If you didn’t have an epidural by choice

[KirstenRaymonde]

Would you mind talking to me about why you made that choice? The main by of advice I’ve had from my DM my whole life about childbirth is ‘just get the epidural’ so I’ve never questioned that obviously I would do that, it didn’t really occur to me until reading these boards that anyone wouldn’t choose one!

Everyone told me to ask for an epidural immediately too. I wanted to limit pain relief, no interventions, and epidural as last resort, because I didn't like the risks of complicating the labour further. I really wanted a water birth so any of these would not have made it possible.

In the end I went 2 weeks overdue, waters broke without going into labour, baby was positioned back to back, labour was induced but pain was unbearable. I had every pain relief available, and caved and asked for the epidural at only 4cm dilated. Baby had to be delivered by emcs. So really nothing went to plan.

Next time I would still try to go without but if I thought it was going to be difficult I would ask for the epidural much earlier than I did. I think I waited an hour and I could only get through every contraction by thinking it would be the last one, and it wasn't 😥.

Having said all that, the epidural worked miracles for the pain, and I recovered well after. And the emcs was the best part. I felt really looked after by the team, they made the birth feel really special and were really exited for me even though they'd already done several cesareans that day!

I was coping with the pain so didn't feel the need for an epidural. I was very open to it though, I wanted to avoid pethidine and the likes at all costs as it makes you feel very much out of it. If my labour would have lasted longer or I wouldn't have coped with the pain I would have gone for an epidural without hesitation.

I accept that was my experience but it was also what the NCT, my yoga teacher and DM all said. I had contractions for more than 12 hours but active labour (eg >4cm dilated with contractions closer than 10 minutes apart) was 9 hours the first time and 4 the second. Contraction less than 3 minutes apart was 2-3 hours first time and less than an hour 2nd time. I am truly sorry that others had worse experiences but I do think my labours were fairly standard and were pretty much what I expected. Yes those last couple of hours are tough, but knowimg that I was going be able to get up afterwards and not have any of the epidural complications made it worth it for me.

The midwife at my antenatal classes put me off wanting one tbh, I was terrified of needing interventions such as forceps and an episiotomy. In the end my labour progressed quickly and I wouldn't have had time for one anyway. I laboured in the pool and then gave birth on a bed with just a bit of gas and air. I will try to do the same again for my next baby, but I'm not opposed to having an epi if I feel I can't cope with the pain.

I actually gave birth on my back and found it to be a good position for me, I absolutely did not find being on my knees or standing up comfortable so everyone is different in that respect also.