Positive birth stories!

[PositivePlans2017]

I am so fed up of everyone telling me their negative stories and how much it's going to hurt blah blah blah. One colleague at work today really wound me up I really wanted to tell her to fuck off but unfortunately I couldn't really... it's because I mentioned I'm hoping to just have gas and air and waterbirth to which she laughed in my face. And then everytime she passed me she whispered "you will end up with all the drugs", "bet you end up with an epidural" etc. I don't want to hear this. Plenty of people do this without all the pain relief going every day, it's not that unusual!

I'm doing hypnobirthing and really hoping to stay positive. Obviously I'm not delusional and I know it's not going to be a walk in the park and pain free but I don't want to hear it's going to be agony etc.

Just to clarify, I have no problem with people using whatever they need to get through it and if I am struggling and feel I need them then I'm not going to refuse them, I would just rather try my planned water birth first.

So, anyone want to tell me some positive stories to balance it out?

Anything that causes you to clench your jaw (which will automatically make you clench your pelvic floor) is not ideal. If you want to use gas and air ask for the face mask rather than the tube you suck on as there is a temptation to bite down on it.

Also screaming is not the best idea as it expels your energy outwards rather than "downwards" (in pushing your baby out). Obviously you might not be able to help yourself but if you feel compelled to make a noise (some women do, some don't) then something like a mooing sound pushes your breath/energy/focus (whatever you want to call it) in the right kind of direction.

Two inductions here, both with epidurals and both requiring stitches. Not what I had planned but both were positive experiences - the second was wonderful. Recovered quickly from both and the only negative was a case of piles after the second. Ouch.

Try to ignore the horror stories. Of course some people have difficult births but it's really unfair to use these stories to make others feel anxious.

Natural birth almost 2 weeks over my due date.

Regular contractions for 8 hours at home before going to the hospital and was 6cm dilated. Gas and air only. Needed continuous monitoring because of babies heart rate so birthed in bed on my back but was fine and I was really comfortable. We had a few scary moments due to the heart rate dipping and baby needed blood sample taking whilst still inside me which was very uncomfortable but very needed as the result determined that we could continue rather than head for a section. Baby born 8 hours after arriving at hospital with around 90 mins of pushing. Born with cord wrapped around leg, stomach and neck. I was exhausted and it was agony but I had no stitches or tears. Was up and showered an hour later and all of my pregnancy symptoms instantly disappeared (heart burn, sore back etc).

I felt it was a really positive labour and my midwife was amazing so supportive and encouraging. I trusted her completely and she was brilliant when things were starting to get scary and the room suddenly filled with doctors. Aside from those moments it was relatively calm and quiet. We were undisturbed and the only time another staff member came in was right before baby was born to help out.

Oh I have to add I also had to have my waters broken. I only had 2 vaginal exams the full time (once when I arrived at assessment and once before they broke my waters). I had a moment of "give me an epidural" but I was too far gone by that point apparently my advice would be think positive and stay calm.

You will be fine! I just had gas and air, I was told before by a colleague that when it gets to the point where you feel like you can't take anymore is when baby will come and that's exactly what happened! I did end up with a 3rd degree tear but that's because I stopped feeling the contractions and didn't know when to push. But that healed and everything is more than worth it when you finally get see the adorable face! The pain soon turns into pure bliss! Hope all goes to plan for you

I went in with my lavender oil and clary sage, did 12 hours on positive thinking and two paracetamol. Then another 12 on gas and air in the birthing pool. I never once thought "I can't do this"

My body and ds had other ideas though, I never dilated due to his position but had 30 hours of back to back labour contracting every 3 minutes from the very beginning.

Ended up being blue light transferred for an epidural and monitoring. My waters went en route (spectacularly, DH thought someone had thrown a bucket of water on the floor) and after another 6 (blissfully pain free) hours, I still never dilated and my beautiful boy was born by EMCS.

I used hypnobirthing techniques to keep calm and positive even when I was being prepped for surgery.

