If you had an assisted delivery first time around, what were your subsequent births like?

[MeadowHay]

I had a 30hr labour with DD and only about 4hrs sleep before I woke up with the early labour pains and then couldn't sleep anymore. I ended up having a ventouse delivery with an epi. I know subsequent labours are shorter and you're less likely to have an assisted delivery in subsequent births, however only two people that I know of in my family have had any at all, and one of them is adamant they will have no more children as they're so traumatised by their birth (forceps) - the other had a ventouse delivery, and then a forceps the second time!

I had a 29hr labour with my first, that ended in a ventouse delivery with an episiotomy and a bad tear. Ds was in special care for a week and I had a blood transfusion.

My second (2.8 years later) was 'only' 13 hours, with no assistance. Only a slight graze. It can happen!

Difficult forceps and I requested, and got, an elective section second time round.

I had induction with ventouse with my first.
Second was a home birth & third will hopefully be a home birth too.

I do have very fast labour’s though.

I am likely to have an ELCS too in future, but it does upset me as it's not really my preferred option - obviously my preferred option is a shorter labour, and then a 'natural' birth in the pool, without continuous monitoring that I was told I HAD to have just because I had a growth scan booked...and no epi, or alternatively labour in the pool until I can't bear the pain anymore and have diamorphine, or alternatively not go in the pool at all but have diamorphine and no CTG and be able to feel calmer...I loved the diamorphine but was not offered it until I was 8cm, I found the pain so bad before then that I don't remember all those hours where nobody came to check on me, or DH leaving the room 3 times to request a MW and all never came...my GP says she's confident I would be able to get an ELCS. But it's not really what I want, I'm terrified of that too...but obviously preferably over another awful delivery!

My first was a horror film, I will spare the details.

Second a thing of natural beauty.

I would do the second a million times over for one of the first.

Hideous ventouse birth first time round, every complication imaginable and weeks in hospital.

Second time- Home birth, no more than 4 hours from start to finish. Still had complications but that’s to do with my general internal configuration, not the birth itself.

your description perfectly describes my first birth ....over 36 hours on 2 hours sleep, same interventions etc. it really put me off a 2nd for quite some time.
I eventually decided to have another but was very nervous of delivery...discussed elective c section... especially as v big baby. However It was a totally different experience... my waters broke spontaneously after a lovely family day out just after 7pm with no contractions...arrived hospital at 9pm 4cm dilated & delivered a just shy of 10lb baby standing up just before 1am. no assistance, no stitches! fast! it was awesome! so different than my first... so it does and can happen!
good luck whatever you decide!

First delivery: spinal anaesthetic, failed ventouse, forceps, big PPH, long recovery

Second delivery: unassisted, entenox, small PPH, short recovery, but oh my God I was not prepared for how much the last bit hurt!!

Awful 36 hour first delivery with episiotomy and ventouse.

Second birth was easy, 6 hours water birth with gas and air. Episiotomy scar ripped a bit but no where near as bad. Didn't even have to go to post natal ward, discharged from labour ward.

Both mine were induced and required ventouse and episiotomy. Both pretty ghastly, second one much less long than the first.

First - ventouse, 30 hr labour, episiotomy, epidural, second degree tear, Lost 1 litre of blood

Second - drug free home birth, water birth, no pain relief, small 1st degree tear - no stitches. It was wonderful.

I used hypnobirthing - the positive birth company digital pack.

Part of the reason I only have 15 months between my first two children, was because the experience I had with my first was so horrific, with every intervention imaginable, that I knew I would never have another if had to analyse it all too much! He was back to back and 9lbs 8 and I had a 40 hour labour - the only thing that didn't happen was a CS. They were prepping me for one when the consultant had 'one last go' to drag him out, with forceps which worked.

My subsequent 3 babies were all born without any pain relief at all, not even gas and air, in very calm and relatively quick order.

