Feeling awful since giving birth

[user1499451561]

I'm so distressed since giving birth, I had a long labour and needed cutting I'm 3 days in and I cannot get out of bed without screaming with pain because of the stitches. I went to the hospital today and they've given me antibiotics to be on the safe side! I'm just worried about the way I feel in general I feel so weak and anxious and scared I hate the way my body is feeling and I'm loosing quite a lot of blood from down below. I know my body has just gone through such a traumatic thing but listening to others tell me it's normal might help I feel so useless, I cannot even pick up my baby with the amount of pain I'm in my partner is doing everything and I feel so guilty. As you can probably tell I'm a first timer I constantly feel in a state of panic like anytime now I'm going to have the biggest panic attack ever!! Is this normal ??

Can I just say that I can remember feeling exactly the way you are now.

I didn’t have a bad birth or bad experience in hospital but struggled for around a week or so after I’d got home, I find it hard to explain but I didn’t feel truly ‘at home’. I went into hospital without a baby and came home with one and it was so alien to me, my whole life had been turned upside down and even worse, I felt so much PRESSURE to be happy but I wasn’t.

I was terrified, anxious and scared. I remember being in the hospital with DD the morning after she was born and it suddenly hitting me that I have to take this little human home, I have to feed, dress and tend to every little need. Nothing is scarier, during the whole nine months this never truly dawned on me until she was here and I felt pure panic.

I will say that getting out and about (which I understand may be hard right now with the snow etc) really helped me, I didn’t feel like going out but I forced myself to, it made me realise that life goes on even though for me it felt like it had stopped completely.

I spoke to my HV about how I was feeling, she said it was normal in the first week or so but if i was still feeling low after that then to go and see my GP.

I feel for you sweetheart but it truly does he better! Just sit tight and these difficult months will fly by xxx

Poor you congratulations though!

Earth Mama Bottom Spray saved me "down there", really soothing.

I couldn't sit down for a week because of the stitches and I felt exceptionally weak (very long labour) for a few weeks.

I wouldn't say however that I couldn't pick up the baby or I was screaming in pain when I got up. I think you should get a midwife to check you over tomorrow.

It's so much harder than you realise, but it does get easier. At about 12 weeks!

Are you on a good schedule of paracetamol and ibuprofen? It makes all the difference!

Also it's fine to feel shit. Lots of people do! Your body feels awful and then on top of that your hormones make you so vulnerable. Each day will be better, but be do kind to yourself. If it hurts to get up, stay down!

People used to "lie in " for six weeks. And bleeding is quite heavy afterwards. So stop beating yourself up for feeling useless ..... but do keep an eye on your stitches/pain. 3 days, probably normal - 7 days, not

You've just given birth - it's normal to feel unwell and anxious and in pain, and it's normal for your partner to be doing everything. Bleeding is normal too - my baby is 4 weeks old and I'm still bleeding. I had an emergency caesarean and needed my partner to do everything for the first two weeks. I couldn't even sit up in bed by myself or get up from a chair - I needed him to pull me up. For the next six weeks I'm still forbidden from bending, lifting or standing for long periods, and the doctor said it takes a year to fully recover from a caesarean. I'm still in pain and still coming to terms with how my body has changed. I am slowly feeling stronger though - I can sit up in bed by myself now! It will get easier, you just need to give it some time. Promise yourself you'll allow your body six weeks to recover and re-assess how you feel at that point, then switch off your brain and don't worry until then!

I totally relate, I couldn’t sit down properly for about 4 days as my stitches were so sore. Cried every time I had to sit down on the loo, every wee and every poo. Barely able to walk as felt like my pelvic floor was falling out of me. Birth was BRUTAL.

What you are going through is normal but on the harder side of normal.

It will get better. Congratulations and stay strong!!!

You made a HUMAN! Yes your partner should be doing everything. That's OK, it's normal to be sore too. Baths may help and speak to your midwife about decent pain relief.

I felt EXACTLY like this - I had a hard labour and an emergency section and a long undignified hospital stay and I felt physically and emotionally traumatised. It’s normal but it’s still horrible! It does get better, although I still find my child’s birthday hard as I have flashbacks. It’s ok to feel shocked and angry and upset - it’s bloody hard and scary and it feels so unfair that some people have easier births. Try and rest as much as you can, don’t put pressure on yourself. Physically you will be amazed at how quickly you feel better - are you on iron tablets? I was anaemic after birth due to blood loss and it really doesn’t help your recovery so get that checked out ASAP.
Congratulations on your new arrival - life will feel normal again soon, I promise! X

And yes i remember the feel of constant weepy panicked alertness - I found watching soothing mindless telly really helped with that. I watched a lot of homes under the hammer and nature docs on iplayer, I found it really gentle and grounding to watch stuff like that while my baby fed or slept on me.

I echo everything that PPs have said above. Also, day 3 is usually when your hormones kick in so it's totally normal to feel a bit sorry for yourself. Don't worry, it'll pass.
Keep on top of the pain relief; take it regularly and don't try to 'go without'. It's v safe to use even when breastfeeding.

Oh you poor thing. We just celebrated DC1's 16th birthday, but oh do I remember that labour/delivery like yesterday. I gave birth to him in the States and had lots of stitches, lots of bleeding, oh and the pain... I can feel it as I type, the sting and all the rest. But what really, really, really helped me was just shoving cloth covered ice packs down there. I did this for the first 24 hours after the birth- the midwife did. And then I continued at home.

