Any top tips on Breast feeding / what you wish you had known beforehand ?

[EnchantingRaven]

Hi all

I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and hoping to ebf my LO and she’ll be our first baby.

I’m sure this is normal but I feel like I have absolutely no idea what to expect / how I’m going to cope! I’ve been reading a lot online and watched some videos on YouTube which there seems to be a lot of focus on the ‘latch’ & ensuring it’s right.

Does anybody have tips or advice of what you found useful when you just started breast feeding / getting the latch right? Is it clear you can hear the baby sucking and then swallowing? (Sorry if that’s a stupid question)

Does it hurt? I’ve read conflicting info some say it’s toe curling others not so much, is this more so down to everyone being different?

I’m also hoping to express milk so my DP can bond with her too and I can have precious sleep too!, I understand you shouldn’t really do this for a few weeks which is fine but again, any tips on how to cope with feeding on demand? Is it literally whenever she needs it so there’s no limit I can feed her? My HV came around at 28 weeks and told me it will literally feel like I’m BF all day for 8 weeks! (I’ve bought nipple cream and nipple shields incase they become sore.) I wish I asked my HV more questions but I’ve had HG throughout this pregnancy and wasn’t particularly feeling great when she was here so I’m kicking myself now.

I’m really excited to meet her but I’m really worried I’m not going to be able to get the breast feeding right! Any other tips / advice would be great too

TIA

FinDing this thread very useful and reassuring. My baby is one week old, and I have been breastfeeding. However, due to poor latching (even though I had been shown by a lot of midwives). Baby lost too much weight, and so we were advised to top up feed with formula. I nearly gave up, but another midwife showed me better latching, and I’ve kept up with it (along with formula)...

It’s been very draining, making me feel unwell, doubting myself. Even last night I was about to give up, as baby feeds on me for so long, and still drinks a bottle.

But this helps me see that’s it’s normal. Baby needs to keep feeding to help bring in the milk. So, hoping this carries on.

Good luck OP. It’s really helped me to bond with baby, while suffering the baby blues. Even the extra skin on skin is a lovely experience xx

When midwife says baby doesn't have tongue tie.... They aren't always right. My HV picked up on ours. Bloody life saver. Also a pump helped as I was so fuckin miserable and in so much pain by day 3. Now at 6 months it's lovely. We combo fed and it worked wonders.

Youtube was brilliant. I managed to feed lying down, it was so much easier. YouTube showed me so much 😂.

I haven’t read the thread so I hope I’m not repeating anyone (I probably am) but I think these four points are incredibly important.

1. It is perfectly normal for babies to lose weight in the first week or so. Don’t allow yourself to be panicked.
2. It is perfectly normal for your milk not to come in until day 3 and that is absolutely fine. Don’t allow yourself to be panicked.
3. If at all possible, don’t express until your supply is fully established. That can take about 6 weeks. Obviously this does not apply to poorly babies- all bets are off then of course.
4. The best way to up your supply is to feed. Babies stimulate milk supply so much better than breast pumps.

Would also be good to get tips on feeding in public! Not sure how I will be able to do that. Just now I sit on the sofa topless trying over and over to get baby on 🙈

Top tip for feeding in public.

No one cares, stares or anything. I have BF in Ikea on a display sofa, at a pavement cafe, on a bus, school assembly, at work on a kit day. Honestly never had any stares or disaproval. The odd knowing smile from other women, and a hipster man once gave me a bottle of water 😊 children take it in their stride, teenagers don’t notice/care.

Second tip, take a Muslin and then you can cover your boob if you feel a bit exposed.

Definitely give a bottle early on because if you leave it too long they may just refuse then you're stuck with having to do every single feed forever for as long as you're bfing years. I'm saying this from bitter experience.

There is a Facebook group called ‘can I feed in it’ or CIFII or something like that. It’s full of people who ha e found items of clothing from high street chains that you can BF in. Not specific nursing tops, but ones that can work. They usually post a link as well. I ordered some great items, I was so sick of maternity clothes, and I didn’t want another year of horrible frumpy nursing clothes.

If you've got a moses basket I wouldn't bother with next to me as they only last 6 months or so so not much longer than the basket, just buy a full sized cot from ikea and convert it to a bedside one. Not too difficult to do.

I feed lying down and I have fried egg boobs - it's totally possible :)

Bettiebots, please tell me how? I have fried egg boobs too and DD can’t seem to reach lying down 🙈

Hi OP
I am now breastfeeding my 14 week old successfully, but it was a long and hard road. Things I would now advise:
1.Once your milk has come in, go and see a breastfeeding support worker/midwife/lactation consultant and CHECK YOUR LATCH. Even if you think it is all going well, have somebody else have a look.

