Any top tips on Breast feeding / what you wish you had known beforehand ?

[EnchantingRaven]

Hi all

I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and hoping to ebf my LO and she’ll be our first baby.

I’m sure this is normal but I feel like I have absolutely no idea what to expect / how I’m going to cope! I’ve been reading a lot online and watched some videos on YouTube which there seems to be a lot of focus on the ‘latch’ & ensuring it’s right.

Does anybody have tips or advice of what you found useful when you just started breast feeding / getting the latch right? Is it clear you can hear the baby sucking and then swallowing? (Sorry if that’s a stupid question)

Does it hurt? I’ve read conflicting info some say it’s toe curling others not so much, is this more so down to everyone being different?

I’m also hoping to express milk so my DP can bond with her too and I can have precious sleep too!, I understand you shouldn’t really do this for a few weeks which is fine but again, any tips on how to cope with feeding on demand? Is it literally whenever she needs it so there’s no limit I can feed her? My HV came around at 28 weeks and told me it will literally feel like I’m BF all day for 8 weeks! (I’ve bought nipple cream and nipple shields incase they become sore.) I wish I asked my HV more questions but I’ve had HG throughout this pregnancy and wasn’t particularly feeling great when she was here so I’m kicking myself now.

I’m really excited to meet her but I’m really worried I’m not going to be able to get the breast feeding right! Any other tips / advice would be great too

TIA

Good websites are kellymom and also Google Dr Jack Newman. Both good sources of information.
It's important to understand cluster feeding and also trust yourself and your body. People around you are likely to be more au fait with formula feeding so you will get people suggesting you switch to that.
Get plenty of real life support. Also when a mother is breastfeeding, she needs to be "mothered" in turn. Your husband can feed the baby by feeding you and making sure that you are hydrated and comfortable.
Best of luck!

The first couple of days are insane. On day 3 after feeding my daughter being awake from 10pm - 8am I wanted to give up but on day 4, my milk came in and things began to get calmer.

It does hurt to start with particularly when they are feeding so much - I've had pain when she's gone through growth spurts more recently too (she's 6 months).

It does create an unequal split of responsibility between you and your partner and at times, that can be hard.

Definitely buy Lansinoh cream.
If you can, try to latch on as soon as possible after birth- babies are awake for a couple of hours then tend to get very sleepy after birth. If you manage to latch on before they get sleepy, then it is apparently easier going forward, though not impossible if you are not able to do this

Don't aim to get the nipple in the mouth - aim to get as much of the boob as possible in the mouth. Sounds strange, but you'll see. If there isn't enough in mouth it'll hurt.

If you're not sure about the amount of wee your baby is producing try pouring a small cup of water into a dry nappy and see how it gets absorbed. That can help you judge how "full" a nappy is.

If your birth goes tits up and you end up with a baby in SCBU being tube fed, it can be possible to get back to fully breastfeeding. Although it is hard tiring work, and involves a lot of expressing.

If the latch is still hurting after the first few moments then don't persist with a bad latch as you risk damaging your nipples. Break the latch with your little finger and try again until it's comfortable.

If your breasts are engorged (they can very full and hard) then hand express or do a quick pump express to soften them a little to help your baby latch.

I’ve never had any pain or bothered using any nipple cream. I’ve always fed on demand, and often offered it even when not demanded, just to keep baby quiet or put him to sleep or calm him down if he’s crying etc.

I couldn’t pump and get DH to feed while I slept because 1. The loud crying woke me anyway and my body responded hormonally to the crying by squirting out milk, and 2. My breasts weren’t psychic and had no idea DH would be giving a bottle, so they kept filling up as usual and the painful fullness would wake me at feeding time anyway. It seemed stupid for me to lie in bed emptying my painful full breasts with a pump while DH was downstairs trying to heat milk and give a bottle to a crying baby who just wanted his mummy. It was easier and more sensible for me just to breastfeed. There are other ways for Dad to bond.

Also your milk changes composition during the day and it contains sleepy hormones at night etc. So it’s not recommended to feed milk pumped in the morning at night etc. And then there was the extra work of constantly washing and sterilising the pump and the bottles, and defrosting milk from the freezer. It was all just too much hassle. I was already exhausted and it was just creating more work. So I fed directly from the breast most of the time because it was quicker and easier for everyone.

I’ll take a look at those websites / the YouTube video too - thanks. I’ll try that with the nappies too, I was worried about that!

