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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

If you had a c section, did you have visitors after? Were you up to it?

48 replies

UntakenUser · 26/10/2016 21:53

I have a planned section booked in a couple of weeks. I'm very nervous, I've never had any sort of surgery before.

Chatting to DH tonight it transpired that he's imagining a big, bedside celebration with our toddler, his mum, etc, pretty much hours after I'll have given birth. The thought is terrifying. I hate people being round me when I'm feeling ill. Will it be okay or am I right in saying i just want a bit of space?

He's doing the sad face at the thought of it just being me, him and new one.

OP posts:

vitalite · 26/10/2016 22:00

I had a scheduled c sec at 4pm and had my in laws (with my 2 older ds's) and parents up to hospital for visiting that evening between 6.30 and 8, not all at the same time tho, staggered over the hour and a half. Anyway, it was fine, baby was still really sleepy so all I had to do was lie there and chat to them. Actually easier than having visitors after a long labour and vaginal birth, imo.

SauvignonPlonker · 26/10/2016 22:03

I thought the day of the section was far better than than the day after. I was still numb from the spinal so not in pain, but the next day I really struggled to get up, showered etc.

hazeyjane · 26/10/2016 22:07

No visitors for me apart from dh. Even my dds didn't see me until the next day, and then I wouldn't have wanted anyone apart from dh and the dds for a week after.

Applecarts · 26/10/2016 22:11

He needs to fuck off with his sad face for a start. As well as a birth, this is major abdominal surgery, and difficult for you to predict now how you'll feel immediately afterwards. And yes, in this sense, it's all about you, because you're the one who'll have the catheter, incision and epidural/spinal block and be trying to establish bf. You might feel fine, but you might feel woozy and slightly nauseated, as I did. I certainly didn't feel up to company. Don't commit to anything in advance.

Xuli · 26/10/2016 22:17

I had a section this morning. I've had my parents and 4yo DD over this evening. It was ok, I feel alright BUT I'm glad it was close family who I'm not embarrassed around. I'm very hot and needed to give the baby skin to skin so I was sitting there sort of half dressed, half undressed, and I'm probably a bit spaced out from tiredness and drugs.

Our hospital only allows 3 visitors at any one time, so your probably not allowed the big 'party' he wants.

Personally I've felt ok seeing a few people and would have been fine too with polite in laws - but only for a short visit, and with people I knew would not be loud or demanding

welshweasel · 26/10/2016 22:21

I was back on the ward at lunchtime after mine and had my stepdaughter to visit that evening (and DH obviously). Felt fine as spinal still not worn off so little pain. My parents popped up the next afternoon for visiting and I found that much harder as I was feeling really emotional, knackered and sore. I'd play it by ear but not agree to anything!

Imnotaslimjim · 26/10/2016 22:22

I had a ELCS for DD. I had her at 10am, was back on the ward for 12. DH left me for 2 hours while he went to get DS and broughht him back to meet his sister. I had my parents and the in-law's that evening. As a PP mentioned, the day of the surgery was easier than the day after as the anaesthetic was still effective so I wasn't in any pain.

The day after surgery I was grumpy, in pain and bed-ridden (I had complications with SPD) and couldn't face seeing anyone other than DH and requested no visitors.

FirstTimerAtBeingAMummy · 26/10/2016 23:22

I had a c section in the early hours and was in the shower and up and about by 1 pm the next day. The midwives encouraged this but by the time visiting hours came I was surprisingly shattered. But all my family and DPs family had turned up and to be honest I was really overwhelmed to the point of feeling panicky. Luckily my DP could tell and sort of shuffled people around so it eased off a bit. It's such a big event and everyone reacts differently. If I were you I wouldn't commit to it all just yet but tell you DP that you will see how the procedure effects you and base it on that afterwards.

5minutestobed · 27/10/2016 11:00

First section was during the night and I had visitors that evening, second section was at 11am but I wanted a bit of peace and quiet with just the baby so didn't have visitors until the next afternoon. It really just depends how you are feeling, can you just wait and see?

sebashocked · 27/10/2016 11:13

I had emergency C-section at 30 weeks and two of DH's colleagues who I had only met on a couple of occasions turned up an hour after, followed by in-laws. Was too-spaced out and anxious to hear how DS was doing in NICU to tell them all to fuck off.
I really think the visitors can wait a day (or longer) to come and see you. I'd suggest that you enforce a strict by-invitation-only policy when you feel ready.

NipSlipper · 27/10/2016 11:18

My first c-section - yes, we had visitors the following day and I absolutely hated it. I still had a catheter and drip in my arm when the first lot arrived and felt really vulnerable, absolutely knackered and really not up to making small alk. I was also really weird about people holding my newborn for a few days, so the 'oh, lets have a cuddle' from visitors was really hard to take.