Ventouse with episiotomy (classic cascade of intervention) with dc1 after two days of labour. Had an epidural in so not painful. Had a PPH and passed out briefly afterwards. Wasn't traumatised by it, though - had very good care during it all. (The bf support afterwards, by contrast...).
Last-minute ventouse with dc2 (after quick labour - arrived at hospital at 9cm and he was born half an hour later) due to fetal distress (cord round his neck). Second-degree tear. No pain relief. The ventouse didn't actually make it more painful. Worst bit was the stitching of the tear.
Induction followed by very precipitous labour (2cm to birth in 20 min) with dc3. Born in two pushes in her waters. First-degree tear. No pain relief. Obviously very painful while it lasted but I walked home from hospital with her in the sling 4 hours later.

If you had an epi first time around, did you need an epi again in subsequent ones, and if not did you tear in the place you had an epi? That's another worry, I found my epi not painful to have done because she gave me a local for it and I was already in pain from everything going on, and focusing on pushing, but I found the stitches, despite many local anasesthetic injections, extremely painful (I remember yelling, crying, etc whilst getting stitched, it was excrutiating and the doctor seemed concerned and unsure why I was suffering from it so much), and then very painful for at least a few weeks afterwards in terms of walking, sitting, washing the area etc, I then had a small complication that set me back again at about 5 weeks PP when a tiny bit of the wound was still open after the stitches dissolved which caused me pain again for another week or so til it healed up. The thought of another, or of tearing in the same place or whatever is also a worry.

I have requested a birth debrief with PALS but have been told that the consultant midwife who does them all will be in touch in the new year, however I really want the doctor who did my delivery to be there, I asked for her and they ignored my request so I've responded explaining why I want her then and no response yet (I really liked the doctor despite finding the experience traumatic).

The ventouse was worse than I expected it to be tbh. I was terrified of an instrumental delivery but I was struggling so much with pushing and also terrified of a EMCS so I agreed (although tbh not sure I would have agreed to forceps because I was wavering when she was talking to me about it but who knows), because of worries about continence later down the line etc, but the actual procedure was much worse than I imagined - not the pulling her out, which wasn't bad, it was the initial part of her feeling about for what felt like AGES, at least twice, to check baby's position, and then inserting and applying the instrument etc it was really excrutiating for me. I couldn't use G&A as it just made me instantly vomit, and the diamorphine will have worn off by then. I don't think she gave me a local for the procedure but I know RCOG guidelines are to have a local, and it wasn't an emergency so maybe I just don't remember that part. And the stitching was also much more painful than I expected as I expected I would be numb from locals if I had stitches, but I wasn't! One of the things that terrifies me about the prospect of an ELCS is the spinal or whatever not working and me being able to feel the procedure, because I seem to react weirdly to anaesthetic/have a high tolerance to it, based on my stitching experience, and previous dental ones.

Also on the NHS website it mentiones the obstetrician "gently pulling" the baby out. DH said the dr was pulling so hard with the ventouse that the bed was being pulled across the floor, and the dr had her entire body weight like pulling back with it, he said he found it really shocking and stressful watching that (I didn't notice any of this!) . Is that normal for an assisted delivery? She did call the consultant in after the 2nd pull, she explained the next day that she did that because they give themselves 3 pulls and after the 2nd pull DD hadn't descended as much as she'd expected her to, so I guess they were worried she wasn't going to come out in 3 and perhaps would have moved to me theatre to try forceps and/or EMCS? Eek, I count my lucky starts she came out, I feel for people who had a failed ventouse and then forceps and/or even failed forceps and a section in the end .

First time - long labour, ventouse (because they broke waters and found meconium so wanted baby out) and episiotomy with only a local anaesthetic for the epi and some gas and air (Pethidine had worn off by then and I didn’t think it helped much with pain anyway). Yes I do think they pull quite strongly to get the baby out - DD had a very odd shaped head after and I had to take her to a cranial osteopath to get things sorted out.

Second time - home birth, very relaxed, no problems, no internal examinations, no tearing, no stitches.

Third time - home birth, very quick, some tearing probably because I delivered too quickly and yes stitches were painful ... but it’s all a distant memory now

1st was induction, long labour and horrible forceps.
2nd (3 years later) was induced but a lovely labour and short (6 hours from waters being broken, no
Drip) though needed ventouse at last minute due to baby turning and getting wedged.
3rd- late baby (8 days over) but no induction and no assisted delivery. PPH after placenta got stuck though.
4th- late again but not induced. Massive baby (nearly 11lb) and forceps.

