The pushing phase

[Wonderflonium]

I'm 32 weeks now and watching One Born Every Minute while I knit.

So, when it's the pushing phase I've noticed it's like the last 30 seconds of a room in the Crystal Maze
"PUSH THE BABY OUT! YOU CAN DO IT! KEEP GOING! GET THE CRYSTAL! COME ON!"
everyone's talking at once and it's all a jumble of excitement. And no one is saying anything that isn't pretty fecking obvious. It's not like the midwife is saying "wait a sec, give your perineum a bit to stretch, panting breaths now" she's saying "the thing you are physiologically unable to stop right now? keep doing that, ok!" over and over.

Are they doing it for the cameras or is that typical? How do you get them to tone it down? Am I just a grumpy pants?

(When people did this sort of stuff while I was learning to ride a bike/swim/skip/anything physical, I'd typically fall over because I couldn't handle the self-consciousness or the amount of processing power for understanding what they were saying and doing the thing on account of my dyspraxia, so I have a thing about cheerleading already)

Wonder Yes. You're given a number and based on that they decide if you're in labour or not. Despite the fact that some women can go from 4cms to 7cms in half an hour.

I had a home birth with DC1 and the midwives arrived while I was in transition and totally put me off my labour and I didn't get the urge to push. The midwives kept telling me to 'push when you feel the pain' and that pushing would ease the pain. Except my contractions didn't really hurt at all, while with pushing, I had to consciously and deliberately move that hard skill down over my vertebrae which was very unpleasant indeed.

Second time round I had proper uncontrollable pushing, which was much better.

It was calm for me. My husband offered kind words of encouragement, saying it was nearly over and how well I was doing.
All I had in my room in the birth centre was the midwife and the student midwife. She only said things like "on your next contraction push", and "pant for a minute now", so I knew what to do at that particular moment.
It wasn't a mad rush or me all over the place. I ended laying back on the bed, my husband holding my hand and still covered on top. No major sweating or dh wiping my face with w flannel. Even the midwife said I did well with it all, especially after such a long early labour.

I actually ended up arriving at hospital at 10cm (no idea I was so far along) .... DP waited until contrax were 3 mins apart before he INSISTED we go to the hospital ( I was q happy at home and thought we had hours to go....) and bundled me into a cab - so mercifully had mins of the awful centimetre checks/ disappointments to deal with.

But cautionary tale - hypnobirthing makes you seem to be in much earlier labour than you are, often, which can fool midwives/ you/ partners etc ... When I arrived at hospital they offered me paracetamol - thinking I was early stages ... 5 mins later they were ushering me into a delivery suite in a fair amount of haste

I actually needed all the shouting and encouragement. I didn't have the "urge" to push that you hear of, so I had to rely on the midwife telling me

Yes this was me! I'd been pushing for ages (dd was sideways so was taking longer than normal to come out) and was getting incredibly tired, they were close to having to intervene with Caesarian when the midwives switched over and the new one had so much energy and was shouting that I could do it and that she didn't want any doctors getting involved . I honestly think she helped me find that last bit of energy and get dd out and I'm eternally grateful to her for that.

And yes I had no urge to push either, I had to keep asking when it was time to push!

Seventeen I'm watching OBEM to remind me why I want a homebirth. All my friends are like "oh homebirth? Isn't that DANGEROUS?!" So I need to counteract the messages from my buddies.

The cascades of intervention!

I've noticed they're almost always on their back and I keep seeing the midwives insisting on TRY THE GAS AND AIR even when their patient is telling them "no thanks, I'm ok"

The thing that grinds my gears the most is all the "good girl!" shit that goes on. GOOD GIRL? I say that to my dog when she sits on command!

And another thing!
I hate how the show plays the woman's discomfort for laughs. There's one bit where the partner is saying "I think she'll be a right crybaby" and then they smash cut to her shouting and screaming "OMG THAT HURTS IS THERE ANY OTHER WAY?!?"
Except, she's not crying about labour, she's crying about the internal examination.
In my book, the midwife should have taken her fecking hand out the second the patient started yelling in pain. That'd be the case if she wasn't pregnant. Or it should be.