I do want my DP to feed her but I won’t be hurrying into expressing, I too want to feel and cherish that bond you all have with your babies too. But it will be something I do eventually progress with, I haven’t bought anything yet though as I thought I’d just wait and see - I’ll probably change my mind when she’s here, I know what I’m like.. I’ll insist on DP doing everything else but feeding like someone has mentioned!

How long did you all breast feed for? I’ve bought Lansinoh cream, I searched a few threads on here before posting and someone mentioned Multi-Mam Compresses? Any experience with these or is this just an alternative to the lansinoh cream?

Read The Womanly Art of Breast Feeding.

Start hand expressing from 38 weeks, you might get some colostrum and you’ll get more colostrum when baby is born and milk will likely come in quicker (waiting for that is when people often crack and start formula). There are videos on YouTube.

When baby arrives and you are wondering what you are supposed to do with it, the answer is latch on and allow them to stimulate milk. All newborns do is sleep, snuggle, suckle and fill their nappy, if it seems that they are on your breast all their waking time then that’s great!

Accept that for the 4th trimester, you’ll be feeding, feeding and feeding! Give in to the mess and getting nothing else getting done and just enjoy the closeness and the snuggles for what is just a snippet of their lives. You’ll be tired, but allow yourself to be tired, laze around and just make you and your baby’s comfort the priority.

In terms of practical tips, I’d just accept that the success of feeding depends on feeding on demand, directly from the breast as much as possible (if exclusively is not possible). You produce milk in the quantities that baby demands, making watery thirst quenching milk at the beginning of the day, thicker more filling milk at the end (so you also guide the sleep/wake cycle by feeding too). When you start expressing you mess up these supply/demand and day/night milk type relationships and it can all go a bit wrong. For example a common problem with expressing is creating increased or over-supply but the oversupply is of watery milk which gives babies colic and poor weight gain. Poor weight gain makes people feed even more, worsening the situation...the whole thing being a really common reason for bfing to fail. All started by expressing. The other common reason is trying to feed to a schedule instead of trusting that you and the baby can find your own, and understanding that feeding clusters are totally normal.

I have 3DC, all breast fed. I’ve learnt more each time, from personal experience as well as watching how each set of mums I’ve shared my mat leave with each time and I’d say that those who’ve been most successful have been those who have just relaxed into feeding in demand, anywhere and anytime without schedules, expressing, bottles and all the things people try to sell you (because they can’t push formula).

The last thing I’d say is that nature is sadly fallable. Breast feeding is the normal, natural way to feed, but fed is best. If you need to use formula don’t beat yourself up; we live in an age when this is an option and this is a great thing!

Multi man compresses were a lifesaver for me!!!! So much better personally than lansinoh cream, I found the lanolin caused baby to slip off (which didn't help the bad latch!) I highly recommend them

Thanks Velvet when you put it like that it does make sense just for the baby to stick to the boob. I haven’t really thought about the extra hassle of sterlising and defrosting milk. Something for me to definately think about.

Agree with pp, buy the la leche league book: the womanly art of breastfeeding. It's the absolute bible of bf.

Products:
-Breast shells to air nipples between feeds
Lansinoh
Mam compression pads
Heat up gel pads to ease engorgement pain
Haakaa breast pump for easy expressing whilst feeding on other side, or to relieve engorgement
Boots washable breast pads. Buy 4 packs. Much more comfy than disposable.

Wear a vest under a top, so you can pull the vest down under your boob and lift the top up. Avoid dresses.

Buy 4 nursing bras.

Have a squeezy type water bottle near you when feeding.
Get all remotes, snack, phone, in reach before feeding.

Research safe co-sleeping and learn to feed lying down. It'll save you so much sleep deprivation!

I was in hospital for a month with my twins. We had every midwife, breastfeed counselling, nurse in the place. Still they never managed to latch on once, just too tiny! So it doesn't work for everyone despite the best of intentions. If that's you, don't beat yourself up. My girls haven't had a day off school sick in 6 years, are super brainy and have no allergies so they don't seem to gave been afflicted by their inability to latch! Get Netflix and box sets. Good luck.

In my last weeks of pregnancy I went to a breast feeding support group. I did at first get looked at like I was crazy going without a baby, but when I spoke to the group and asked them tips of things they hadn't been told prior they were extremely helpful. Maybe worth a try. And being transferred to community breastfeeding support was a god send, the lady I spoke to was amazing. Best of luck it isn't easy xx

Everyone with different and their experiences are different. So what I say might not be the case for everyone but....

My DS never wanted to feed non stop, he just had a good feed every couple hours... and was 12lbs at 6 weeks so obviously getting enough! So it’s not a given they will be glued to your boob.