I’ve stopped now!

Here ventouse too. After a 27-hour labour, drip because my contractions went as soon as I found out I was in labour. Epi too.

Dc2: born just three days ago in the German version of an MLU without pain relief after a 10.5-hour labour, with my midwife there all the way through from about lunchtime. Initially in the bath but had to come out as he got stuck because I've got a small pelvis and he had big shoulders.
I can't stress the importance of you as a prospective mother getting to know your midwife and vice versa before the big day. She still basically blames herself for screwing up my first birth. And the woman is going on retirement soon.
This time, she recognised the signs of me feeling unconsciously uncomfortable (contractions went completely once she put me on the CTG in the room where it all went wrong last time and then again in another room as soon as she got the monitor out, so she abandoned the monitor).

I hope I can do it again with her (and ob). Only once anymore though.

My tear with dc2 was at my episiotomy site, but they both healed very well. The stitching was unpleasant to say the least - worse than the actual tear (which tbh i didn't really notice as a separate event iyswim) - but they did inject some kind of local anaesthetic, and with that and a MW holding my hand it was bearable. (I was on my own - dh was outside with 2yo ds1 at this point - they'd only been planning to drop me and come back later (we'd all gone in on the bus!), until it transpired that I was much further along than I'd thought, at which point they stayed put and waited).

First: induced due to water breaking and no labour. 18 hours on the drip. Epidural. Ended up with forceps and and an episiotomy that became infected.

Second: induced as overdue. 10 hour total labour with gas and air only. Vaginal birth with no intervention and a tiny tear that required no stitches.

Second labour obviously more painful but was a much more positive experience.

My first labour was induced as I was 2 weeks over. I think I got to about 2cm dilated when my midwife discovered accidentally that I had a cord prolapse and all hell broke loose! I was rushed off for an emergency c with the midwife up on the bed with me as she was holding the cord. I was knocked out and my dd was born about 5 minutes later. I had a severe pph so had to have several blood transfusions and then on iron for a year.
Fast forward to 2006 when I was pregnant again with ds. I wanted a vbac and my consultant reluctantly agreed. I went into very slow labour so went to the hospital, they kept me in for a day but nothing was happening so the senior mw discharged me telling me to come back when my contractions were more regular etc. My dh wasn't happy with this and told another mw who agreed to check me over and put the foetal heart monitor on before I left. Turns out ds was in distress, his heart rate was low so I got rushed off for another emergency section.
I had another pph but thankfully ds was fine.

I would have loved a third baby but I think I would have been pushing our luck! Dh was snipped so no chance of any more dramas!!

*Is that normal for an assisted delivery?" My Dr had one foot braced on the bed!

mortified I think my dr might have too, can't remember exactly what DH said.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I am busy chasing up my birth debrief. I really wanted it to be with the doctor that did my delivery - but apparently she no longer works there! Now I wish I had it sooner (DD is 6 months). I'm really upset because anyone else I have it with will not have been involved in my care at all, they will know nothing about me, they weren't there, all they will have to go on is my notes which in at least one place was not accurate - I remember my postnatal notes merrily saying that my pain was "well-managed" every time a MW on the postnatal ward checked me, even though I was in severe pain and constantly asking if there was any more painkillers I could have . Why would they even write that?? Tbh I'm not even use there is any point in having the debrief at all now, with a stranger whose sole role will be to try and minimise reputational damage/any chance of me attempting to sue the trust - not that I am saying I have any kind of case, as I'm pretty sure I don't, but that's essentially the role of this special midwife who does the debriefs .

I had a horrific delivery with my first. Very long and painful induction ending in a forceps delivery and large pph followed by 3 life saving transfusions. I ended up with ptsd and had to have several months of therapy to recover.

I just had my second baby and it couldn’t have been more different. Had my waters broken in hospital due to reduced movement and I was already 4cm dilated at the time (9 days overdue) and was in labour for 1.5 with a 5 min pushing stage. No pph and just a small tear. I felt incredible this time compared to last time and it has been very healing.

Episiotomy and ventouse with my first. No interventions and just a small tear with my 2nd because she had her elbow up next to her ear. Only had G&A for both but pain was significantly worse the first time (syntocinon).