Positive birth stories!

[PositivePlans2017]

I am so fed up of everyone telling me their negative stories and how much it's going to hurt blah blah blah. One colleague at work today really wound me up I really wanted to tell her to fuck off but unfortunately I couldn't really... it's because I mentioned I'm hoping to just have gas and air and waterbirth to which she laughed in my face. And then everytime she passed me she whispered "you will end up with all the drugs", "bet you end up with an epidural" etc. I don't want to hear this. Plenty of people do this without all the pain relief going every day, it's not that unusual!

I'm doing hypnobirthing and really hoping to stay positive. Obviously I'm not delusional and I know it's not going to be a walk in the park and pain free but I don't want to hear it's going to be agony etc.

Just to clarify, I have no problem with people using whatever they need to get through it and if I am struggling and feel I need them then I'm not going to refuse them, I would just rather try my planned water birth first.

So, anyone want to tell me some positive stories to balance it out?

I really recommend looking into hypnobirthing. I listened to Maggie Howell and managed to give birth without any pain relief and was 10cms when I got to hospital. It still bloody hurt but at no point did I feel out of control or panicky. I was all prepared to have pain relief if necessary and I didn't do it without meds to be a hero, it just never entered my head. I found I went into a 'zone' and managed to tell myself that it was nearly over and when each contraction ended I told myself it was one I would never experience again. My waters broke at about 5am, got to hospital around 9am and my DS was born at 12.25pm. It was a truly positive experience and one I would do all over again. I would say have an open mind, try hypnobirthing but also explore pain relief options just in case.

Both my labours and deliveries were really positive and very similar to each other, manageable contractions with gas and air until transition when I got a bit desperate and begged for an epidural (too late of course!), then an overwhelming urge to push. I felt very at peace with the fact my body seemed to know what it was doing! Vaginal deliveries with no tears or grazes.
I'm a scbu nurse and was convinced all manner of things would go wrong but I was happily mistaken.

You will be fine I'm sure, if anyone starts to tell you a bad birthing story again I would just let them know it's a shame they feel like that but you are going to make the most of your birth rise above it.

I didn't do hypno-birthing but you must remember to breath and not tense up with your contractions. The rest takes care of its self, all of my birth plans said the same thing as well. "I will try on gas and air but am open to other suggestions. Please can you rub baby with a towel before placing them on me thank you"

I did Daisy Birthing classes for my daughter and have just completed another course ready for #2 in around 8 weeks time.

I'd say my first birth was a positive experience - got to 5/6cm with just a tens machine, then got in the pool for a few hours with gas and air. Had to get out to deliver as there was meconium present when my waters finally broke. Relatively short pushing stage again with just Gas and air. At no stage did I feel what I'd actually call "pain", just strong urges. DD was 8lb15oz!

All I'd say is go into it open minded. Don't be closed off to anything. My birthing plan stated I wanted an active birth with as little intervention as possible but that if at any stage I asked for drugs I was to be given them!

Knowledge is power: anything you can do to make yourself fully informed of your options and ensure you fully understand the Birthing process - such as understanding the negative effects of adrenaline, the importance of oxygen (i.e. Breathing correctly), how to keep your oxytocin levels up to ensure progression of labour, etc - will only benefit you.

If it was that bad would we all just have 1 child? It's A pain but worth doing it all again

OP, I do think everyone is naive going into their first birth. I don't mean that as a criticism as I was totally the same.

I had a horrific birth experience and almost died. I do have to bite my lip sometimes when I hear first time Mums talking about their birth plans but I am not negative.

The thing is, it's all down to luck. You can have great intentions, and they may work out (I hope they do) but circumstances may develop beyond your control. If I didn't have an epidural, I would have had to wait longer for post birth surgery and that would have led to bad things for me. The best advice is to keep an open mind and listen to what the midwives and doctors recommend when you are in labour.

cavemum I've booked daisy classes as well, start in 2 weeks so it's good to know you found it beneficially enough to do a 2nd time round. To be honest they're not very clear what it actually is! But I've seen on here a few people recommend them which is why I signed up.

I went to Hypnobirthing classes and had 2 lovely birth experiences as a result.
My first lasted 30 hours and I couldn't have a water birth as my waters had broken 24 hours before I went until hospital. The contractions were uncomfortable rather than agony and the TENS machine really helped.
I'd recommend staying at home as long as possible and I also refused a sweep or induction as I didn't want to start the cycle of intervention.
'Induction - Do I need it' is a really useful thing to read (it's on Amazon) so you are armed with all the facts if you are pressured into an induction if you go 'overdue'.

My 2nd was a waterbirth. I couldn't understand why it felt so different from my first, until he was born and I found out that he was 9lb 13 and back to back, and his head was the 95th centile i.e. massive!
I still managed to have him without needing any pain relief, not even gas & air.

There are loads of positive birth stories, you just don't hear about them as much.
There's a Facebook group called Positive Birth Stories. You can also search for Hypnobirths on YouTube.

Stick with the Hypno, practise and believe it can work. If you trust in your body it will do what it was designed for when baby is ready!

Wanted a lovely calm, hypno-water birth. Got a Labour ward, constantly monitored (as in midwife sat in the room staring at the screen the whole time monitored) instead.

However, my baby was 10lb+ and in preparation for an induction (that I didn't need in the end) had an epidural (the one you can still walk around with) and she was actually born with no assistance could still feel to push etc. The worst bit for me was no moments alone with my OH to take it all in/ share our thoughts privately. Few 3rd degree tears but nothing that caused me any major discomfort.

Oh I hope you enjoy them! The classes are split into 3 parts: yoga type stretches and breathing techniques to start with, followed by "education" where you discuss the process of birth and why the things Daisy teaches you are beneficial; finishing up with some more stretches and then a relaxation where the teacher reads positive affirmations while you lie in the floor and relax!