3 days in is sort of normal but I don't know, I'd book in to see the GP if you're not improving by Monday.

Oh yes, just to echo others, it is totally fine to take paracetamol and you should. It will really help. Don't suffer. These early days are hard enough. Do what you need to do to make it easier.

Also -
Lightly wet maternity pads, then freeze. Very useful for sitting on or for holding against stitches on the loo so it doesn't feel like you're falling out. And you can pee in the shower with the shower head running. Stops the stinging.

I had a relatively straight forward labour and I still suffered with the pain form my stitches after. Warm baths with Epsom salts and lavender oil, really helped me!

Is the pain just coming from where you had the stitches? They can be uncomfortable, but if you notice an unpleasant smell it could be that you have an infection.
If the pain is more generalised over your body, that is not normal. If you have rapid pulse and breathing, a fever, cold hands and feet...consider the possibility of sepsis, which requires immediate medical attention. You probably haven't got this! But it's good to be aware of the signs.

I was like this after my first, every time I got off the bed or picked him up I was either close to tears, or crying. My internal stitches were infected, but I also got given cocadamol (sp?) 3 days in and it was amazing. I took half a 8/500 tablet every 4 hours, and it really did make all the difference. Obviously it's best to not take them and breastfeed, but it's also quite a small amount. Could you phone your MW or OOH tomorrow and see if they could get you a prescription? Your DP could pick them up for you.

I promise you in a couple weeks you'll feel so much better and this will all be a blur. Congratulations

Also, have you been checked incase of a haemotoma? They are extremely painful and not always easy to spot. Do you have any areas down there that are very firm and sore to touch?

I hear you.
I'd given birth twice before but the third time knocked me for 6. I felt in so much pain that I was worrying it couldn't be normal. I even posted about it (but no one replied!). Combined with the afterpains, I thought I'd need an ambulance at one point. The worry that something was wrong was the worst. But it was my body healing.
For what it's worth, these blurry early days go so fast, they really do. You'll be feeling better soon

Thank you so much for everyone's replies they really do go along way to hear that this is quite normal! I think it's crazy that I thought I'd just pop a baby out and be up normal the next day! I went to the hospital yesterday they ran blood tests and the levels in my blood showed that they didn't think it was a haematoma but another level was very high which showed I had inflammation In my body so I've been given antibiotics just incase. Has anyone got any recommendations for pain relief I'm keeping on top of the ibuprofen and paracetamol but I'm still in a lot of pain. They have offered to give me dihydrocodeine but I really don't like the thought of the side effects!

I couldn't walk properly for about 3 weeks after having DS with the stitches. It was so painful. Even at the 6 week check when they checked me and I was healing well I was still getting occasional sharp pains.

It doesn't sound like much, but distilled witch hazel poured onto maternity pads is very soothing to stitches and grazes. I went though bottles of the stuff. If you have an infection I'm not sure how much it'll help the pain but it's worth a try

Codeine will really help and you can take it along with the ibuprofen and paracetamol - just make sure you get lactulose as well as it can make you constipated which is the last thing you need!

Lavender and tea tree oils are soothing. You can put a few drops of each in a bath or I made a spray bottle up so i could spritz my bits after the toilet/shower. Midwife recommended it to me and said I’d feel like a new woman after and I did. Getting out of the bath was another matter
You can also add a few drops of tea tree to maternity pads. It’s a natural antiseptic and is very soothing.
Also witch hazel soaked pads in the fridge are meant to be good but I never tried them.

Also and this may be obvious but space your painkillers out. I was taking paracetamol and ibuprofen at the same time rather than a few hours apart so I had continuous pain relief. I like to think I’m quite bright so maybe it was the trauma of childbirth that sent me a bit crazy but my husband had to point out my error. He set alarms on his phone and would bring me the tablets and a drink and food for the ibuprofen when it was due to save me remembering. Also meant the pain never got too bad and I kept on top of it.

I felt exactly the same after my episiotomy with DC2. I drove to the doctors, shaking in pain, and crashed my car into a post in the car park. I then had a full blown panic attack.

They gave me antibiotics and painkillers, plus when they looked I had horrendous piles and they gave me local anaesthetic cream for that too. My urine also showed a UTI, my entire nether regions were a mess!

It all got better in time and with the right medication. Get as much help as you can with the baby; I know you want to bond but the baby will know who you are. Right now resting and recovering are the most important things.

I'm quite worried by what you describe. It's good that you went back to the hospital but please do keep going back or to your doctor if you don't rapidly improve. It's not clear if you are actually taking the antibiotics prescribed - if you a haven't yet, please do.

Some pain from the wound and some generalised aches are to be expected but they should be manageable with painkillers. Some emotional upheaval is normal too. What you describe about screaming in pain, unable to lift your baby, feeling awful despite painkillers is not normal. Feeling horribly weak and very anxious is usually precisely because there is something wrong.

I agree with the person who mentioned possible sepsis.

Please also don't listen to the advice for oils or lotions in baths for your stitches. Current best advice is shower with plain water, no baths and no products at all. Ask your doctor for her advice on what is best for you.

Feel better v soon, or if not, insist on help.