Birth Plan - First Time Mum - Help

[FairyFantastic]

I'm currently looking into my birth plan. Midwife hasn't mentioned it yet but I am well over 30 weeks and want to be prepped.

I am planning for both eventualities. My mum had two c-sections, I remember my brothers birth and I have seen the effects of c-sections in the aftermath, and the idea of it does not frighten me. However, my knowledge of natural labour is limited, so I am not sure what to consider.

So far I know I don't want a forceps delivery at all. I am also considering a water birth if possible. Originally I disliked the idea due to tearing, but I figured if I'm going to tear, I'm going to tear, so may as well be comfortable for part of labour! Did you take a tankini top with you to the hospital? What drugs are available? What is gas and air like? What drugs can be used in a water birth? Any tips or tricks to cope with labour? I've looked into hypnobirthing but I just can't get into it sadly.

Finally, what else should I consider in my birth plan? Any help would be highly appreciated!

Honestly? I wouldn’t make one. There seems to be a lot of angst from people when their birth doesn’t go to plan.

Gas and air is amazing!

Hiya
First of all congrats !!
I had my whole birth planned immaculately however at 36 weeks suddenly was diagnosed with pre eclampsia so that went out the window

However I also wanted a waterbirth and I'm sure it's only gas and air you're allowed

I really enjoyed gas and air for the first few hours of labour however as I was induced my pains were a bit too intense and ended up with an epidural which was bliss

Via bag packing always pack more than h think you'll need in my experience I was in hospital for longer than I thought n had to keep getting family to wash and bring me stuff

I wanted to wear a tankini for a water birth but when I was actually in labour (not a waterbirth unfortunately as I had to be monitored)
I literally took everything off as I felt I needed to be free of all clothes - think this is quite common at honestly at the time you could care less about your dignity !!

Good luck love x

Labour is nothing if not unpredictable, so my honest advice would b3 not to bother with a birth plan at all. Just make sure you know what is likely to be available at your local hospital and go with the flow.

I had three babies. All three deliveries were totally different and could never have been planned. I didn't want the angst of having made a plan that could not have been followed, so I just didn't make any, and was glad I didn't.

I honestly wouldn't get too caught up in a birth plan.
If there is something you are 100% sure you don't want to happen write that down.

FWIW I had to have an episiotomy with ds1 the healing took ages, with ds2 there was no time. I tore pretty badly but the recovery was much better than the first time.

I wouldn't bother with a birth plan, because it's one of the few things in life you cannot plan for at all. You can have a healthy, textbook pregnancy and a problematic delivery, or you can have a high risk pregnancy, or one with concerns, and have a very textbook delivery.

I had "planned" for a water birth with DC1, but tried it and hated it. I couldn't get out fast enough. I was wearing a sports bra, but think that if I'd stayed in the water for longer, I'd have just ended up starkers. I found anything touching me during labour infuriating. Also, I believe you only have access to gas and air during a water birth/labour.

With the others, I didn't bother to plan anything. In the moment, your entire mindset changes and adapts to the moment. You might insist that you don't want a forceps delivery now, but in the moment, that could all change.

Hi I agree with pp, I wouldn't get too caught up in s birth plan, you may end up having to just go with the flow and be disappointed.
If you do decide you want an epidural make sure you let them know when you arrive.

Gas and air is good, I managed with just that with both of my labours, 1st one i had an episiotomy and second just a small tear with a 9.5lb baby 🙈

My advice would be to look into delayed cord clamping and also the magic hour. For me with ds2 these were amazing. I didn't know about them with ds1 but it made such a difference to my birth experience being able to hold baby straight away for ten minutes before they cut the cord and feeding him within the hour.
He's been a great feeder and I believe this helped.

Obviously though these things aren't always possible for one reason or another, but have a look into it. Xx

I found the NHS website helpful, you can download a template and work through it:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/how-to-make-birth-plan/#download-a-birth-plan-template

I only did a birth plan because my community midwife kept on at me to. Nearly all of it went out the window when the time came!

