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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Has anyone had a labour that wasn't horrific?

179 replies

Leleophants · 03/05/2019 18:42

There are so many horror stories and I feel like some women like to scare others who've yet to go through it. You only hear about how bad it is.

Anyone think it WASN'T as bad as they thought? Or found really good ways to cope?

Helpful advice is better than fear!

OP posts:
DeadDoorpost · 03/05/2019 20:16

Not horrible, just fast. Gas and air really helped, as did the really lovely student midwife I had. And the birthing pool. I don't remember the birth though. That may help 😂

Yogagirl123 · 03/05/2019 20:16

Two natural births, both much easier than I had imagined.

JellycatElfie · 03/05/2019 20:16

I would really recommend looking into hypno birthing, I’ve had two babies and both births were relatively easy and not scary at all. No one knows what will happen - the aim is to deliver a healthy baby and keep moms safe, and sometimes that means doing scary things. But hypno birthing helps regardless because it helps you feel calmer and more in control. And for what it’s worth lots and lots of women have positive birth experiences including me!

JellycatElfie · 03/05/2019 20:17

Oh and also the pain wasn’t what I expected. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t cope or I was dying which isn’t really what you see on tv. I mean it hurts but I’ve had more painful things such as breaking my toe!!!

LutherRalph1 · 03/05/2019 20:21

My "labour" wasn't horrific, before and after were a bit shite though

I was induced with no action 4 days before he arrived, but when I was actually in active labour, it lasted less than 3 hours and I didn't make much noise ( as nobody was getting the gas and air out of my mouth 😂)

I did tear a little but didn't have much issue with healing etc, but I did bleed a lot and have to have my blood regularly taken and monitors after

AlecOrAlonzo · 03/05/2019 20:22

Yes!

I had the most amazing experience with my second. I was a week overdue and hoping for a vbac. The consultant was adamant that I wasn't going past +10 so I was a bit against the clock. I had been doing all the hypnobirth stuff in an attempt to make it a happier, calmer experience. Dh and I had spoken with a doula for advice. Dh was completely on board and understanding.

I had a third sweep on the Monday and went into labour an hour later. Laboured at home all afternoon and night. Got to six minutes between contractions at about 6 am and just stopped. Gah! Went for reflexology at 2 pm Tuesday. Started labouring again about 30 minutes later. Dh was great. He did my tens and we watched Black Books and listened to David Sedaris shows. He ran me a candlelit bath. Laboured away.

At about 4.30 am Wednesday morning I took the dog for a walk. We were very, very rural at the time and I just bellowed at the moon (and the sheep) for an hour. That got me to 3 minutes apart. Dh put me in the car and we high tailed it to the hospital. Had a bit of a time getting there for various reasons and my contractions dropped back to 5 minutes. Got to the hospital at 6 am and went back to 3 minutes. Lay on my back and boom! Back to 5. Spent a few hours walking around until I was knackered. Dh was cracking jokes and being a big rock for me to hang off. Counting down the contractions. Laughed and laughed the whole time. The midwives thought we were mental! He coached me through the hypnobirth stuff and I had some G and A. I had to have regular monitoring because of what had happened the first time. Went into the second stage.

Had a moment of panic but he kept me there. Baby came at midday. No tear, no complications. Baby snuffled her way to the boob and had a feed. All the goo. All the tears and laughing. Hands down the most fabulous and empowering and exciting and hilarious experience of my life. I felt like a queen at the end. It was absolutely amazing. Dh was awesome! The midwives were awesome! The baby was awesome! I was awesome!

Tea. Toast. Home by 8pm.

All the complete opposite of #1 and #3.

It's possible. Surround yourself with love and happiness. Don't be too sad if it doesn't go the way you hoped. The important thing is that you feel confident and safe and cared for. Do all the stuff possible to make that bit happen. The actual mechanics are less important.

Good luck, op!