1. Yes breastfeeding can be a bit uncomfortable to begin with, and the first few sucks can be a bit 'ouch' but it shouldn't be agonising (I speak from experience!) If it is agonising and you are dreading each feed, something is wrong and GET HELP.
2. Any sign of infection in breast go straight to GP.
3. Not everyone will agree but when you are starting out on breastfeeding I would take the baby off once he/she starts comfort sucking (stops swallowing). This can do damage to the nipple before they are 'toughened up' and can lead to infection.

I now LOVE breastfeeding but I HATED it at first and if I had followed points 1-4 I would have not had any problems!

GOOD LUCK - it's great and so convenient once you've got it established.

@BertrandRussell
Great points. I'll just say though that I had a post-partum haemmorrage so my milk didn't come in properly until day 5. Still had colostrum though, and baby fed constantly. Weight dropped but picked right back up once milk was in.

@BeHereNowx32
I struggled with feeding in public for the first two months, here are my top tips:

• use the parents rooms at shopping centres until you feel more comfortable. They often have enclosed, private areas for feeding and usually only other breastfeeding mums will see you.
• get some clothes you can feed discreetly in, as not all babies will feed with a cover (my baby for example). I bought a couple of 3 layer style tops that are loose and you just pull the layer aside to reveal a boob. The shirt keeps you mostly covered.

I also made my own nursing singlets by cutting the straps and adding poppers (I have a KamSnap kit but you could just as easily sew on buttons). I made my own as all the ones I could find in store didn't come in my cup size (F cup). I just wear the singlets when I'm at home but put a t-shirt over the top when out.

1. You soon realise no one cares, and the more you do it the more confident you'll become.

I was extra self conscious about it, as I had fast letdown and had to use shields (still have to use shields due to flat nipples and bany struggling to latch). If you just get on with it you'll see that no one really cares. They might just look at you with pity if your baby is exceptionally fussy like mine is.

1. Join a mothers group for new mums, and go out for lunch with them. Then you'll be amongst people in the same boat as you, and it's the nicest thing having other mum friends who can cuddle your baby while you eat, and vise versa.

@PRoseLegend Thank you for tips. I do worry that we have introduced a bottle and dummy too early. But I really wouldn’t be able to handle the demand of all that sucking! Hopefully if I keep up regular feeding, it will be ok.

Sorry to high jack OP

Thanks everyone

BeHereNowx32

No problem - I was thinking about public BF too I’ve already noticed my local boots and a few other places have private rooms for BF which I will definitely be taking advantage of.

I’m also hoping my fried egg boobs will reach my LO. The lying down position looks ideal!

just adding my two cents of reassurance about public BF- I have fed my two everywhere, different countries, public transport, park benches, family gatherings, at work, in the hallways at a conference. You name it.

NOT ONE COMMENT! no disapproval whatsover - people literally couldn't care less. If anything people (occasionally) are approving. But mostly, it gets about as much attention as someone reading the newspaper in public.

one tip - I have never used a cloth, just worn loose shirts, but I did find a
'belly band' useful cos I'm self conscious of my podgy stomach. Its literally just a stretchy circle of fabric that goes underneath your bra and over the top of your trousers/ skirt, so it looks like you are wearig a vest, and no skin shows at all, except maybe a small triangle between the top of your baby's head and your shirt. You can buy them for the purpose, or use a boob tube type thing, or even just cut the straps off a tight vest.

good luck, and try not to worry! we've been doing this since time began!!

(by the way, that was not meant to sound patronising - hope it doesn't - BF can be painful and it's ridic exhausting at first when they feed pretty much full time, but hope you can just relax into a 'sofa lifestyle' for a while! then after the first bit, SO much easier than sterilising all those bottles, not to mention free...)

Ploppy - how old is she? I did it with DS1 from birth but I couldn't get DS2 to do it until he was a few weeks old because we started in hospital and I had to sit up.

You both lie on your sides facing each other. You can't move your boob to a good position if there's nothing to move, so scooch the baby in really close. It's best if they aren't wearing a sleeping bag, particularly when they are really tiny and don't do it with them swaddled (unless you 100% aren't going to fall asleep). Just a sleepsuit and vest is perfect, if you have a cellular blanket you can drape it over both of you. Or even skin to skin, if the room is warm enough.

The thing I had to remember was to pull him right down so that he was having to "look up" (if you look yourself now at the corner between the wall in front of you and your ceiling, that's about the angle you want their neck to be - provides a nice straight throat for swallowing - try swallowing while looking up, looking straight ahead and then looking down - chin to chest. You'll see why it helps.) - nose level with nipple so that the mouth has to open over the boob. And very very close to you, tucked right in.

At first just try the lower boob, you'll have to roll over if you want to feed from the other side (this provides a handy point to wind by rubbing their back as they lie on you) but when they get a bit bigger you can sort of lean over them and dangle the other boob over their mouth.

