Are second births REALLY easier?

[halpert]

Honestly? I know it depends entirely on the person and situation- but it would be nice to hear from parents who didn't necessarily have an easy none of it's easy birthing experience the first time round who found it much easier the second?

For context dd 1 - waters went at 7pm, hospital by 8pm, born at 11:57pm.

Dd2, waters went at 1am, labour line tried to get midwife led unit open but didn't phone back till 4am, at hospital for 4:20, midwife told me I'd be hours and may send me hone at 5:40 and made me cry, baby was born at 06:06am

I'm not sure that this is the story you want to hear, but here goes:

DD1 - in labour 2 days, 5 hours pushing, she was stuck " stargazing" - EMCS
DD2 - kneeling breech, wouldn't do ECV due to previous c section - ELCS

I must say that DD2's birth was lovely. Much calmer and was able to fully engage with what was happening. I also had prior warning, so I was able to rest beforehand and I wasn't tired from pushing etc.

Afraid I didn’t find DD2 easier! Both her and DD1 were about the same weight too!

DD1 was back to back. I was in the MLU and she was born about 7 hours after I got to hospital, two of that was pushing before she turned. Just used the pool, G&A and TENS. I had a first degree tear and walked to the postnatal ward! I remember thinking that I’d do that again while being stitched up!

DD2 was back to back very briefly. However the experience was very different. I was VERY concerned about how quick she would arrive given that my first labour was pretty quick, despite being back to back. In triage they said I was 2cm but contractions were pretty close and intense. They monitored my blood pressure for an hour or so. Then were talking about sending me home!!! I was like nope, this baby will come fast! Sure enough went to the toilet before heading off to walk the hospital and my water broke. They checked and I was 5cm. Then took ages discussing where to send me. No pain relief and feeling the need to push. They were legitimately concerned I’d give birth in the lift to the labour room. The labour room was dingy and old. After the lovely MLU room, it was a disappointment. There wasn’t even a shower for after! DD2 arrived about an hour after my water broke, at the most. It was way more painful. She literally shot out all at once, after maybe 5 pushes. I had a second degree tear, I think due to the fact her head and shoulders came out in the same push. I had to be wheeled to the postnatal room.

I think the big thing is that I was a bit stressed. I was worried about making it to hospital on time. I was stressed as I didn’t feel listened to regarding the progression and speed of my labour, especially as it wasn’t my first. Finally the atmosphere I laboured in wasn’t very relaxing or comfortable. I also think that if DD2 had been slightly bigger she wouldn’t have flown out resulting in a worse tear.

All in all I know it wasn’t bad but it certainly wasn’t easier! I would say pushing was much quicker!

My first was 32hrs, bad reaction to diamorphone, episiotomy followed by ventouse. My second was a 6hr home water birth.

First labour had forceps delivery, I lost 1,500ml of blood and got sewn up in theatre afterwards for an internal second degree tear and had a blood transfusion the next day.

Second labour had a slight graze and was able to have a shower afterwards. Second birth much easier

First took 31hrs. 8hrs fully dilated, failed ventouse, failed manual rotation, crash cs, pph.

Second was a smaller baby. 38hr labour and went to emcs before we ended up with a repeat of dc1. It was much less painful though.

Both births were very similar in paper, quite long and not especially easy.

BUT the second was so much easier in terms of how I experienced it. This is down to the simple fact that it wasn't my first rodeo. Second time round I knew what to expect, I wasn't so frightened (in the first I quite seriously thought that I might die from the pain) and I felt more confident to advocate for myself.

So, physically very similar, but worlds apart in terms of mental and emotional experience. I was profoundly traumatised after my first. After the second I was bloody relieved it was over but felt really quite proud of myself for how I'd negotiated it. It put a ghost to rest, actually.

First time was 75 hours from waters breaking to birth, back to back, every painkiller available, 4 hours of pushing before they wheeled me off for a c section, however they managed to get him out with forceps at the last minute, but I lost a fair bit of blood.

Second time around, 2 hours from waters breaking to birth, a water birth with only gas and air, and was amazing, a totally different experience.

Mine was. First was back to back contractions on top of each other from the start, went from 4-10cm in an hour so thought yay he’s almost here. I was exhausted from the constant painful contractions. 2 1/2 hours of pushing later, he’s stuck so spinal, ventouse, forceps, shoulder dystocia and finally out. I was totally traumatised.
Second I was having contractions on and off all day, some hurt some didn’t went to bed at 10. Woke at 1.30 with a ‘proper’ contraction. Dh started fannying around. By 2.30 I was like we have to go NOW. Got to mlu at 3.15am and she started running the birth pool. Got in at 3.45 and I started pushing straight away while my dh drank a cup of tea. Dd was born at 4.02. No drugs, midwife totally hands off, wasn’t even checked to see how dilated I was I just cracked on. So so different. No probs apart from she was a bit snuffly because it’d been so quick.

Third was my easiest, then 1st, then 2nd, then 4th, then 5th.

For me, yes. DS2's birth was a dream. Planned home birth, 2 hours 45 minutes start to finish, second stage 4 minutes (compared to an hour and ten minutes for ds1), born in the caul, pain never became unmanagable, no sense of fear. He was latched on and feeding before the cord was cut, he never lost weight, he was a very chilled baby. My recovery was incredible, within days I felt like I hadn't had a baby at all.

1st was back to back, episiotomy and took ages. He just wouldn't come out. Nearly two hours of pushing. Head squashed into a cone shape.
2nd, whole first stage at home with the tens machine, had to have waters broken, but twenty minutes of pushing and he was born. Also because he was the right way round there was no pain in between contractions. He had a lovely round head.
Much easier.