LemonScentedStickyBat · 03/05/2019 20:23

My mum, my sister and I have had 5 straightforward and manageable labours between us - none of us would say it was easy or pain free but definitely no horror stories for us. I did a hypnobirthing cd thing which I am sure helped me stay calmer.

madcatladyforever · 03/05/2019 20:25

Me, I had an epidural early and didn't feel anything.

ClinkyMonkey · 03/05/2019 20:25

Two short labours and relatively easy births, in that there was definitely pain, but it was bearable. I clung on to the gas and air for dear life during the first labour, only to be told afterwards the machine wasn't working! I felt like a right idiot. Trying to suck gas and air out of that tube and getting nowhere probably took my mind off things.

mineofuselessinformation · 03/05/2019 20:26

Yes, second birth.
I think I would have had a home birth if the membranes weren't so tough (had to be snipped in both labours).
I was only at the hospital for an hour and 40 minutes before dc was born.
No pain relief before I got there, but admittedly I went for the big guns when I got there and had pethidine. I was already 7 cms by then.

JaneEyreAgain · 03/05/2019 20:36

I have had three children. First was long, back to back but wonderful supportive husband and midwives, epidural and stitches but I was part of the decision making and in control, supported and it was a positive birth. Second was a dream, DH and I in a quiet side room while DD just did her thing and arrived with no drama, gas and air, tens and a gentle reminder by DH that perhaps I didn't want to be reclining on the bed as I went into transition. She arrived 5 minutes later. Ds2 was a little more complex, longer and I cried as I wanted a repeat of DD's birth but needed an epidural. The anesthesist was lovely, midwife not so much.

I am now a Doula and see the power of being in control of the decisions you make and what a difference being given options and time to make decisions makes rather than being told what is going to happen next or being told you are doing well versus asking if you are coping. A birth does not need to be unmediated to be a positive experience but if it comes from a position of consultation and balanced information rather than fear, the experience is likely to be better.

IntoValhalla · 03/05/2019 21:02

LutherRalph1 I agree with that for DC1’s birth.
The before and after were shit - the birth itself was fine!
Trying to pee for the first week post birth with a minor 2nd degree tear and lacerations that apparently didn’t need stitches was the worst part of the entire birth experience for me!
After DC2, I felt fine! No tearing etc and I was up and walking around town the following day! Didn’t even feel like I’d given birth at all!

MoodLighting · 03/05/2019 21:06

Yes DC2 was so quick, it was painful because there wasn't even time for gas and air, but it wasn't traumatic.

chardonm · 03/05/2019 21:08

Honestly if you have an epidural it really isn't bad at all. Just tiring.

Dhalandchips · 03/05/2019 21:14

All four of mine were lovely. Number one was long but bearable. Drove myself to hospital with baby 2, just stopped for the contractions. Baby three at home, but had retained placenta meant a trip to hospital, the worst bit was staff arguing about which bed I should go back to the ward on...I was a bit cross, wanted to get back to my baby, not interested in bed politics! Number four was quick and easy. It doesn't have to be a nightmare! Good luck x

