40wks today. no longer want a homebirth cos i have no faith in mw. can i decide now to have elective cs?

[gigglinggoblin]

every mw all the way through has been crap quite honestly. none of them seem to know what they are doing, they all want to send me to consultant cos they dont trust their own judgement, i am so miserable and depressed at the constant not knowing what is going to happen. i def do not want to be induced, i hate hospitals and i dont want to go at all, but i think if i hold out for a homebirth they are going to panic and i will end up going in unnecessarily.

its getting to the point where i am not wanting the baby cos i am so stressed, and its all because of little trivial things they dont seem able to cope with.

today i was told i have to see consultant cos i am measuring 48cms - last week it was only 40. mw says baby feels huge, about 9.5lb possibly. i have already had 2 bigger than that so what is the sodding problem?

its not the first thing they wanted to send me in about, its the 3rd but i have refused to go in previously and consultant has checked my notes and seen no need to see me, which just reinforces my concerns

i have never encountered such a shower of muppets in any of my pregnancies before and i just dont trust them to know what they are doing. frankly i am scared they are going to screw up if i stay at home.

so any advice? need to decide fairly quickly obviously, dont know where to start

Just wanted to add that I agree totally with Aloha about not having to be induced. I was induced with ds1 at 41 + 3 because "the ward was quiet" and they would be busier the following week . Huge mistake - I was nowhere near ready and it took 3 days from first pessary til emergency section with every form of intervention in between. Don't agree to an induction if you don't feel happy doing it. You have given birth spontaneously before so you'll do it again.

Good luck.

The risk of stillbirth between 41 and 42 weeks is really, really low, about 1 in 1000 and even after that it's 1 in 500, so still very rare. Some places don't even offer induction until 42 weeks now.

Agree with funkimummy re overhanging tummy over scar. Please avoid CS if only for this reason
Funkimummy I also had breech and placenta praevia, we must have got our uteruses in the same shop!

gigglinggoblin, sorry you are loosing confidence.
oN the "we induce 10 days overdue rule"...it is NOT up to them, you are aboslutely within your right to say wait.
I think it's those lil things that are putting pressure onto you right now, with you dh saying you should do as you told, etc...does not help!
I hope you find a way to relax and just wait and see what happens...really wouldn't go for a C-section myself, I must admit, but I have never been induced....but you obviously had 1 child wihtout induction, if I read this correctly, so there is every chance that you can do that again, with the added bonus of being at home
Wish you best of luck!

I can totally sympathise, my consultant told me I was barmy wanting a hb, oh come on why would anyone not want to be in hosp!
Mw do have to cover their backs, the consultants shout at them if they dont (apparently!).
Finally managed to find a consultant that let me go 3 weeks over, I desperately wanted a hb after dd2 was unplanned hb. I had to give in then as was told risks got quite high after 3 weeks late, I cant stand hosps either.
I do remember my hormones getting the better of me a few times during that time though, large bar of choccy usually helped!
If the mw comes out when youre in labour and you are not keen on what she says or does, you can always transfer to hosp then, you are allowed to change your mind!

Can you set your mind to thinking of putting your worries to the back of your mind until you are 40+14? I have been overdue with my babies and found this was my best approach. The chances are you will go into labour spontaneously in that time. You haven't long to go now and your hormones are raging. Hide away with a book (or something you like doing)if it makes you feel better. Sounds a bit as though you've reached the stage where the outside world is becoming a bit of a nuisance to you. My irritation levels start to go off the scale in the last days before birth. Once labour starts everything will click into place for you. Sending lots of labour vibes your way.

The 'not knowing' really can muck with your brain. I remember thinking tgo myself that idt didn't really make any difference what the consultant said, my body was going to go into labour and I was going to give brith. And if I didn't want to go to hospital then the baby would be born at home. But you are so much under the thrall of the medical establishment when you are pg. It's virtually impossible to go it alone - far too scarey! Yet ultimately you will be going it alone - you are the one giving birth, no matter what they say about it and how they try to direct it.

Oh the relief when I was finnally signed off for hb, and how much I relaxed afterwards. I can completely understand how you feel ggg. Nothing foolish about it.

