle's turn. We should be supporting each other.

If it was a bad experience, how can you help another woman? And dont use it to gleefully vent at a pregnant woman.

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 04/05/2019 07:41

Me!

Monday
In labour all day at home but walked the dog, went to Tesco, went to PILs for tea.....

Tuesday
Went to hospital about 1am contractions every few minutes, told me I wasn't in established labour, option to stay on the ward on my own and ring DH when it was time to come back or I could go home with him - I went home about 4am

Mooched about in the house all day, still having contractions

Wednesday
1am show, contractions got painful so we headed back to hospital, morphine on arrival

6am ish they broke my waters, continued on gas and air, DS born at 7am

No interventions, no tears

On ward by 9am, home mid afternoon

Absolute doddle - like shelling peas really 🤣

Sipperskipper · 04/05/2019 07:43

Mine ended in emergency section, and was a bit tricky, however, I was so well looked after and informed by the staff it made it all so much easier. I also did hypnobirthing whilst pregnant, which really helped me to stay calm throughout the whole thing.

I was completely back to normal within 4 weeks or so, and 2 years on have no complications etc.

Original poster
Leleophants · 04/05/2019 07:45

I agree @Sux2buthen it's not very well explained and I don't think we are prepared. It's how it's done.

OP posts:
snowone · 04/05/2019 07:47

Me!

I had a lovely labour with DD1, laboured mainly at home, managed to go in the birthing pool at the Midwife led centre etc etc.

DD2 wasn't so lovely, she was 2 weeks late and back to back so I had to have ventouse assisted delivery - however is still wasn't that bad.

Try not to think about it and just go with the flow - babies have their own plans, which generally ruin yours!!

Good luck Smile

wichitalinemanswoman · 04/05/2019 07:52

I had three lovely labours. Epidural for all, experience was absolutely lovely.

Fantasmagoric · 04/05/2019 08:10

I had three great births, not particularly painful, all at home and in a pool. But I've found that no one believes me. Good luck for yours!

whitehalleve · 04/05/2019 08:12

Mine was nowhere near as painful as I expected. Which is lucky as I was refused pain relief not even gas and air.

BridgetDarcy · 04/05/2019 08:17

I had a really positive experience. First baby. Stayed at home, bouncing on my birthing ball, watching an excellent tv series until I was 5cm. Drug free water birth at hospital, minimal intervention. My ten pound baby meant a few stitches but all healed fine. We came home the same day. I would definitely do it again.

WelshMoth · 04/05/2019 09:37

OP, I'm another who enjoyed the experience. It wasn't painless, but the pain was expected and it was intense.

I didn't want anything medicalised, hated scrutiny so this was something I discussed with my MW beforehand. No plan otherwise.

It was a MW led unit and I water birthed all three, paracetamol and that's it. The warm water was an incredible support. Midwives were discreet and lights were dimmed. I'm not ever a demanding nor fussy person but the privacy and silence was essential for me.

I read the Gentle Birthing Method in my first pregnancy, particularly the real life stories at the back of the book - highly recommended! It really helped to mentally prepare me for the birth I wanted. You're right about images and stories in the media - it portrays birth as an assault and makes the inexperienced fearful. I felt super human after each experience and still maintain that giving birth is a privilege.

I really recommend the book. You can do this OP. Your body is one amazing piece of engineering! Thanks

Rightoutofhere · 04/05/2019 09:41

My first labour was a horrible experience because I went in without a clue and allowed them to endlessly poke and prod me and ended up with a horrible forceps delivery.