I did find it pretty painful I’m not going to lie but just persevere as you know it will get better and you’re doing amazing stuff for your baby!

Plan some good Netflix shows! You will have lots of sofa time.

Research your local breastfeeding group, it can help to have hands on support if you aren’t sure about something.

It’s great for weight loss! You don’t often hear people talk about that but it’s definately helping me after I put on a ton of weight.

Don’t focus on expressing yet just get it established first, you will have plenty time when your confidence grows.

Finally have a positive attitude... this really helped me.

Everyone is different * gawd sleep deprived typing!

When your baby is feeding constantly, don’t doubt yourself and feel like it’s because you’re not making enough milk, it’s totally normal.

Have plenty of tasty, healthy food you can eat with one hand available- this can be your partner’s job.

Make sure you have food, a drink and the remote/your phone/a book before you sit down ready to feed - you will be there a while.

If you are keen to bottle feed as well, introduce the bottle once they’ve established breastfeeding, don’t leave it too late like I did. Similarly, if you find you don’t want your baby to have a bottle don’t feel under pressure from anybody to give them one.

Finally, persevere. I found the first few weeks REALLY hard and nearly gave up, but once I was through that bit it’s so easy and I’m so pleased I carried on. I didn’t breastfeed my first, still breastfeeding my second aged 15 months and wouldn’t change it for the world.

Good luck, such an exciting time for you

When you start expressing you mess up these supply/demand and day/night milk type relationships and it can all go a bit wrong
I totally agree with this. Problems are caused by feeding expressed day milk at night. Or feeding one night then trying to sleep the next night and expecting your milk supply to turn off like a tap, then turn on again to feed the next night. Etc. I strongly believe that the reason I’ve been able to feed for over a year with zero problems is because 99% of the time I feed on demand directly from the breast, to maintain those supply/demand day/night hormonal patterns.

It’s great for weight loss!
It really isn’t. I can’t lose weight and the GP told me the high levels of prolactin hormones due to breastfeeding are inhibiting my fat burning ability. He said I won’t get thin until I stop breastfeeding.

It’s hard at the beginning but so worth it.
At some point a few months in the baby works out that you are the source of all this wonderful milk and keeps stopping eating to smile up at you — it was all worth it for these moments.

@VelvetPineapple - in my experience it has helped me lose weight, as it did my sister and my mum. I got really heavy during pregnancy with a big baby and breastfeeding is helping me a lot. Obviously not everyone’s experience but I can say it has helped me.

I didn't breastfeed. Was back to pre twins pregnant weight within 2 weeks.

Feed as often as your baby needs. Not to scare you but I once fed non-stop for 12 hours. He cried every time I took him off and in hindsight was probably going through a growth spurt so needed the extra milk and comfort. If in doubt, feed. It is a magical cure all.

The ideal time to introduce a bottle of expressed milk seems to be between 4-6 weeks. Any earlier and it can (apparently) mess up your supply/cause 'nipple confusion' and any later and they may not take to a bottle. This is not set in stone but it worked for us.

Setting up a 'feeding station' on the couch with food, drinks, remotes, books/mags, phone etc will save your sanity. Have it prepared in advance at all times!!

Don't give up. There are times it is ecrutiatingly difficult and other times it's a wonderful experience. I've reached almost a year with my son and hope to continue a few more years. It's one thing I'm proud to have achieved in my life. You'll do amazing when your time comes. Good luck for the birth and afterwards x

@EnchantingRaven

You have the nipple cream! Good start!

Don't express too early. I didn't even attempt any bottle feeds until 6 weeks with expressed milk. Your supply needs time to establish.

Don't miss your night feeds as this us when your prolactin is highest and will stimulate milk production. Once you're expressing, DP can help by doing the late evening feed so you get a good stretch of sleep from evening to midnight but keep those nighttime feeds to ensure production!

For me, my worst times were the middle of the night in the first week or so. The dark, the pain, the sleep deprivation. If I'd had bottles and formula I would've given them there and then. I'm glad I didn't have then in the house as it all felt so much more manageable once it was daytime and I'm really glad I stuck by it. Its wonderful!

Other thing, go to your local breastfeeding group. It's great for support and advice as well as meeting other mums. Also fond out about home visits from breast feeding support workers so you have numbers ready to go if you need them.

It may be tough to start, it was for me but it got better. I hope it all goes well for you!

And Google cluster feeding!

Oh and prepare lots of batches of meals to freeze e.g. soups, spag bol, casseroles etc. The last thing you want to do in the early weeks is cook loads! Buy healthy snack foods in like cheeses, avocados, and nuts too x