Feeling awful since giving birth

[user1499451561]

I'm so distressed since giving birth, I had a long labour and needed cutting I'm 3 days in and I cannot get out of bed without screaming with pain because of the stitches. I went to the hospital today and they've given me antibiotics to be on the safe side! I'm just worried about the way I feel in general I feel so weak and anxious and scared I hate the way my body is feeling and I'm loosing quite a lot of blood from down below. I know my body has just gone through such a traumatic thing but listening to others tell me it's normal might help I feel so useless, I cannot even pick up my baby with the amount of pain I'm in my partner is doing everything and I feel so guilty. As you can probably tell I'm a first timer I constantly feel in a state of panic like anytime now I'm going to have the biggest panic attack ever!! Is this normal ??

I was the same and went into some kind of shock after birth I think. I had no idea what it would be like and felt slightly let down as it seemed there was so much focus on the birth and baby, but the struggle afterwards was barely touched on by anyone.

Arnica was suggested to me and hot and cold compresses for the stitches and bruising. I also didn't poo for 2 weeks as the pushing sensation scared me, and had to finally go squatting on a towel as I left it too long. I would not recommend that and would suggest laxatives at some point if you're struggling before it gets too bad. I also bled for nearly 6 weeks and it was very heavy at the start. It all sounds normal and it is so difficult, but gets easier and easier.

Let partner take the brunt of it, you need to recover slowly and be kind to yourself.

I can't comment on the traumatic birth but my baby was very big and he was born 6 days ago. I've found starting the day with a sea salt bath as hot as you can stand really helps. Mothercare do a doughnut shaped pillow that has been a godsend. And make sure you're religiously taking your painkillers.

I could have written your post 4 months ago. I had an episiotomy and forcep delivery and can remember the excruciatingly painful recovery. Like you my partner did pretty much everything because I was in too much pain. I found that making sure I got as much air as possible to the cut helps, I used to lie on a towel for a few hours a day. I also agree with PP about peeing in the shower. Also leaning forward when you're on the toilet helps to direct the pee away from the cut. I was religious about spacing my paracetomol and ibuprofen which helped a little bit. I ended up with antibiotics too and they made a big difference. Ultimately I felt a difference at about 5 days which was when I could go downstairs. I left the house for the first time at 18 days and felt ok walking slowly. Took about 6 weeks to be ok sitting up for long periods of time. Had sex at 9 weeks which if you had told me when it was only 3 days I never would have believed you.

You WILL feel better soon physically. It feels never ending but it will pass. In terms of how you feel mentally, that could take longer than the physical pain. Talk about how you're feeling, especially to your midwife/health visitor/gp. They have seen so many women who have been the same. Early days are the absolute hardest with mood.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.