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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Older children childcare during labour

31 replies

Eslteacher06 · 19/02/2019 18:22

Just wondered what people did when they went into labour if they had no one they felt comfortable to ask to look after their child, especially through the night. My family don't live nearby and I feel very uncomfortable asking friends (especially as most have their own kids to deal with).

We really don't know what to do!! Any advice would be great.

OP posts:
HalfBloodPrincess · 19/02/2019 18:26

I’m in a similar-ish position. DP will have to stay home with the dc.

SSRainbow · 19/02/2019 18:30

Can a family member make their way over to you as soon as you go in to labour? That’s what I did, although they were only three hours away...

OnceUponAGiraffe · 19/02/2019 18:34

I would be honoured to look after someone else’s children whilst they were in labour, even if they were not very close. And despite my own children, I’d shift heaven and high water to make it work.

My youngest was helpfully born at midday after her two elder brothers had been taken to school and nursery, and in time for dad to pick them both up (exceptionally well timed ;)) but I had about five friends on standby to help.

ApolloandDaphne · 19/02/2019 18:49

One of my friends had DD1 when I was in hospital having DD2. But she was 5 and the friend was DD1s godmother.

katsucurry · 19/02/2019 19:00

If you're low risk could you consider a homebirth?

Original poster
Eslteacher06 · 19/02/2019 19:53

I am low risk and I guess it could be an option.... I'll have a think about that one. I will need DP with me. I can't imagine doing it without him!

OP posts:
Waggily · 19/02/2019 20:01

We had my MIL on standby an hour away and the neighbours primed for the middle of the night until she got here. Lots of school mums offered to help too if we needed it, even though I barely knew them at that point.

Original poster
Eslteacher06 · 19/02/2019 20:54

It wouldn't be so bad if people offered...my MIL lives close but she's not.... reliable (?). She's let us down a few times getting up on time when looking after DD when childminder is sick. It's like trying to wake the dead. She is on standby but just wondering what people did if they had no one.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 19/02/2019 21:00

What about the childminder? She might help out, for a fee. As kids our CM had us a few times on Saturdays when our parents had to go to funerals etc.

Dontwalkaway · 19/02/2019 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HalfBloodPrincess · 19/02/2019 21:15

I’m quite looking forward to doing it in my own, and secretly hoping for a middle of the night dash to the mlu! It is baby #4 though so it's all old hatto us 🤣

katsucurry · 19/02/2019 21:22

I think contacting a childminder/babysitter a PP mentioned is also a good idea. Let them know it would be last minute babysitting, maybe contact a few as you can't predict labour. Probably not that practical but I'm not sure how many other options there are.

somersetsinger · 19/02/2019 21:23

We asked our geographically close friends and neighbours to each volunteer a little bit of time to be on standby. Between them they were able to offer cover for the whole time. In the event, two of them shared the care. I was pleased to be asked to return the favour for one and would happily help out any other mum I know.

I was more worried about this than any other aspect of pregnancy and labour. I think the worry stopped me from going into labour until I was very overdue. A homebirth might have been a better choice, but I was worried about the mess and where to fit a pool!

Angelmiracle · 19/02/2019 21:34

@HalfBloodPrincess my aunt had all 7 of her kids on her own she loved it!!

Bigonesmallone3 · 19/02/2019 21:36

I don't want to leave me dc for my birth, especially dd as she's so young so I have my heart set on a home birth

stealthbanana · 19/02/2019 21:42

My mum was meant to come and stay (she lives a plane ride away). But my waters broke at 10pm at 37+5 and she hadn’t arrived yet! We called our nanny who fortunately hadn’t gone to bed and she came over and stayed the night. Just as well as DD arrived by emergency c section at 1am that morning and my husband would have had to stay with DS if we hadn’t found someone.

Dontwalkaway · 19/02/2019 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryann1975 · 19/02/2019 21:51

I had a home birth. It is still advisable to have someone on standby just in case you have to either transfer to hospital or baby comes at tea time when everyone is still up and about. But both of my home births (dc2 and then 3) waited until the older siblings were in bed to start and both were quick (which was quite the opposite to dc1).
For dc2, I had a list of very ‘b list’ friends, so not my close friends as they were all away, but they were all happy to volunteer to come round and I know would have done that if they’d been asked.
For dc3, all the ‘a list’ friends were on standby but it was my neighbour stood in the kitchen with the paramedics as I pushed baby out. Dc passed me onion in labour so an ambulance was arranged to transfer us. I panicked about the other 2 dc and It was far easier for dh to nip next door than start phoning round at 10pm at night. Weweren’t close before that, but after witnessing my labour and birth, we were quite close after that night.

I’m a childminder and would never mind doing this for a family, even if I hardly knew them. The older child would cope and it would only be for a short day. I couldn’t have coped transfering with out dh so I’d have left the dc with anyone I vaguely knew to be a good person (I do know a lot of people and wouldn’t trust them all with the dc though), even if the dc didn’t really know them that well. Sometimes in a medical emergency their needs are lower than mine.

porridgeface · 19/02/2019 22:05

Please ask your friends first. I'd feel terrible if one of my friends was worrying about arranging childcare for when they went into labour. I wouldn't hesitate to say yes if any of my friends were in this situation. If they have kids even better surely? X

Original poster
Eslteacher06 · 19/02/2019 22:10

Thanks for all the replies! I worry how DD would be with people she doesn't completely know that well too but I guess I can mitigate that by sorting it out now.

OP posts:
nombrecambio · 19/02/2019 22:42

We did a huge move (4,000 miles) when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant and we knew no one.

Another mum offered to have DS if we were stuck and his nursery key worker said she'd have him if needed. Ultimately I was prepared to go it alone.

Luckily (or not so luckily) I had placenta previa and a breach baby so an ELCS was booked in and DD waited until the planned date when my parents were there.

Dontwalkaway · 20/02/2019 06:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaverickSnoopy · 20/02/2019 06:53

Good suggestion from pp about asking the childminder. When I had DC3 our ex childminder said to call her even in the middle of the night if in went into labour and needed to get to hospital quickly while our main childcare (my parents) travelled. You'll find that most people want to help in these situations. I'm about to become a childminder and would absolutely do it.

anniehm · 20/02/2019 08:17

Luckily a colleague of my dh offered because we lived a 10 hour flight from family. Otherwise the hospital said we could bring dd with us and she could sit with the nurses - that's private healthcare for you!

TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 08:21

My husband stayed at home until I was pushing then I called him in so it meant that the time the eldest were with ILs was minimal. If they had been away, I’d have gone in alone.