Keep going with hypnobirthing. I thought it was the whackiest, stupidest thing I’d ever put myself through listening to. I KNEW it was bollocks and I’d never even entertain trying to do it during labour.

And then when I was contracting I found myself involuntarily imagining the warm yellow light entering my spine and my body relaxing on my own marshmallowy beach...

Another vote for not bothering with a birth plan. You can let them know you prefer that forceps aren't used, but if they're needed, then they're needed and your plan will be disregarded.

I didn't make a plan as I felt that it was way too unpredictable and didn't want to be disappointed. Just as well as I ended up having a ~30 hour labour that required a ventouse, had a 3rd degree tear, haemorrage, blood transfusion and baby with suspected bleeding on brain and stay in NICU.

Not trying to scare you btw, but this is the reality of it, sometimes it is absolutely textbook and sometimes it requires extensive intervention and there is no way to know until you go through it.

Agree birth plans are pointless.

Re not wanting forceps, I really would try and be informed of risk but not against anything per se. It might be that forceps are really the best thing at the crucial moment during birth iyswim. No-one wants to use any equipment/procedures they don't have to.

My hospital had a talk once a month you could go to by an anaesthetist and this was by far the best preparation for me. It was very statistically based and gave me a real sense of what actually happens. If your hospital offer this, I'd recommend it.

A couple of things that shocked me at the time were that 1 in 4 births at that hospital that were planned vag deliveries ended in emergency sections (i'd thought it was much rarer than that) and that 1 in 5 women who requested an epidural didn't get one as there was no-one available to do it in time. Again, it hadn't occurred to me this could happen! I remember him saying 'get to 3cm dilated and asses. If at 3cm you feel you can cope, carry on. If at 3cm you feel like you can't possibly take a higher level of pain, ask for an epidural immediately as it isn't going to get easier later

BTW I had assumed I'd use gas and air and I just couldn't stand it. But I did use TENS till about 7cm and I thought that was just going to be pointless crap!

I think people misunderstand what a birth plan is for. It's not a set in stone thing. You are allowed to change your mind or deviate from it. No one holds you to it. The point of a birth plan is to get you to think about the different births, different types of pain relief and so on. It's an opportunity for you and your birth partner to discuss what might happen during labour and after it. Think about delayed cord clamping, skin to skin. Think about the possibility of being induced. Think about c sections and what might happen there. If you have read about all these different things and thought about them it's less of a stress should they happen in the delivery room. This is a major event so there is no harm in considering how it might go. It also helps your midwife get to know you and lets her or him know what you might be worried about so they can reassure you.

The Ina May Childbirth book was a revelation to me. I had a difficult first birth and was so worried about my second but this book really helped me come to terms with my experience. I had a fantastic experience the second time and passages from the book came to my mind the whole way through. I had a c section the third time and still found the book very useful for making me feel empowered and confident.

Best of luck, op.

I’ve just filled in my birth plan.
It simply states to get the baby out safely and healthily in whichever way needed but ideally avoiding a c section (I’m taking 12 weeks leave and don’t want half of the leave being unable to get around myself - a car where I live is fairly essential).

As difficult as it is when you’re a first time mum, I second the advice of pretty much everyone —> bun the birth plan.

By all means inform yourself, go to NCT if you find that helpful, read books etc. but bear in mind you have no control over birth, really. The baby will come when and how the baby wants!

*bin

And 12 weeks @thelampshadelady!!! Bloody hell... brave. Good luck!

I agree with PP, don't worry about the birth plan. Mine sounded exactly like yours and I ended up having to have an emergency forceps delivery and episiotomy because DD's heart rate slowed right down. In that moment I'd have done anything to get her out safely despite being terrified of forceps beforehand. It is worth thinking about the time immediately after birth and having skin to skin etc. If I had my time again I'd just make sure I had researched as much as possible every eventuality so I was prepared for what could happen and then try to relax and just go with it! Good luck and congratulations!

