Things they're not telling you about vaginal birth..

[Viola82]

Just wondering what expecting mother should know about the natural birth and AFTER it please?
There is so much info about c-section and recovery after, but what about recovery after the natural birth? Even the vanilla standard one with no complications ect?
please don't sugercoat, write it as it is

Two births with one stitch each so I was very lucky not to have any pain sitting, peeing or pooing and bits look just the same.

What I didn't realise this time round was even though I feel completely normal, going for a run 12 days postpartum was a terrible idea and I felt I was peeing myself the whole time 😳

I didn't have most of this.

I could wee like a horse afterwards (hold it for hours before had to go).
No piles. Poos not special. Bits no worse than tender to sit on.

The only surprise for me was after pains -- 2nd & later baby surprise.

My skin went really dry and almost papery-feeling.

Oh I suppose that's not particular to vaginal birth though!

For me it was the size of clots. I passed one in the toilet that was the size of a tennis ball. I had a panic attack and a midwife had to check to reassure me that it was normal 😂

I was fine with my first 2 kids but with my last one I got an infection and was losing lots of "slime" along with the blood which stank to high heaven. I also ended up with a slight rectal prolapse which makes it hard to poo as there is a slight kink in the wall of the rectum and I get a bit of bulging out of the anus which I have to push back in

How much you bleed! I wasn’t prepared for that!

But.......how good I’d feel. I’ve had 3 and honestly, I felt fine afterwards. I was very lucky to have relatively uncomplicated births but I was surprised at how quickly I recovered. I’d been told so many horror stories that I though I’d be half dead for weeks afterwards (not dismissing those who do have a terrible time, obvs, I just think people are more keen on telling you dreadful labour stories when you’re pregnant).

Also, don’t go on a zip wire 2 weeks after a second degree tear. Not my finest moment.

I was told that once the baby comes out the pain stops. Nope. For me, as soon as the baby was out the pain became absolutely excruciating around my lower abdomen/vagina for about an hour, I was crying out in pain. Then it began to ease slowly, then it just went. Has anyone else experienced that? Is it afterpains?

Best tips: take arnica tablets from a couple of weeks before birth until two weeks after. Helped me lots. Also, have a jug of warm water with a few drops of lavender oil to help you pee the first few times.

My after pains were bad with first (but I had a tiny bit of placenta that got 'missed') and non-existent with DC after that.

So I gave birth 4 months ago and I approached it very much “fingers in ears” because I didn’t want to be scared 😂. It might not have been the best approach but it did mean that I didn’t have to listen to the horror stories of what happens to 1% of very unfortunate women! Thankfully I had a very straightforward vaginal delivery on gas and air with a second degree tear. The stitches for the tear hurt when they went in, but let’s face it, you’ve just pushed a baby out and they do numb you and offer gas and air so it probably isn’t as painful as you would expect it to be having someone stick a needle in your fanny. They gave me a diclofenac suppository at the same time. Best. Thing. Ever.

What I wanted to know was why the hell they couldn’t sodding numb my fanny for the crowning bit? That stung like a mother. Oh and don’t stop pushing when it stings. Stinging is good, it means the baby is seriously close to arriving. But if you stop when it stings you’ll only have to push through the stinging again next time, and the time after that. Until you put your metaphorical big girl pants on and push through it. This is honestly the only bit of advice I wish I had known before giving birth!

The weird sensation of the cord still being attached inside you when your baby is on your chest. Very strange. Also the weird feeling of someone actually rummaging round inside you to work out if the placenta has started to come away yet.

The bleeding was on an absolutely monumental scale. And totally normal! I too had a midwife check my blood loss because I thought I was haemorrhaging. I wasn’t. But if you’re worried they don’t mind looking at bloody fannies you know- rather that than bleed out! And stitches. Midwives love checking stitches. It’s like they enjoy giving you a run down of how it will never look normal again 😂

I’m going out on a limb to say do look down there. Check it out in the first few days and if anything feels weird later on, have a look. Then if you have a concern you can describe what you think has changed. Just don’t expect it to be pretty!

The afterpains. I thought I was dying. Turns out that it bloody hurts when something goes from the size of a watermelon to the size of a walnut in two weeks. These will be worse if you’re breastfeeding and they will probably be accompanied by flooding. You will also likely get to a point where all of a sudden your pregnancy pants are too big. It’s just because your uterus has shrunk right back. But it’s annoying nonetheless because despite this you probably still can’t fit into pre-pregnancy pants and the ones you do have are too big so you need in between ones. Which you won’t go and get because you have a newborn chuffing baby for God’s sake.

Oh and don’t forget that aside from the fact that you have just pushed a baby out, you will essentially have a wound about 6-8 inches long on the inside of your uterus. This takes time to heal. Don’t get to day 2 and assume that the surge of energy you have means it’s ok to go all out cleaning. Give your head a wobble and go to bed, and stay there! For a week!! I wish I had listened to this advice!

We didn’t have sex until after my 6 week check but I felt like I could have done it before then, but actually I’m quite glad we didn’t because I think I needed the time to heal and not worry! I feel like everything is a bit looser down there now, husband says it feels the same and I’ve demanded he be honest several times! It actually feels better for me now. No idea why but it’s like I have more sensation! Weird but I’ll take that positive!

I pee myself a little bit if I have a bad cough. And if my bladder is super full and I was to jump up and down I can’t guarantee I’d be able to hold it, but it is getting better. I also find that whilst I can still hold it for ages and ages, the “holy crap I need a wee” feeling comes on much more suddenly now!