Weirdly, second time around I banned visitors bar my DH and toddler, mum and sister because of how hard I found it first time around...but I actually felt much more relaxed and brighter after that section, and would have quite enjoyed a few close friends coming to see me

DontStopMovinToTheSClubBeat · 27/10/2016 11:29

Sebashocked, I can't believe your DH's colleagues turned up!! You poor thing!!

sebashocked · 27/10/2016 11:42

Thanks Don'tstop. I can laugh about it now but honestly ...who does that? OP stand your ground.

freewheezy · 27/10/2016 18:34

My mum and sister were waiting for me when I came back which was good because dd went to SCBU so it kept my mind off that.
I would say that you will call people when you feel ready. You might feel great afterwards and want to show off baby but if you're feeling emotional and in a lot of pain it's just an extra thing to worry about.
Definitely true what pp say about feeling better the day of so if you can get it over with then, I would. The 2nd day is hard work. Get as much sleep as you can the night before :) good luck.

LuckySantangelo1 · 27/10/2016 18:41

You won't kinks what time you'll be operated on so its impossible to plan. By the time I was on the post natal ward it was after visiting hours (not that I was fussed; i didn't want anyone apart from my husband there). You'll be feeling groggy, sore, have a catheter in, be trying to establish breastfeeding & bond with your baby. I was very pleased to not have visitors until I got home!

SheepyFun · 27/10/2016 19:23

We didn't have any visitors for a week, which was what we needed. In this region, you're discharged 24 hours after a c-section (I had to ask to stay an extra hour to bathe!) - might be worth checking what is normal where you are? We also had really strict visiting hours (5-7 pm only for anyone except your partner) and they were enforced. Can you find out in advance what your local hospital allows so that you can think through what you can cope with. There may also be restrictions on how many visitors you can have at once - that might shut down the family party! Do what works for you, and hope it goes well.

ArcticMumkey · 27/10/2016 19:28

Not until the next afternoon. Wanted it just me and DH for the first day as he had to leave the ward at 10pm. I would have been up to it physically but you will never get a chance again to have that special time just the 3 of you.

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 27/10/2016 19:30

I had a planned section at about 11am, by 5pm it was lovely to see the family. I had about 7 visitors the day of the section & a few more the next day, I was ready for it & loved seeing them all

talulahbelle · 27/10/2016 19:36

No visitors at all until we got home. DD was born on the Monday, home Wednesday late afternoon and my family visited on the Thursday.
I'm glad, coping with a catheter, bleeding, in some pain and trying to BF it was a lot nicer being just our little family.

Clickncollect · 27/10/2016 19:41

Christ on a bike, no thanks!! I had a non-emergency c section after 3 failed inductions, no dilation, lots of cramping for 2 days and zero sleep.
How about everyone comes round a day or so after you get home from hospital where you can plot yourself on the sofa and DH can wait on everybody?

ShowOfHands · 27/10/2016 19:42

I was discharged 12hrs after my first emcs and she was born late at night so no time for visitors.

After my second emcs, I was desperate to see dc1 and my parents so they arrived 90 minutes post surgery. I then had a shower while they cooed over the baby (5hrs post surgery) and they left me watching Saturday night tv, breastfeeding and eating all the custard.

Just see how you feel.

Clickncollect · 27/10/2016 19:42

Oh and also, hospital policy may dictate that the large amount of visitors he is planning is not allowed anyway!
My hospital only allowed husband plus
One other with very strict time
Restrictions

WordGetsAround · 27/10/2016 19:46

I had lots of visitors after my emergency section. DH managed them - making sure they were staggered and only there for about 45 mins. All were close friends or family. Was lovely to be able to share our new baby and pass the time. Much easier than having guests at home!

ParaPrincess · 27/10/2016 19:51

I had an emergency section after 3 days failed induction. I was really ill and my son ended up in scbu. Horrible time for visitors. My parents plus inlaws = too much too soon.

ConvincingLiar · 28/10/2016 07:08

You might feel up to it and might want visitors, but you might not. Certainly don't commit to anything in advance. Tell them you'll tell them as soon as they can visit. The advantage of hospital visitors is that they cant stay long and there's no expectation of you hosting. If DH is a bit thoughtless midwives might take charge of people are overstaying their welcome.

I had an EMCS under GA at about 12:30am. Saw DH, my mum and baby when I can round (I guess 2am but I'm not sure). Think I saw DH in the day time, then my dad, sister and bil visited at 5 for visiting hours. I was pleased to see them and to show off my baby. I didn't mind if I looked rough.

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