My point being, it was about as far away from what I thought I wanted as it got. It had literally never even occurred to me that I wouldn't be giving birth vaginally! It was still a good experience, I was exhausted, beyond shattered and not particularly cohesive. But my boy was born, and it was the most wonderful experience of my life. 😊

I had my "worst case scenario where everyone comes out of it in one piece" birth when I had planned a homebirth (went to 42 weeks, needed an induction, cascades of interventions, etc) and it was still a positive experience. The midwives were very good and got me through it feeling safe and cared for.

One regret though: I hadn't coached my husband in the hypnobirthing stuff, trusting that I'd remember all the stuff from the tapes and be in a position to use it. I sort of did at the start but I could have done with some "remember the pain dial visualisation" and "how's your perfect beach right now" reminders when shit got well and truly real.

I'd be feeling like shit about having done what I needed to do at the time if I had to work with your colleague though! What a horrible person for backing you into a corner like that. 1) Plenty of women have positive labours (whether drug-free and all natural or with the use of medicine and interventions) 2) What purpose does trying to scare you serve?

Maybe ask her 2) and let me know what she says!

Fairly hands-off MLU birth, I had back labour but was fine with the gas and air, just felt like I really, really needed a dump for most of it.

No real fear of going again.

Hello! Your colleague sounds like an arse, maybe have a practice using the hypno techniques to help her stupid comments wash over you? A joke, but it may work! People are always so keen to tell you their terrible tales and I think it's such a horrible thing to do to a soon to be mother, positivity is key! My birthing of dd 6 months ago was an amazing experience, I'd planned a home water birth, but in the end didn't have my own home to do it in until a few days after she was born and my mum didn't want me doing it at theirs which was fair enough. This initially really upset me, but the birth in hospital was absolutely fine and it was nice to know that the extra drugs were there if I needed them. I did most of my labour at my mums however, and was 7-8 cm dilated by the time I got to hospital, the midwives on the phone kept telling me to wait even though my contractions were strong and close together. I didn't have anything for pain relief up until that point, but was a bit snappy by the time I arrived at hospital, but once I got the gas and air I was fine. Dd was born 3 hours later, no tears and very little intervention from the midwives (I hate fuss and really just wanted to be quiet and alone, DP was sent out for a bit when I was at home as I couldn't deal with him asking if I was ok every 5 minutes!) I didn't even know there were two until she popped up under me to tell me the baby had a good head of hair! They made the room dark for me which I read is supposed to help you relax and that helps speed things up, or rather doesn't slow them down. I didn't even ask for a birth pool at the hospital as I found during the three (!) baths I had at home during labour (started at 4am baby born at 10pm) slowed my contractions down, and I had the mindset I wanted it over and baby here safe asap! I didn't do any hypnobirthing classes but kept thinking to myself that it was 'pain with a purpose' and that helped me remain calm and positive about the experience. My only tips would be get a Pilates ball, keep moving and bounce hard during contractions to distract yourself; use a natural oil such as almond or coconut for perineal massage for a few weeks beforehand; don't try and do the labour on your back (I had the head of the bed pushed up and leant on that while kneeling up on the bed, and meant I could have a little rest by leaning forwards), it really is the worst position and constricts the space available, but in a pool you won't be lying down so should be ok; and try to keep stress to a minimum, anyone that's bugging you send them away (use the excuse of needing something last minute if you don't want to seem harsh!). Oh and pant like a dog when the midwives tell you to pant! Good luck! Hopefully you will be back with a wonderful birth story soon!

I'm happy to share my story as I've been told by a community midwife that my friends won't want to hear it!!

Started contracting around 9pm the Monday night (ahead of planned induction on the Tuesday) but dismissed them as BH. By 11pm they were every five minutes. I then fell asleep....and stayed asleep all the way through early labour. Woke at 5am and they were much stronger but totally bearable. Arrived at birth unit at 7.30am and waited an hour or so to be examined. Contractions much stronger but still not the worst pain of my life. I remember thinking "this can't be labour, it's got to get worse than this". Turns out it didn't as I was already 7cm. Started on the gas and air then waters broke around an hour later. I felt him start to travel down which eased the pain and gave me something to concentrate on. Midwife said she could see the head, five or six pushes later out he swam and left me with two tiny internal grazes.

First baby, 41 weeks and around five hours established labour start to finish. A truly magical experience.

