Feel like a failure for using gas & air

[thebumpyride]

I had my third baby in October and I know I can't change anything now. But I haven't felt guilty or not good enough until just recently. My labour was 3 hours long and I used the gas and air only for the last 30 minutes, but now I feel so worthless. I can't explain why I'm just really mentally punishing myself for it. My son was 10lbs 2oz and I loved his birth and did feel like the gas and air helped me keep my rhythm of breathing but I spoke to a friend the other day and she made me feel bad about using anything especially as he was my third 😞

I have a friend who's really proud that she only had gas and air when she had her children. I've never understood what there is to be proud of, to be honest.

I had an epidural with my first, and nothing with my second (very fast labour). Those are just facts, not something to be proud or ashamed of.

Does sound like it would be worth talking to your HV/GP, OP, if you feel like PND might be creeping in. Taking care of your mental health is important - that's something to be proud of, that you took what steps you could to get yourself well!

Has your friend ever given birth?!

I had no pain relief with my second but made sure I got Diamorphine with my 3rd. Wonder what she would think of me.

@TuffTuff Nothing to be proud of, it's just personal preference. I had a TENS, then pool then nothing, nobody gives a shit what my birth was like except for me! Just like I don't care at all about what pain relief friends had as long as they were ok.

If you have a choice in pain relief, nobody should be punishing you for either choice. Neither way is better than the other. You cannot tell what pain relief was used during labour just by looking at a child, it's ridiculous to make a huge deal of it.

Thanks again for your kind words ladies. I feel silly for getting so worked up about it but my mind often works overtime on the unimportant things. I am so proud of bringing my babies into this world the way I have and I couldn't love my birth experiences any more. It's a shame some people are there to drag us down when we feel the opposite. You're all great and I'm definitely going to speak to my doctor about the feelings I'm having. Thank you 💫

OP! Don't feel bad at all. I have birthed three enormous babies on just gas and air, just had my fourth and requested an epidural (have had inductions all four times) and it was bloody wonderful.

I think the first word out of my mouth when I walked in the hospital was "epidural"!! You are a rockstar for only using gas and air. I know I defo couldn't do that!!!

God this just makes me think of a colleague of mine "Oh I'll not use anything, I'll have my first all natural" aye okay good luck with that.

Don't listen to your friend.

I'm cynical though, and this sounds like a stealth boast... if not, sounds like you're suffering PND. It's definitely not normal to feel "guilty" because of pain relief...

I had my first and only with no pain relief at all (not by choice might I add)

it did not make the birth any better, It is not something I feel I have achieved, it isn't something I am particularly proud of. Its just the way things went and I wouldn't feel disappointed if id have had all the pain relief in the world.

Your baby is here, it doesn't matter how it happened. Whether you had no pain relief, an epidural a csection or whatever, who cares! don't let it get you down

I haven't rtft but I had gas & air and TENS machine and I feel like a rock star!! I think all women who give birth, regardless of how or using what medication/support are fabulous!!!

Ha! I had gas & air & eventually an epidural & I don't feel bad at all why do we do this to ourselves?! If you were going for an operation you wouldn't request to be awake & feel the whole thing would you? Yeah ok our bodies are designed for this but it's also friggin painful so why would we not use pain relief?? If I'm lucky enough to have #2 one day I'll ask them to have that epidural on stand by

I had an emergency cesarean by general anaesthetic AND didn't breastfeed, I'm not a failure and it has no bearing on bonding with my DC or our relationships.

I did wonder if this was a genuine post from a mother of 3??