It might sound a bit lentil-weavery but it's all very non-judgemental - you discuss all aspects of birth including your options on drugs and other interventions.

I had two amazing deliveries.

First baby was born in water in MLU. Home eight hours later would have been much earlier, but waited for six hour check, had skin to skin the whole time.

Second baby was born in water at home. He was born just before 11pm and midwives away just after 12am.

For me it was intense at transition only, it felt like a high. Had G&A with first and very little with the second. No intervention or stitches with either.

I loved my births and felt empowered, I was on a high from my homebirth for many days.

It's my son's birthday today. He's 11. I had the most perfect birth with him. He was born at home, with the sun beaming through the bedroom window.
I felt totally in control. He was a big baby, 9lb 8oz, but I just had G&A towards the end, no stitches.
I won't lie, my first birth didn't go to plan, so choosing to have him at home was the right choice.
Honestly, it was a lovely experience. He's a lovely kid.

I did pregnancy yoga which involved breathing exercises and visualisations. Helped me massively

I used gas and air until I got in the pool. The pain relief from the water was incredible - ended up not needing any more G&A. Birth was a very fast 3 hours (although DS was late so ended up being induced).

My experience was positive too. With DS2 I had just gas and air and spent most of labour in the birth pool.
It hurt a lot but never in a way I couldn't cope with. Until my waters broke was mostly easy. He was born an hour later. I had a small tear but nothing major and felt back to normal pretty much a few days after. And I'm a complete wimp when it comes to pain!
Good luck OP I hope you get the birth you want.

I had both of mine at home. First one just a tens and G&A, was pretty intense but ok (at least a couple of weeks later I came around to it being OK!!). Second one just a birth pool and it was fine and really easy.

I think it's really important to be happy and secure in your birth environment so you're relaxed and not stressed. It'll make the birth a lot easier.

Have a look to see if there's a Positive Birth Movement group near to you. They're on Facebook and it's a great way to meet other mums who are about to give birth or recently given birth and can share their positive experiences.

The place i live in they force you to birth naturally but I just had small contractions for 3 days and when I pushed it just stung a little. She was stuck by her shoulders but popped out soon after 😊. It's not bad it just feels like you have to really poo 😂.

I've had both extremes OP. I won't bore you...

IME when PG you will hear the 'eventful' stories much more than the uneventful ones- esp if you're the dad (dads telling gory stories have a lot to answer for). There are lots and lots and lots of uneventful births where it all goes broadly to plan and there isn't blood and guts and panic and all the things you hear. You won't hear them because they aren't interesting. - so you hear the eventful ones and then think it's all like that.

Make sure you have a think about what you might want in a few scenarios (induction, CS etc) as well as your ideal and make sure whoever will be with you knows your views.
Good luck

There is no way if knowing how any birth will go. I had 1 very positive, 1 negative and 1 very negative. After the birth from hell no one could have persuaded me that the next one would be quick and easy and practically pain free, but it was 😊 not even a single paracetamol was needed. Be prepared for the unexpected Andrew you will be fine.

I had two births without pain relief. I had no idea what hypnobirthing was about so didn't try any of those techniques, I just got on with it. I enjoyed the births. Don't expect it not to hurt, it will, and it will hurt a lot at times, but it's a different kind of pain to injuries. To start with your body is kicking out all kinds of hormones to help you cope, and the pain comes in waves with breaks so it isn't constant.

Listen to your body. The contractions come in waves, work with them not against them and it should feel natural and manageable.

The most important thing though is to accept that you may not get the birth you want due to circumstances outside your control. The baby may be positioned awkwardly, or may be in distress, in which case the medics may need to intervene. That's just how it is.

Good luck, and enjoy it. I'm sad that I will never go through it again.

Also a first time mum hear due in August. Just want to thank the OP and everyone who has shared their experiences. I am just loving hearing about everyone's stories and the tips about how the pain feels.

You often hear it hurts or stings but I am trying to gather as much info as possible about what to expect.

Thanks again and I want to keep popping back hoping for further posts xxx

*here not hear!

I had elective csections (due to medical stuff) with both DT and DD. The most recent was in the company of lovely staff who chatted with us and made me feel as positive as possible. The moment of birth was incredible and it was amazing to have DD wrapped up, lying next to me as I recovered. She latched on immediately in the recovery room and fed beautifully; wonderful memories.

I would have preferred a vaginal birth, but still see my experience as overwhelmingly positive.

Positive here. 2 natural births. No pain relief what so ever. Every one laughed at me when they heard what i wanted to do. But it was good. Not great. Not going to lie it hurt. But i had qhick births and i give credit to walking a hell of a lot or as much as i could and not taking pain relief as it can slow down the birth. You do what is best for you and if you find you need pain relief that is fine too.

Ignore others. Other parts of the birth didnt go tje way i planned. But it never will. Things happen. But regarding the main things, pain relief, who you want with you, where you want to be are your choices and should bot be criticised

Good luck and i hope it goes well for you. Ignore your crazy colleague, she obviously is jeakous of your decisions and projecting on you. You do whatever feels natural and right to you
X

Induction, all the drugs, episiotomy, blissful happy birth - happy me, happy baby.

Also go with the pain. Dont resist it. Just breathe and cocentrate. You fight the pain and it gets worse. Just let it wash over you. When i had a contraction i would kind of swallow in the pain and let it take over. It works if you just let go. Trust yourself. Your bosy knows what it needs to do. And try not to scream, can make the pain worse. Just let it wash over you. I did this 2 times and plan to with my 3rd due soon. But make sure you have your partner or whoever you choose with you as your voice as i was too quiet and was forgotten about. Twice. Make sure whoever is with you will speak up when you want someone to check you or you have questions etc