I also had minimal intervention and just one exam on arrival. I had what was described as a 'beautiful physiological' birth where I laboured naturally and with midwives next to me just being generally encouraging and wonderful. Completely not what I expected to achieve that morning when I woke up!

My sister described birth as hard work, a long hard slog, but not the horror story I had heard. She was right. I had an induction first time, had G&A and pethidine. It was fine. I had just G&A second time round. It hurts like fuck but tbh only right towards the end. I found the pushing part a relief - I could actually get on and do something. The advice to go with the pain is spot on- don't fight it, just find a way to work through it. I walked around a lot second time round, that helped. I stood and was on all fours while being induced, that helped too. Lying down was terrible, so I didn't! Be strong, work hard, be realistic, stay calm. For me, even with an induction and then with my second a back to back labour with just G&A it was ok. But hey even if you need more drugs, that's ok too - just go with it. You'll be ok.

I had my first three babies very easily with just gas and air however it did make me feel a bit spaced out. I had my fourth with no pain relief whatsoever and it was amazing to be so present! Key things for me were breathing like I'd been taught at Daisy Birthing Classes and standing up for the whole time. Good Luck!

Had 2 home births and they were amazing! Hypno birth for both and would give birth again tomorrow (too old now 😨)

Your colleague is being an idiot. Whilst preparation and having a positive mindset is essential, a lot of labour is down to luck - the position of the baby, how well he/she tolerates the contractions, when your waters break, position of the placenta etc are all factors you can't control. If you need an induction for your first, it is highly likely you will end up having an epidural because contractions go from nothing to super strong instantly but there is nothing wrong with that.

I was extremely lucky that the conditions were right for my labour and my daughter tolerated it perfectly. I did most of the labour at home and went into hospital when I was having regular contractions with barely any break between them. I had only used tens until this point and was 4-5cm when I got there and absolutely exhausted. I considered pethidine but I was told I may not be able to get in the water if I had it and my heart was set on a water birth so I settled for gas and air until the pool was available. After 3ish hours on gas and air, I was able to use the pool. My waters broke at this point and I got into the pool and used gas and air to push her out over the next hour or so.

My advice would be to keep an open mind. Plan how you want to manage your contractions, stay as active as possible from now onwards in your pregnancy (I swam everyday from 36 weeks until the day I went into labour) and during labour and then see how you feel when you are in the situation. The planning will allow you to cope with labour if baby is coping well too and have a natural birth if you want to. If you can't, it is not a failure - having a healthy baby is the only thing that matters

Well I can tell you that I had my first baby in November and I did it all on gas and air! I didn't need any other interventions and I didn't have any stitches! So it is possible! 😉 The contractions are like bad period pains so not pleasant but bearable and actually pushing is more of a pressure than a pain I found. It's true that your body takes over. I pushed for 2 hours and just focused my mind on the end result and used the gas and air to control my breathing xx

Had DS at home, was meant to be in the water but I had to get out to increase contractions. I had a TENS initially and then got into the pool, was offered gas and air but it tasted disgusting and I hated the noise it made. I have an average pain tolerance but am very stubborn and scared of hospitals! It really wasn't that bad, DS was all relaxed and alert and midwives had to keep prodding him to make him cry, placenta came out naturally a few minutes later. I was put to bed with baby and fed him while DH got me food. Midwives left and we went to sleep.

The only bad points were that DS was back to back for most of the labour (turned at the end) and pushed my coccyx out of alignment for a week and that my husband was following me around for the first 12 hours as everytime I stood I would bleed on the floor

If it was that bad I would have gone to the hospital, but it was so good that I wouldn't hesitate to do it that way again.

i had a very positive first birth - in the water with gas and air. it was really empowering and my hypnobirthing exercises helped me to stay calm and focused and forget about / not worry about anything else that was going on around me.
I had amazing and supportive midwives who completely respected my birth plan choices (including keeping quiet, lights switched off etc)
I couldn't have asked for a more positive experience - so it is entirely possible.
(i did keep an open mind going into it re drugs if needed etc, but also kept thinking positively and that i was capable of doing it and allowing my body to do what it had to)