Also might be worth seeing if your hospital does free antenatal classes. Ours did and we attended when I was 32 weeks. They went through everything about pain relief and what to expect.

I highly recommend going to the hospital info days/ evenings too. Firstly it can give you valuable information about their statistics (the rate of c-sections varies greatly from hospital to hospital in our region,I.e. If a v birth is important to you, it could be worth selecting one that tries to ensure that as long as possible. ) In our selected hospital you could also look at the delivery rooms ....as birth is all about letting go, feeling safe is a very important aspect. Knowing what to expect can really help with that,I felt.

Completely agree that a birth plan can only get in the way...Try to be open for everything and trust that your midwife/doctor will choose what is the right thing for you and your baby. Re epidural: I am shocked that you should have to decide this so early. Both my children were delivered outside the UK, so this might be necessary but it might be worth checking this when you choose your hospital... My children were both pretty large with big heads and had troubles getting into the birth canal... So after trying all sorts when I was 8 cm , my midwife suggested an epidural to loosen the muscles and make that few missing mm of space rather than for a pain relief. (Although that was a nice aspect of it!) ... It worked really well. With my 2nd they decided a pelvic floor injection was more appropriate and after 2 hours of severe but fruitless pushing my baby came out just with 2 pushs after that injection....what I am trying to say: if possible the medication should happen according to what makes sense for you and your baby not because it slots in well with the hospital. Of course in smaller hospitals /at night they might just have one person being able to do the procedure and if he/she is dealing with an emergency than you'll have to wait. But getting an epidural can also slow down labour dramatically and getting one at 3cm just doesn't seem fair. I hope you can find a hospital that suits your needs and wishes!

Also hypnobirthing was not available here at the time... But I went to 'pregnancy yoga' which was also very helpful in helping you focus on breathing. Anything you can do offering that sort of thing is great (I hear there are apps for hypnobirthing too?).

Just one other thing as I felt it really helped me mentally: a midwife recommended that anything you so should be towards opening up, I.e. If going through a contraction, don't cross your legs but stand wide, if you make a sound go 'a' rather than 'm' or's' as those later ones mean you are closing your mouth and clenching and that won't do you any favours as it reflects what you body is doing all over.... I thought it was really silly when she said it but it really really helped me!

All the best! You can do this!

With my first my birth plan was 2 sides of AA paper, typed and stapled into my notes. I said categorically no epidural. I'd done a lot of research and knew several people who had been left with varying levels of paralysis. I was adamant and terrified of one. In labour I should screamed for an epidural.

With my second my birth plan was half a side of A4. I realised it just totally goes out the window. I immediately asked for an epidural. It didn't work. So basically...best laid plans and all that.

It's fine to have a birth plan but you do need to understand it's a plan and not set rules. I said things like I'd prefer not to be cut but that if I had to be then fine. You say you don't want forceps, what do you plan on happening instead if you need them? That's the important thing to think about. I wrote both plans with a view of what I wanted but if babies life was at risk then x, y, z.

This time I think I will just have the emergency contact details in my birth plan and leave it at that. I might put something in there about what I'm like in labour.

Btw gas and air makes me vom. Every single time. So when my epidural didn't work in my last labour I ended up with no pain relief. I have considered a birth pool but I want the option of an epidural again (if it works!). Not sure about what you can have, possibly gas and air.

Hey i get what people are saying about not doing a birth plan due to unpredictability but defo going to have to disagree!
It doesnt harm writing some things down which you would prefer.. such as water birth, any pain releif ect. But do remember it may not go to plan! And thats ok! I wanted to do it naturally and wrote that and because of that i wasnt offered any pain releif (which i was happy about in the end becuase would prob taken anything if offered it at the time hah)

Something that really helped me is with each contraction visualise my body opening up and the baby moving down
Also remember, each contraction is like a wave that will start, build up, peak, and then come down. Breath through each, once you have reached the peak you can remember that it cant get any more intense and it is coming down.