I am still on a OBEM bender though, it's a real love-hate relationship I have got going on.

They was shooting OBEM in the hospital I gave birth to my first in. They must have had a shortage for eager candidates because I was approached and asked to take part 3x times while I was waiting for scans etc throughout the pregnancy. As did all the other women waiting. Nope. I'd rather not have thousands of people stare at my chuff on TV. I would then really rather not the cast of gogglebox get to critique the whole thing!

FFS what is going on with me today? I need more sleep I recon.

I meant *and i would really rather the cast of gogglebox didn't get to critique the whole thing too!

You made the right choice, Alice.

OBEM scares me & I've 6 dc.

I only felt the urge to push with my first.
But noone has ever shouted at me whilst i was giving birth. Encouraged, helped & advised but not shouted at.

Good luck.

listen to your body - it knows what to do!

Nope. Also of the no urge to push camp. My body did NOT know what to do. I was fully dilated for 8hrs and ended up with a failed manual rotation, failed ventouse, emcs and pph.

And I was at home for the majority of labour. Including lots of upright pushing / birth pool. I ended up with a cascade of intervention because I needed it. Just a small reminder that intervention isn't always a result of doing it "wrong" and the dichotomy of drugs/intervention = bad and home/drug free/hypnobirthing = good can be as damaging of needless intervention.

I think a lot depends on the position of your uterus and the baby. I thought I would "breathe" the baby out. Unfortunately, after an hour or so of that in various positions it became obvious that wasn't going to work for me. It was another 90 minutes of very hard work, legs in stirrups and chin on chest that finally got her out. Not at all how I had imagined it! I needed the rather vocal encouragement from the midwives as I was ready to give up.

On the other hand, I have friends who delivered their babies in about two pushes. I wonder if I found it harder because I have a very retroverted uterus (and a big baby).

Oh sorry ShowofHands, I don't mean to say intervention is bad. I'm glad they intervened with you!

I thought a "cascade of intervention" specifically meant when intervention caused the complications in the first place, not as in "they have to keep trying more and more things to get everyone through it safely when a complication emerges."

I couldn't not push. When I started a little bit, My husband said "what are you doing?! Stop it!"I think he thought I needed to wait to be "told". However, I made everyone be quiet and shut up during pushing. I did not want any cheerleading at all, the midwife had never in all her career had someone do that!

Write your wishes in your birth plan and be sur to discuss it with the MW beforehand? Prime your OH to remind the midwives at the appropriate point and tell them to tone it down if needed.

Worked for me 2 out of 3 times. The one it didn't nothing would have shut up the woman on autopilot. Really annoyed me, but I couldn't form the words "SHUT UP". Only something more like "ommmmgggrrrllnnnnggg"

I'm another who couldn't stop

I had midwives shouting at me to STOP pushing but I just couldn't.

Tore as a result

What's a PPH please?

PPH is post partum haemorrhage I think

Oh flip

Maybe this isn't the thread for someone staring down the barrel of an induction at 42 weeks!

Possibly not. Good luck with your labour Aye

Thanks Soubriquet.

Didn't get the urge first time round. DS1 was back to back, which probably explains it. With DS2 it was absolutely overwhelming and he was out in 3/4 pushes.

Aye, please don't panic. Does it help to know that I had another baby after the emcs/pph first time round? And it was another emcs and a joyful, happy, positive and uplifting time? An induction can be utterly positive too. The words induction or caesarean have become so loaded. My second caesarean in particular was fab.

OP don't apologise. You were lovely. Just sometimes on these threads there's a vein of anti intervention or an equating of easy birth with certain choices when it doesn't work like that. It was a general caution for intrepid first timers who might be reading.

Ironically, if I hadn't plumped for a homebirth and pool, some of my labour/delivery would have been different and some intervention avoided. Hindsight and useless but my "cascade" started with a positive decision.