Educate yourself and you’re likely to have a better experience. You don’t have choice if you don’t actually know what your choices are. Know your rights during labour/birth, understand the process and why certain things happen so you can feel in control and be part of the decision-making.

coffeeandbiscuittime · 04/05/2019 12:40

3 all with epidurals, 1 x induced, 1x ? Placenta prévia watched like a hawk then gave birth naturally ( with the epidural), 1 x normal no issues. All fine, 2nd was traumatic in that she was 3 weeks early and there was a query whether I needed an emergency section and had the full team in during delivery but even with that it was a fairly non traumatic birth. Every persons birth is different, due to perception.
I hated being pregnant, constantly worried whether all was going to be ok , so any potential trauma associated with birth was soon forgotten when they were delivered safely.
Good luck xx

avocadoincident · 04/05/2019 12:48

Yes me, two weeks overdue, went on a drip and then had a baby. Manageable pain and worth it. Xxx
You can do this

m4rdybum · 04/05/2019 15:26

I consider myself to be lucky and say I had a good birth.

Contractions started 9am on Saturday morning. Uncomfortable more than painful. We went shopping on the bus for the day, in a town about 40 minutes away. Started timing them once we got back at 5.30pm as I then decided they were definitely contractions.

That night I slept in the back bedroom for all of 1 or 2 hours max. Pains were much worse when lying down but honestly manageable when on my birthing ball downstairs, so I spent the night watching films on Netflix. Midwives had assessed me on the phone at 2am and as I had slept, and had not lost my plug or waters, they were happy for me to stay at home.

Spent the Sunday with the pains getting more frequent and longer and by 7pm decided I wanted to go to the hospital to get checked. Got there to find I was almost 5cm dilated (which was a massive surprise as I didn't feel like it hurt enough yet). Had to spend an hour or so walking round the hospital before getting onto labour ward at 11.30pm, where I finally had some gas and air.

Waters and plug lost at 2am and pushing by 2.20am Monday morning. By the time I had asked for the pethidine injection it was too late.

Baby born by 3.07am, only with a labial tear which didn't need stitches. The pains were bad in my back just before pushing and crowning was a son of a bitch but honestly, other than that, I found everything quite manageable.

I will say though - my first wee made me cry, and was honestly worse than any of the previous pain I'd experienced.

Igottastartthinkingbee · 04/05/2019 15:29

Yes, I had a better experience than I was expecting. Shortish labour 4hours long but didn’t really twig I was in labour until 2 hours in. Pushing phase was about 20 mins.

IntoValhalla · 04/05/2019 15:43

coffeeandbiscuittime without trying to derail the thread, when did you find out your placenta praevia had resolved itself?
I was told at 12 weeks that my placenta (pregnant with DC3) is completely covering the internal OS Sad I’ve got my 20 week scan next week and am crossing everything in the hope that it’s budged even a little bit! I read an american study on it the other day and the results of that seem to suggest that the likelihood of placenta praevia resolving itself is good, but there are obviously still those who’s doesn’t resolve and they need a csection which is my worst nightmare Sad

justgivemewine · 04/05/2019 15:46

I had vbac with ds2 and ds3. Both labours were straightforward. I think it helped that i stayed upright and walking about for a long time and refused to lie on my back until really necessary, when i did it was immediately more painful. I managed on just gas and air (and loved it - manic laughing for no reason at all Grin ).

Yes it was painful but that's the nature of labour, it different to other pain in that you know why it hurts and it helps to know its temporary and will pass, for me that made it more bearable.

justgivemewine · 04/05/2019 15:52

Valhalla, i had a vbac for ds2 & 3. CS with ds1 was due to placenta previa. If its still covering at 20 weeks you should have another scan at around 34 weeks, and then you will be monitored closely.
Having a cs wasnt in my plans either but it didnt stop me having good births with further dcs :)

redastherose · 04/05/2019 15:53

Yes both of mine were fine. Won't say the actual delivery of the head wasn't painful but manageable (I used entenox for the delivery). I've had worse period pains than most of it tbh.

IntoValhalla · 04/05/2019 16:26

justgive thanks for your experience Smile
If I’m honest it’s not necessarily the surgery itself that worries me, it’s the idea of hospital birth in general.
My experience in hospital with DC1 was less than optimum, so I opted to have DC2 at home. Home birth would always be my preferred options, but obviously if my placenta stays where it is, that’s not possible Sad