Def easier said than done, i had a natural birth (tried gas and air but didnt think it was all that) and it was tough but i got through it breathing and visualising, (and saying i cant this haha), and it definetly helped that i had my mam talking me through each contraction (she read my notes about the visualising and contraction waves)

Good luck!

I had no pain relief until pushing stage, then gas and air both times. DS2 was a water birth, I jumped in at pushing stage, which only lasted 5 minutes!

Basically, aim to keep going as long as possible before pain relief, think to yourself 'I can do10 more minutes of this' and this should help you through labour. Birth plans are a bit pointless, I just had 'no meptid' and 'delayed clamping' on mine.

Of course a birth plan is helpful. It helps to crystallise your feelings, it's a discussion point for you and your birth partner. It is helpful as a starting point for midwives.

You might want to consider things like the vitamin k injection, a managed third stage or not, skin to skin, etc. I put on mine that I didn't want any kind of opiate pain relief offered and that I also didn't want gas and air, so don't ask me if I want that either. Of course you can change your mind about any of it when you're in the situation, no one would dream of holding you to it.

I would absolutely decline high rotational forceps - make it very clear that you will not consent, in any circumstances.

Many countries never, ever use high rotational forceps. They avoid this by intervening with a c section early enough. It is reasonable (and possible) to ask your healthcare providers to avoid putting you in a situation where high forceps are the only option.

Hi Fairy, I would just bear in mind that while some PPs have said there is no harm in making a birth plan as it can be changed, my experience was that because I'd categorically said I didn't want an epidural in my birthplan, my midwife didn't recommend I have an epidural when the doctor had told her they wanted me to get one because it was likely they'd need to intervene.

I did end up getting an epidural when I was fully dialated as my contractions stopped and I was put on the drip to start them again. I had a ventouse delivery and episiotomy, which the doctor knew I would need so I was so pleased I got the epidural in the end. Recovery was no problem for me at all.

So I would recommend writing all pain relief down on your birthplan in case you need it. I was told by my midwife your birthplan is basically just a list of the drugs you do or don't want and whether you plan on breastfeeding.

I got in the pool at one point about 7cm dialated juat to relax but i didn't like it. I was naked the whole time as I felt much more comfortable that way but I am very comfortable with nudity anyway! You can get in and out of the pool throughout labour so would just see if you feel more comfortable in there and decide if you wabt to give birth in there.

I'm 38 weeks with my second now and it seems like no one bothers asking you what your plan is second time round other than home or hospital. I've been practicing hypnobirthing this time, which I poo-pooed in first pregnancy as I am hoping it will help me get through the early stages of labour, which went on for days first time and I think I will go for epidural earlier this time if I can. Good luck and remember happy and healthy baby and mum are the important thing x

I honestly wouldn't get too caught up in a birth plan. If there is something you are 100% sure you don't want to happen write that down.

^^ This

I said epidural only as a very last resort, if surgical intervention was needed.

No to pethidine under any circumstances (my mum had a very strong adverse reaction to it, and we tend to have similar drug reactions)

DH to be the person to tell me if it was a DD or DS

That was about it

Mine went out of the window after three days of early labour. I was desperate for pain relief because I hadn't slept for 3 days and I was exhausted, and I was only 3-4 cm dilated after 3 days of contractions. I had a choice between my planned water birth, and a pethadine injection. I took the pain relief and slept. It was the right choice but completely off plan. It also took a lot longer than necessary to agree the pain relief because the midwives wanted to keep to my birth plan if at all possible.

Having said all that, making a plan meant I researched all of the options and thought a lot about what I did and didn't want, and discussed it all with my partner too, which was really important. So for that reason I'll still make one if I ever have another baby.