If it doesn't work just try again a few weeks later. A more mobile baby and more experience breastfeeding helps.

oh and I love this book, it was really useful and reassuring:

www.cartoonkate.co.uk/the-food-of-love/

Everyone told me not to feed to sleep and I just thought it was ridiculous, impossible-to-follow advice for an ebf baby and ignored it. DC1 was a terrible sleeper. With DC2, I realised you have to get them to feed once they wake up from a nap (sleep then feed rather than feed to sleep). He has lots more energy to feed too. Didn't start doing that until DC2 was about 4-5 weeks old - first month I just fed him whenever he wanted. He's a much better sleeper. Not for everyone perhaps, but just sharing advice I valued!

I fed both of mine to sleep, have had no issues with it and both sleep totally fine independently now they are older. I wasted so much time with DS1 trying to get him to sleep in other ways and wished I'd realised sooner!

Did a bit of poking aroubd to see what was typical in terms of tantrum behaiour. This article was interesting. Nearly 90 per cent of the sample had tantrums. And about 53 percent stopped having tantrums after the age of 5. That leaves a fairly large minority of children still tantruming after the age if 5.

scholar.google.de/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=Age+frequency+tantrum&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3D8bWP_LW2xLcJ

O jeez. That ended up on the wrong post. Sorry! Long day. Think ill give up and go to bed.

Thank you bertiebotts. She is 17 weeks. I haven’t tried since she was about 4 weeks though so will again, using your technique. My boobs are so small the top one would never reach! Will try the other though, thanks again.

My top one wouldn't reach either. Hence the rolling over - not one to do if you're concerned about falling asleep :)

I was one of the lucky ones who really did find breastfeeding easy. My babies both picked it up straight away, had good latches and I had no pain whatsoever. I tell you this not to brag, but to remind you that it's not always hard. It's not always easy either, but I know personally, I had so many people telling me how hard it was that it was reassuring to hear it didn't have to be.

My advice is:

1. Get yourself a few cheap breastfeeding tops. I loved having easy access to boobs without having to lift my top up (already have big boobs and found the bunched up material when lifting tops annoying). I feel like this was a big part of my success as it just made things easy and comfortable for me.
2. Drink plenty of water and eat well with nutritious food. Breastfeeding makes you thirsty and hungry and sometimes tired.
3. Take what other people say with a grain of salt. People are not unbiased. My MIL for example had not breastfed her children and was always giving me unsolicited and incorrect advice. I honestly feel like she was bothered by the fact that I did things differently to her and had I followed some of her advice it would definitely have had a negative impact on my ability to feed. Luckily I had good support elsewhere and was able to ignore the unhelpful stuff.
4. On the support issue, look up people like The Milk Meg on Facebook. They're a great source of info and support.
5. Feeding is not the only way to bond. Get your partner doing baths and things like that rather than him giving her a bottle which can affect your supply in the early days. No harm in trying once you've established breastfeeding, but pumping can be hard work and can alter your supply.
6. "If in doubt, whip it out" was my motto. Babies feed for so many reasons, not just hunger. I could always feel the difference between a hunger feed and a comfort feed. The baby can actually change the way they suck to alter the flow of milk. You can't over feed a breastfed baby, and both mine have been very calm, content little souls because they always had immediate access to the boob when upset, which really did seem to solve every problem for a long time.
7. Learn about cluster feeding. Prepare by setting yourself up with little feeding stations around the place (water, tissues, pillows etc).

I also had severe HG in pregnancy. Was still being sick in labour and ended up on a drip having 12 bags fluid. (Sure youre used to this!) But what I didnt realise was that amongst other things would effect my supply. (Induced at 37wks due to HG ended in emcs, severely jaundiced baby, haemorage in theatre, anaemic)

So many things effect milk. But I was told HG, dehydration, ketoacidosis and the vitamin mineral defficiencys it gave me. Meant my milk didnt start to come through until day 7 maybe bit longer until day 10 being proper milk. Was a long labour love to get it flowing involving alot of pumping, breast massage, feeding baby alot, and bags of fluid. Topped up with donor milk for baby.

I am really lucky that baby latched so well from start even with a tounge tie. So its not all a bad story.

I was so proud of my self for persivering until milk came through. As it was easily the most emotionally draining time of my life. I wish I had realised how HG would effect me postpartum. (On positive note my 1st words when I come round from anasetic was "omg I dont feel sick" 😂)

Also I widh I had knew pumped ammount doesnt relate to ammount in breast. I have a fast let down now and an iver supply. But still cant get a good ammount out with a pump.

Emotions and stress effect supply. So if you find it hard try not to stress as it will be a vicious circle.

You tube videos of breast massaging and hand expressing helped me alot. I react so much better to hand expressing. So worth knowing about incase you are same.