Things they're not telling you about vaginal birth..

[Viola82]

Just wondering what expecting mother should know about the natural birth and AFTER it please?
There is so much info about c-section and recovery after, but what about recovery after the natural birth? Even the vanilla standard one with no complications ect?
please don't sugercoat, write it as it is

I had a vaginal birth of DD who was just over 9lb with a 98th percentile head circumference!!!

I had diamorphine and Entonox and I'm not going to lie...it hurt!!

However I only had a very tiny grade 2 tear (couple of stitches), peeing hurt and I had to do the whole squatting over the toilet and could only completely empty my bladder by doing the above mentioned toilet yoga forward leaning move, as a HCP I was very aware of the consequences of incomplete emptying and was desperate to avoid a urinary tract infection.

I was dreading my first poop and had built it up in my head to be a massive thing, I ate a lot of dried apple in the days after the birth and so when I did finally poop it was actually not that bad at all. I had slight haemorrhoids for a while after the birth but now 4 months later they seem to have settled down.

I had a physiological (no drugs) third stage of labour and lost a reasonably significant volume of blood (so I'm told) I don't remember being shock my the amount of blood, but I'm a paramedic so have seen blood and delivered babies before, so probably not the best person to give an opinion on this. The midwife who walk with me to the bathroom, commented on how steady I was on my feet and how well I looked. I had had hyperemesis and been nauseous for the entire pregnancy, so felt on top of the world once DD was out

I was out walking the dog the day after the birth (as soon as I got home from hospital) I was slow but only in mild discomfort and I managed a 1 1/4 hour car journey to see ILs quite comfortably 2 days after the birth, just sitting on one pillow.

Went to the climbing wall when DD was 2 weeks old, but would have gone sooner (but visitors etc took priority), and felt fine. Been running again for about a month now, with no leaks.

The weirdest thing for me after my vaginally birth was standing for the first time. My stomach felt so strange and heavy, it went down so quick but was so loose and just felt very odd.
Walking to the bath to take a shower and then standing in the shower was strange I felt like I had to hold my stomach up.

Had an episiotomy as well as babies head couldn't squeeze it's way out, it took about an hour for the midwife to do it and it felt odd being led with my legs in the air for so long whilst she was down there doing her thing and having a good old conversation.
Healing wasn't too bad after but hurt for about 3 weeks and I needed to sit on a pillow. It could have been partly my fault for being so active I couldn't stay still or sit in the house had to be out and about.

That you'll have little bubbles pop for the first few days

I have to be honest reading other people's replies has made me realise how lucky I was. I had forceps and epiostomy first time round with a spinal block, I was up and about the next day, felt a bit of pulling around where the stitches were but nothing too bad, didn't need pain killers or anything and recovered fairly quickly. Second dc was just under 10 lb, not a single tear, up in an hour of two after giving birth having a shower. Had some heavy bleeding after both but nothing too bad. So not all bad for everyone, and yes I know I must have been lucky!!

Not much to add as pretty much all been said but I thing I didn’t realise is you feel like you had a full body work out! Muscle ache 😩

"That you'll have little bubbles pop for the first few days"

No stitches or tear but I did 'graze' on one side of inner labia. Stung.

The iron tablets Dr gave me gave me awful constipation and piles during pregnancy. I would cry in pain. Skin tags left from piles.

First, walk, first poo, first shag all felt like my insides would fall out.

I've actually read the full thread and am wondering why the hell im doing this to myself for a fourth time!! and haven't got much to add except I don't think my experiences were that bad, though I definitely agree with the horrible feeling of standing upright again after giving birth; the intensely painful afterpains; and having to perch on one bum cheek after an episiotomy. Oh and my thighs were in agony for days as I'd spent a long time on the birthing ball in early labour.

Wrt pooing- I held a wedge of tissue to the stitches to support them so I didn't feel like I was going to rip them open, and I had no issues (luckily!)

For me it was the soreness, I knew I would be sore, but not THAT sore!

Also the itching from the stitches, my god that was frustrating. I had to sit on a bollard to discreetly (probably not that discreetly) scratch myself when on a family outing about a week after giving birth .

Stitches were the worst, and maybe more so because I thought the bad bit was over having got the baby out.

I was unlucky with piles and had two thrombosed haemhorroids, they were pain like I'd never experienced. Get straight to the doctor and get some lidocaine cream if you have them, it worked far better to numb them than messing around with anusol etc.

And a week after giving birth to dd2 I was on a bouncy castle with no issues so everyone is different. Wishing you best of luck OP.

About how important pelvic floor exercises are after giving birth for the short term as well as the long term. Stomach muscle issues!

Ah the first poo. I obviously hadn't done my homework and hen the nurse said afterwards "don't be afraid to poo" I thought "why the hell would I be afraid? Ive just had a baby come out...how bad can a little poo be?"

Three days and many attempts later I finally managed it. It was agony. Like a brick.

