If you didn’t have an epidural by choice

[KirstenRaymonde]

Would you mind talking to me about why you made that choice? The main by of advice I’ve had from my DM my whole life about childbirth is ‘just get the epidural’ so I’ve never questioned that obviously I would do that, it didn’t really occur to me until reading these boards that anyone wouldn’t choose one!

Partly because I was worried about an additional headache on top of a lifetime of migraines, mostly because of gravity and positioning.

Disclaimer: I only had one child in hospital. The other three at home so epidural not an option.

I would also like to add that labour pain was only unbearable for me at times when I couldn't move freely, like being on the bed for monitoring or a notable time where I went for a wee without the gas and air, or when I was stuck on the couch, or in the bath at hospital.

For me giving birth wasn't a medical process or procedure. I've given birth 6 times. Most with no drugs of any description.

But it's good to know we can choose, how to manage how we give birth.
Whatever works for you!

I didn't set out to have an epidural, but needing to have the drip to speed things up put paid to that. However, I got to 7cm with no pain relief and 9cm just with gas and air. The epidural was because I was so tired and worried I wouldn't be have the strength to push. As it was I could actually still feel the contractions so could tell when to push but without the pain.
My only advice would be to go with an open mind, that way you have no/less feelings of disappointment if it doesn't work out how you wanted.

Had one with my first but not with my second. All the advice says it can make your labour last longer but mine was about 7hours which is shorter than average for a first.

Wanted one for my first because I thought it would be so painful. However, having experienced excruciating period pains for years, I found it wasn't much worse than them. Just went on for longer. But it was still an immense relief when the pain of contractions stopped. It was a bit odd trying to push the baby out , with absolutely no sensation ...

The pushing bit was better second time round, with no pain relief, as I could feel what I was doing.

No catheter for me

I ended up with one for DC1 as needed the hormone drip to be cranked up quite high to help get some strong contractions. I really didn't want one as worried about assisted delivery.

Not sure if this was the reason but as I couldn't push effectively, baby eventually got stuck and I needed a spinal and forceps. Was pretty horrible.

DC2&3 I didn't have one, no assistance needed and almost instant recovery (bar the hobbling!)

Have you considered hypnobirthing? Worth looking into, effective breathing definitely helped me - also try and remember that not all birth stories are bad, things may not go to plan and a friend who had a similar experience to my first actually found it 'relaxing'!!

I had a last minute spinal with my first as was rushed to surgery due to failure to progress and almost had a c section but forceps worked in the end.

Second time I wanted as little intervention as possible and to feel in control. I really believe my first labour would not have ended as it did if I had not felt so scared and out of control. I wanted to be able to feel everything and to follow my body's cues. My labour was so much better and recovery was a lot faster.

I was open minded to pain relief and although excrutiating managed quite well on gas and air for most of the labour

Unusually I think my panic happened during the pushing stage at I hit a wall and thought something was wrong (apparently it wasn’t but pushing takes longer than I thought!) The pain became unbearable at that point but midwives explained epidural wasn’t a good idea as baby would be there by the time it was sorted and they were right.

I gave birth standing up after pushing on all fours and I think it would have been much harder on my back

Most of this is rubbish. I had an epidural, could feel to push, no catheter, could move my legs etc. And it wore off just as the baby arrived. It just took the pain away, which was a blessed blessed relief. I even slept during labour which was amazing. I had just gas and air in my first labour, and an epidural with my second and it was like night and day. I would most definitely advise anyone to have one, why not take pain relief for the most painful experience of your life??

A few reasons for me...

I didn't want any drugs in mine or babies system if I could avoid it.

I didn't believe that childbirth would be so painful that you would need to be completely numb from the waste down dispite this being what everyone told me (and it wasn't)

It would make me feel less in control.

I believe it would lead to a more likely chance of interventions such as ventose or episiotomy which I really didn't want.

I wanted to be back in control of my body the moment baby was out.
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Consequently I went on to have 2 vaginal births, both in a birthing pool, one in mlu and one at home so no option of epidural anyway. Delivered 8lb14 and 9lb6 with gas and air and no stitches.

Child birth does hurt, there is no avoiding that without an epidural...but it is COMPLETELY manageable.

Many people like to pedal the "child birth is the most traumatic thing ever" story, but there are many people that don't feel this way, they just don't talk about it as much as are often called liars, lucky, braggers etc

Honestly, it is such a personal choice, there will be myriad reasons why a woman will want / not want an epidural. There is no right or wrong.

For me personally I wanted to avoid intervention as much as possible. I had planned a water birth at MLU but was consultant led in the end (although didn't actually see one when giving birth) due to some of my blood results in late pregnancy. Then my waters broke before labour started and so I ended up being induced via the hormone drip. This wasn't really what I wanted as it limited my options for an active labour quite considerably and I didn't want to limit it further by being bed bound.