Can you perhaps try to concentrate on other aspects of getting ready for the birth? Prepare yourself as if you knew exactly where you will be labouring, prepare your house, birthplan, sort out childcare etc? Focus on what you want to happen, and let the rest follow. Remember that you can do it. You will give birth to this baby, you and nobody else. Everybody else around you will be there to help you. They cannot do anything you don't want them to do. You are the queen bee. You are the most important person.

thanks for all the support, it really helps. the last thing i have felt is that i am the most important person, i think i need to try and focus on that actually being the case, so far i have just felt like a nuisance who is causing a fuss for no reason which thinking about it isnt really true is it.

the outside world is definately a source of iritation! i have banned visitors between 10 and 5 and am ignoring the phone cos im sick of being asked how i am when people only really want to know if the baby has arrived. i have become a very grumpy old woman!

i didnt know the stats til you posted them daisymoo, i have had a look at a couple of papers on sciencedirect which i can now direct dh to, that should help things a lot (he will listen to that sort of thing but not general warblings so should def help!)

am off for a cup of tea and another clary sage oil rub, fingers crossed

Until this baby arrives you and your baby are now the centre of the universe. Have everyone else do it your way. You're entitled.

try some visualisation while you are doing your massage !

thought i would update cos i hate when threads finish and you dont know how things turned out!

i would really like to thank everyone who offered so much positive advice on here, it was really helpful and made me decide i would go for the home birth.

i started having contractions early wed morning and later i felt my waters leaking (turned out to be hind waters only). mw came round on wed as i should have gone to clinic but didnt feel up to it. i think she could tell i was quite determined and we had quite a long chat. she said that as head wasnt engaged her main worry was that if my forewaters went with a gush the cord could fall below the head, then could get squashed by the head coming down so i had to ring in as soon as it happened. felt quite relaxed at this point. contractions never became very regular but were quite painful. waters did go with a gush early thurs morning and i was so paranoid about the cord we rang in immediately, mw came speeding out. i made dh have a look and he could see meconium everywhere, so we rang back to delivery suite who sent out an ambulance. mw arrived, then ambulance, then my parents to look after other kids. off we rushed, got to hospital and was examined, baby turned out to be breech. have to admit i wasnt really with it at this point and was happy to take the emergency cs as consultant felt baby was too big to try for natural birth without serious risk. anyway all ended wonderfully, we are back home, ds was 9lb11 and is perfect

the reason i am so glad i got all the support is that if i hadnt stuck to my guns about homebirth i dont think i would have had the chat with the mw, i wouldnt have been as worried when my waters went and i may well have stayed at home. i shudder to think what could have happened then as i was 8cm dilated when we got to hospital and i would not have even classed myself as being in established labour, the contractions didnt feel strong enough or regular enough. the thought of an unplanned homebirth with a nearly 10lb breech baby and no mw is not a happy one!

i have also learnt an important lesson not to be so smug because i clearly dont know it all even though it was baby number four!

so thanks again ladies

Lovely to hear about Mr. Perfect. So glad it all turn out well.

How's the section recovery?

not too bad so far, am doing nothing at all round the house, just making the occasional cup of tea so fingers crossed all should be well. pain not any worse than after normal delivery

Fantatic. How is BF (asuming you are BFing)? And how is sitting up in the middle of the night - that was the worst. Have you taken arnica?

havent got round to buying any arnica, was on my 'to do' list but never quite got there. bf going fine thanks, was very surprised he took to it as well as he did, i imagined after cs it wouldnt happen the same but he just clamped himself on and would happily stay there all day. have found the actual sitting up isnt much fun, but at least when you get there you are ok, with normal delivery you can sit up but have to sit over to one side for a few weeks til you heal a bit

delighted to hear of the safe arrival of your LO ..xxxxxx

thanks lulu, you give some amazing advice and i was so much calmer after this thread, made a massive difference

Congratulations, and welcome to your new boy!

So glad things worked out well for you in the end, gg. Funny, isn't it, how entirely the opposite can happen to what you wished for, and yet it turns out to be the best thing.

Haveyou tried feeding lying on your side?

Well done.

Congratulations! I was thinking about you the other day. So pleased to hear you are home with your ds and that the feeding is going well.

yes, congratulations! I was thinking about you too and hoping you were OK. Great to hear your ds arrived safely.