Baby#2 I was prepared: I made lots of oatmeal & dried apricot biscuits: oatmeal to get the milk in, apricots for iron (blood loss) and fibre. No issues pooing at all. Mind you, he came out more easily: #1 was ventouse and episiotomy.

I was shocked at the lochia. I thought one pack of pads would be plenty hahaha. Try one pack A DAY. Plus some pampers care mats to go under you for when they leak. For the first week. Though with #2 I had a retained placenta and they cleared me out in surgery so a lot less second time round.

Make sure you take it easy. I was determined to carry on like nothing had happened. After about 2 weeks I started bleeding again, fresh blood, as I was doing too much.

Sex....first time we did it after (post 6 week check) I cried as I couldn't feel a thing. That improved over time though.

Long term damage was a cystocele which I have decided to live with as I'm not really incontinent and can manage (though trampolining or sneezing while walking is out) and a rectocele which I had repaired 4 years later. The surgery hurt like buggery (literally) but I'm good now: can poo normally and go for a run without feeling like I'm going to shit myself. Very glad I did that.

Don't believe people who tell you if you Kegel the crap out of things your pelvic floor will heal/not be damaged. You may avoid damage....but luck has a bigger role to play. Kegels cant fix serious pelvic floor damage and mangled tissues. Nobody tells you an abdominal hernia will fix itself if only you did enough sit ups, and I just don't see why this is really any different. They might help a bit so by all means do them (and I do) but they are not magic.

Push your GP for referral for surgery if you are prolapsed. There's this weird attitude "yeah it happens....live with it" but many times it can be fixed.

I have had 3 children and cannot emphasise enough the difference an experienced midwife makes. They know how to guide the baby out, so you will be far less likely to tear Qualified midwives wear a different colour uniform from the students. Students have to learn, but it shouldn't be on first time mums, so do ask for a qualified midwife.
I am a coward about pain so always opted for an epidural, which meant that labour was pain free.
My pattern is to go in and out of labour for quite a time, so for my second and third baby I stayed at home for as long as possible and didn't ask for the epidural until I was almost ready to push.
The benefits of a natural labour are that you recover quickly and it is usually better for the baby.

Support any stitches with a wad of loo roll when you go for a poo. Water tastes like elixir of the gods after the birth and you may drink loads of it and also sweat like mad.
Its bliss to have a full bladder at night without it being bashed by a baby's head.
Wear comfy clothes...maybe not tight jeans.
There's a chance that a few days after the birth your belly button seems to reattach itself to your abdominal wall.
Lochia may be loads, disgusting, not so much, smelly, not smelly, light, different colours, take 6 weeks to go or go in one week. In other words it differs per person but seek help if it doesn't seem right.
You can tear up, down, left, right or centre.
When you are told to wait and not push, this is to help your birth canal stretch and not tear (too much hopefully) so listen!
I had a forceps birth. I found a long soak in the bath a couple of weeks after the birth was completely the wrong thing to do and found I was in tearful agony afterwards.

I didn't get stitches; it was painful but once baby was born I got up to wash myself; I nearly fainted though so should have waited. I recovered quickly.

Second baby was vaginal too; it was even more painful but again not tearing and it took me nearly 2 hours to get up. I was completely wasted as the midwife tried to control when I breath in the gas and air so it didn't work.

I don't remember the recovery much so I guess it was ok, I do remember giving birth though.

Oh I thought night sweats and squatting to pee was just me!

I used tena lady pants and maxi pads together. It was needed!

And 100% yes about poos! I was terrified, it hurt almost more than labour. Had to hold my vagina with a cool cloth for fear of it falling out! Took this picture with my first after emergency c section and had a giggle but referred to it repeatedly for my second!

Oh yeah! Night sweats! That's something to do with withdrawal of pregnancy hormones. SO CLAMMY

Like many mums the iron tablets caused me to become constipated. I complained to my GP and he prescribed a different brand. I didn't have any problems with constipation after that.

Apparently, doctors always prescribe the cheapest first and if the patient doesn't complain they presume that it is ok.
If constipation continues to be a problem try sprinkling 2 tablespoons of Linseed seeds on your breakfast cereal - works well and is really yummy!

The only advice I can add is to be prepared for it to become a c section. I had never even thought about the possibility and the 2 hrs after going into hospital I was In theatre. With the exception of tearing, all the things I've read still apply. Heavy bleeding (like more than should be possible), horrific first, second and third poos, deflated stomach and everything else are all symptoms of having a baby not vaginal birth.

No one told me you could TEAR YOUR FUCKING CLITORIS.

Thank fuck I looked my ob in the eye and said, I am not pushing this baby out until I get an epi...

and thank fuck I chose an ob who sewed like a granny - exquisite needlework....with me saying..."now make SURE you do a good job! that bit is PRETTY important!" I owe him every orgasm since....