I laboured using a TENS machine for pain relief, which was great. I DID tell the midwife at one point that I wanted an epidural, but in the next breath I told her I wanted to push, at which point she examined me and I was fully dilated. I think the epidural "panic" was transition (and it bloody well hurt too at that point to be truthful). My labour was quick so I feel very lucky on that front. 11am waters broke, some sporadic contractions over night and into the next morning, and then I went on the drip at 1pm the next day and baby came 4.5 hrs later (1.5 hrs pushing). Possibly if I had had a very long birth I would have had that epidural.

I'm expecting again and already hoping for my MLU birth, but I am open minded and would never rule out an epidural, as - like I alluded to above - every birth is different so next time I might feel I need one.

Because of the increased risk of needing intervention with an epidural. Of course not every woman who has an epidural will need intervention, but the facts are that there is an increased risk.
Also, I wanted to be home as soon as possible! I think you have to stay in for at least 12 hours if you have an epidural. I had a 3 hour discharge with both of mine and it was great (for me, I know not everyone would like it).
As with everything, it’s personal choice. If id have needed one I’d have had one, but the plan was always to not have one if I didn’t feel I needed it.

My plan was not to get an epidural due to a rare complication that runs in my family - local anaesthetics don't work on some of us and others need a stronger dose.
I initially said I didn't want one as I am generally in the latter category but didn't want to risk being in the former.
Ended up asking for one when DS went OP ... and it didn't work.
They were seriously talking about giving me a general anaesthetic as I needed an emergency section.
Thankfully a second stronger one worked but took longer to wear off.

To be honest, I just didn't want one. I guess I just thought gas and air would be enough. I was lucky my labours were short.

I didn’t plan to have one. However I’d been induced, was in massive pain from back to back labour and was barely progressing, needed pain relief so it made sense as I was getting increasingly more likely to need a c section. I did have a section but as already had epidural in they just topped that up during the surgery, no need for spinal block.

Apart from the increased chance of intervention, I needed to recover asap. I wasn't frightened by pain but I was scared about how I'd manage on my own if I had a more complex birth. So anything that reduced the chance of that was important to me.

I didn’t have one mainly because in the end there wasn’t time to site one and at the point my where I thought I should have hand one I also knew that I wouldn’t have been capable of sitting still for long enough.

But I didn’t really want one anyway for a couple of reasons. First being the increased likelihood of interventions- I didn’t want to end up as one of those horror stories where forceps get used and you end up needing to be more or less completely re-constituted afterward. I’m aware that not every forceps birth is like that, but it would have been just my luck!! The second reason was that I didn’t want to be restricted to the position I could give birth in. I was adamant I wanted to be upright. Turns out that being upright makes baby press down harder and consequently it hurts more. So I gave birth laid on my back- exactly how I said I didn’t want to! But the main reason that stuck in my head for not wanting one was the fact that I’d either have to be catheterised or use a bed pan once it was in. Oh and the fact that my ex best friend once came out with the statement “it’s a good job you’ve lost that baby (!!) because you’d never have been able to stick the pain of giving birth. Even I needed an epidural and I have a very high pain threshold!”. Not the most scientific reason but it felt like one final, huge “fuck you” to her!

I wanted as natural a birth as possible so I felt more in control, so I had two unmedicated home (water) births. For me, this was the best option, as I felt calm and comfortable in my own home, and felt I could listen to my body and go along with it. An epidural to me turns a natural process into a medical treatment, and further interventions are then more likely. I didn't want to go down that route unless absolutely necessary (baby unsafe). Also the thought of someone putting a needle in my spine is horrific!

My back is already in bits and I didn't want to risk making it worse and I have the jitters about feeling numb. Manager both times on gas and air with giant babies. 27 weeks and plan to gas and air it again.

Because I wanted to see if I could.

Wanted to go home straight after I’d given birth, (which I did), and I bet my partner who hates olives that if I gave birth with no pain relief he would eat 5 olives. I’m stubborn so had no pain relief he’s only eaten 2 of the 5 olives so far, but I spring one on him when he least expects it.

Mostly though I didn’t really realise how far along I was, neither did the midwife, so it was never offered.

I wanted a completely natural birth which for me, meant epidural.

How much of a twat I was

Still didn't learn my lesson with dc2 though

Meant no epidural**

I really wanted to avoid forceps and I knew an epidural meant a higher risk of instrumental birth because the pelvic floor muscles cannot do their job.

In the end, both DD1 was born in the birth pool and DD2 was born on a birth mat with gas and air. DD1's birth was one of the most profound, empowering moments in my adult life. 😍

It didn't occur to me that I would need one
I didn't want that much intervention and I didn't want to risk loss of feeling

It would have had to be an emergency for me to consider an epidural
I had gas and air with my first as there was no time for pethidine and then nothing with my second as there was no time even for gas and air