Feel like a failure for using gas & air

[thebumpyride]

I had my third baby in October and I know I can't change anything now. But I haven't felt guilty or not good enough until just recently. My labour was 3 hours long and I used the gas and air only for the last 30 minutes, but now I feel so worthless. I can't explain why I'm just really mentally punishing myself for it. My son was 10lbs 2oz and I loved his birth and did feel like the gas and air helped me keep my rhythm of breathing but I spoke to a friend the other day and she made me feel bad about using anything especially as he was my third 😞

I had two c sections and have never been in labour. Should I feel guilty?? Childbirth isn't a competition and why should anyone suffer more than they have to? You did an amazing thing bringing a person into the world and should be proud of yourself.

Honestly, I wish I HAD the gas and air. It made me feel awful when I tried it so I had to go on without anything. You did an amazing job.

Bloody hell OP , I jammed my blood stream full of synthetic heroin (pethadine) to push out my third. Haven't got round to feeling guilty yet even though they told me 'it would make baby sleepy' . - Fully recommend by the way. Born at 9pm, stared at me for 90 minutes, had a nosh then went back to sleep till morning . Bliss . Still can't get her out of bed, 16 yrs later ..

I think you need a chat with a HV. Sounds like PND May be making an unwelcome visit if you can't work out that your friend is a massive dickhead.

Your friend is a dick.

I felt like a bloody hero after doing it on just G&A.

Your 'friend' needs to take a running jump

I had g&a with all 3 of ours, they were very quick labours, no build up of pain, just full on.
Definitely wouldn't feel guilty.

Ok then 🙄

Op legged it 🙄

Thank you everyone you've definitely made me feel better! Before I had a chat with my friend I did feel pretty brilliant about myself considering I've had all three of my babies on just gas and air. She just worded it in a way that made me overthink it so much and feel like I failed. I know I haven't and I'm so thankful I've got my three babies and they are happy and healthy! I did have bad PND with my second so maybe it's creeping up on my again (oh dear 😰)

Thanks again for all your amazing words, you are all great and every woman is incredible no matter how she delivers her baby!

*creeping up on me again

If you feel that PND is creeping up again please get some help.
Well done to you

Give me the drugs!!! That was me, OP

My second was gas and air only as there was no time for anything more.

You've done brilliantly and look after yourself if you're starting to feel down.

Assuming this is even true, I spoke to my midwife last week about having an epidural-for my third. Your friend is a dick.

And by true I mean, that your friend would say something so silly.

I was miffed when the midwife told me I didn’t need the gas and air anymore, granted I’d been given a epidural but even so

Wtf? Seriously get over it. Besides, g&a is so fun I always look down on people who don’t at least give it a try!

It doesn't matter if you had gas and air, an epidural or a c section. You still got baby here safely, you still had to go through pregnancy, you still had to get baby out.

Your friend is being very unkind, unless she's been busy polishing her birthing medal secretly she should know it makes no difference how baby gets out.

Seriously, stop worrying and tell your ‘friend’ to piss off. I gave birth to my first with nothing, 2nd with gas and air and believe me, if I’m able to I’ll be having an epi this time! I’ve realised there is no prize for suffering!

@Mrscog I tried to give it a try, I didn't even manage one puff because the sound it made was so annoying! I'm planning on trying it super early this time to see if it's as much fun as I'm told.

I had an epidural and guess what? I don't care what anyone thinks! I would do it again :D

Bloody hell does your 'friend' flog herself whilst teaching the dizzy heights of martyrdom

How odd

Ridiculous. I took all the drugs on offer as soon as I could and my daughter was delivered by emergency c section under general anaesthetic. So I couldn't have been more drugged up really. I still think I deserve a medal!
She's nearly 1 now and couldn't be healthier or happier.
Tbh I think finding it worthy or impressive not to take pain relief is pathetic. No one likes a martyr. (That's not directed at you OP, more your "friend ".)

A 10lb baby on gas and air?! You're actually amazing for doing that! I had all manor of drugs for my 8lb 11 baby and feel not one bit of shame or guilt. Childbirth is hard bloody work and different for everyone. You should be proud that you have brought your baby into the world however you did it.

I had an epidural with my first and would have with my second if it wasn't too late to have it! I had my second with just had and air, not by choice, I was begging for more pain relief but it was just too late.

To put it bluntly, who gives a shit what pain relief you had or didn't have? There are no medals in childbirth.