nomeslice · 03/05/2019 21:16

I loved giving birth. It was painful and scary at the time but the euphoria I felt afterwards more than made up for this.
My labour started one day after my due date. I felt some mild cramps which were a lot like period pains in the early hours of the morning. Later that day my membranes went and I started leaking fluid. I didn't realise it at the time - I genuinely thought it was a bit of wee. It was not the dramatic gush I expected from films or TV. I felt like things were happening but stayed at home as the cramps were regular but manageable and not worse than a mild period. I carried on as normal for the rest of the day and by the evening everything had calmed down and sort of gone away. I kept expecting things to get exciting but the next morning I was much the same. I sent my DH to work walked into town with my DM and got my hair cut. The cramps were every 10 minutes but still very mild. I contacted my midwife who told me to go to triage to get checked out, so with a fresh cut & blow dry I went to the hospital with DH. The midwives confirmed that my waters were in fact leaking and that things needed to get moving as there was a risk of infection. As I was only 1cm they planned to get me to the delivery suite to break the rest of my waters, and if this didn't work then a hormone drip. There was no bed available so I was admitted to the ward to be monitored for the night. I was able to sleep as I knew I was in the right place. Overnight my contractions became more painful but I slept/breathed through them. By 9am the next morning I was in quite a bit of pain and vomiting after every contraction (I had a very sicky pregancy) and was given pethidine and a drug to stop me vomiting (I asked for this) and nearly cried when I was told I was only 3cm. I was taken to the delivery suite and my waters were broken, I had gas and air. Transition was frightening - I had a very sudden and very strong urge to push but because of my slow progress I couldn't believe I was fully dilated. I honestly thought I would turn myself inside out pushing a baby out of a cervix that was not fully dilated. As it turns out I was dilated and I pushed for just under an hour. I didn't use gas and air while I pushed as it slowed me down. I had a second degree tear which has healed just fine. My baby girl was delivered without any complications and it was undoubtedly the best thing I have ever done. I felt like superwoman after she was born. I still do. Giving birth was the most raw, primal and real experience I have ever had. All the emotions get turned up to 11, extreme fear and joy and love and anticipation and relief all at once. I would do it again tomorrow.
Also: I thought I would want a water birth/aromatherapy/meditate through all of my contractions and breathe my baby out. The reality is that I told my midwife to shove her essential oils, I wanted nothing to do with a bath or birthing pool and I spent a lot of time wailing "I can't do this" which got me through :)

Rtmhwales · 03/05/2019 21:22

Mine was fine. I actually enjoyed myself once the epidural was in. OB sat on the end of the bed while I pushed and we chatted about the state of men and the crap that is online dating. Four hours and I was done, from start to finish. I remember it fondly.

RedBerryTea · 03/05/2019 21:24

2 natural births, two epidurals, no problems.

Gigia · 03/05/2019 21:26

Me! My ds was two weeks late, I was induced and labour was straight forward. He was born in two hours with no pain relief and I was home the same day.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 03/05/2019 21:29

Me! First baby, 7 and a half hours labour, no pain relief needed, didn't feel contractions, went for a fry up during "active labour", pushed twice and done. Tiny tear didn't need stitches. It was a lovely experience. (DC2 different story but I won't go into that)

annlee3817 · 03/05/2019 23:56

1 natural birth, 2 hours in there birthing pool and the rest out of it, straightforward, just over 5hrs from start to finish, good experience really. I used hypnobirthing techniques from the Maggie Howell cd to keep calm

Marlena1 · 04/05/2019 00:10

I had two very different births and neither was horrific. All I heard were bad stories, which in hindsight were mainly people sounding dramatic. First was a section and the second time induced. Labour was intense but not half as painful as I'd been led to believe. Contractions are short, it's not a continuous pain. Get the gas into you, it's great stuffGrin

Equimum · 04/05/2019 00:11

My first wasn’t ideal but my second was actually quite nice. Labour started on a summer evening and DH and I went for a long walk. Went to the hospital about midnight and I managed to get myself into a really relaxed, zoned out space. Had gas and air for about two hours and DS was born easily at dawn.

PerspicaciaTick · 04/05/2019 00:31

Two labours, both very different. I could write either of them up as a horror story if I chose to, but I don't. I prefer to think of them positively, I coped mentally and physically, found it weirdly enjoyable (and scary and overwhelming) and I birthed two amazing babies. Me! I did that! 15 years later I am still rather in awe of myself for giving birth. I assume it is like people who run marathons, who recite the injuries, the agony of the wall, the indignities but who still come out of it on some sort of adrenaline high (and who do it all again).

LuubyLuu · 04/05/2019 02:24

I had three births, one dramatic, blue lights and sirens, baby in distress. Two water births, no pain-relief needed. Guess which one I talk about Wink