I didn’t have most of these either. With my oldest I was admittedly, terrified to poo. I held it for quite a few days, but had been eating dried apricots and had a mild curry and it was actually fine. With my 2nd it was completely fine!

Peeing wasn’t an issue either thank goodness.

I had two very straightforward vaginal births. Water births for both. No tearing. I did demand to know when to stop pushing and ‘pant’ as I was PETRIFIED of tearing!

I would highly recommend the book ‘Birth Skills’ by Juju Sundin which completely changed the way I viewed the birth.

I do second witch hazel and arnica pills too!

Oh I’m not sure if it makes a difference, but I had no pain relief at all with either of mine. I felt completely in control the whole time.

I did make some very weird noises while I was pushing which I couldn’t replicate now for the life of me (thankfully...!)

I didn't know until I had my first that you could tear internally as well as externally. I was surprised at how painful milk coming in was, and how it made me all feverish too.

I've had one forceps birth and one CS. Recoveries completely different (CS recovery much easier) but the one thing they had in common was the fear of the first poo. I was just fearing that a different part of my body would fall out each time!

I also think it's right to have a small amount of apprehension about childbirth. There's so much focus on natural birth and hyponbirthing, which I'm not knocking at all, but we should all know that birth is one of the most dangerous things we can do.

I was offered ibuprofen straight after birth, agreed to it and they did not give it orally. That surprise is the only clear memory i have from my first labour.

I actually screamed like a banshee the first time I tried to go for a poo. I nearly passed out from the pain.

Once it was softened enough, I didn't even get to the toilet quick enough

I had to sit on one side of my bum for 2 weeks, was so sore I couldn't actually sit properly.

I pretty much pissed myself everyday for 2 weeks. I genuinely thought I'd be wearing adult nappies for life at 27

Drink lots of water to dilute your urine- then peeing isn't as painful.

Do not be tempted to use sanitary towels (instead of maternity) they irritate your fanjo like nothing else!

Nothing prepared me for how much sitting I would be doing whilst feeding my newborn, on my nice swollen vagina. There's a design flaw there somewhere

I had a very bad tear and I genuinely couldn’t wipe, but had to dab every time I had a wee for 5 weeks. I tore into my bum cheek which I didn’t even know was possible. I also couldn’t lie down for the first 2 nights so had to sleep sitting on a throne of cushions (to relieve pressure) on the sofa.

I went to gp after a week as I had an infection she had a look and then with a panicked expression said “you haven’t let you OH see this have you?!?”. I hadn’t and clearly it would have traumatised him if I had! I didn’t dare look for about 3 months.

I seriously envy the women who have a relatively easy natural birth with no real problems afterwards.

Piles, constipation, flatulence

Generally ACHING down there

Oh yeah, and we didn’t have sex for around 10 months after I had my son because I was just too terrified. I didn’t use a tampon until about then either because even that was painful to put in. I think that surgeon made me a virgin again with the amount of stitches in there. Never felt the same since.

A tip I was sooo glad to get from a midwife after having my first baby. Drink LOTS of barley water squash, it takes the sting out of peeing and it does!

Peeing hurt like buggery. I rang my emergency bell in the bathroom and everything! Water in a jug poured over really helped. Didn’t have stitches but did tear. Second time had stitches but didn’t hurt to wee. Go figure. After pains with number two- oh my word. Agony. Some codeine based tablets were heaven. Take them if offered.

Having a shower felt weird for a few days (if not a bit longer), as I felt out of control with milk leaking from my boobs and blood / wee leaking from down below. Had to be organised with dark coloured bath towels right by the shower, and breast pads and big fat maternity pads ready to put straight on after getting out. Walking across the room to get them out of their drawer would have left a trail of destruction!

For a few days (possibly a couple of weeks?), at night I leaked a lot of milk and sweated quite a bit too. It was pretty much impossible to tell the proportion of sweat versus milk.

Don't think any of the above is specific to vaginal births though.

I found my natural delivery's harder to recover from then the c-section.

I had 2 straightforward births, no tears or anything. It was very sore for me more than anything else. I did my first wees afterwards in the bath/ shower. After that I would lean forward as much as I could on the loo so the wee didn't make much contact iyswim. When it came to having a poo it did hurt to push, so I literally waited until I couldn't hold it anymore (sorry if tmi lol) and i didn't have to make much effort to push.
The thing that got me was the bleeding, it all depended on how active I was. I remember being pleased after about 4 days because it had practically stopped, the midwife said to be careful because it might start again and it came back with a vengeance when I was walking around etc! (I was out and about as my son was in special care in cornwall and we were from Wales, so we had to go out for food, to keep sanity etc) Someone suggested wearing incontinence pads/ nappies recently and I wish I'd thought of that as the maternity pads are so thick and uncomfortable! They obviously have good absorbency as they're meant to hold a lot of wee.

I found recovery fairly quick, had 2 Nd degree tear, just kept up the painkillers for a few days and then it was fine. Have never noticed anything different down there since but I did have piles for a few months after birth(from the labour I think as I never had them through pregnancy). I was dreading the 1st poo but it was actually fine, I think because I had scoffed an entire bag of dried figs in the days following. I’d recommend that to anyone, and I’m very grateful to the friend that bought them in to hospital for me, although at the time I thought it was a very weird post birth gift