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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

If you had a c section, did you have visitors after? Were you up to it?

48 replies

UntakenUser · 26/10/2016 21:53

I have a planned section booked in a couple of weeks. I'm very nervous, I've never had any sort of surgery before.

Chatting to DH tonight it transpired that he's imagining a big, bedside celebration with our toddler, his mum, etc, pretty much hours after I'll have given birth. The thought is terrifying. I hate people being round me when I'm feeling ill. Will it be okay or am I right in saying i just want a bit of space?

He's doing the sad face at the thought of it just being me, him and new one.

OP posts:

Applesauce29 · 29/10/2016 22:33

My'D'H wanted the same bedside party fantasy. We did have immediate family visit on first day which I actually surprisingly found ok (on lots of strong drugs), but he wanted the same on second evening and we had a massive fight about it - made him send his mother home, as I couldn't face seeing anyone, especially her, not even my own mother, just wanted peace and quiet with new baby and not to have other people hold her and make small talk.

Applesauce29 · 29/10/2016 22:35

Oh, and at home I didn't want to get out of pj's or feel like walking further than ensuite for over a week, and not really up for visitors for another week again - even two weeks after was exhausting!

eurochick · 29/10/2016 22:45

I had my section at 9pm. I had quite an odd reaction to something and so was hot and sort of feverish overnight (not actually fever as there was no infection -still have no idea what happened). I don't remember much of the night. I think I was wheeled back to the ward around midnight. Didn't get much sleep due to all the monitoring. Woke at 5-6ish desperate for a shower as I could smell myself and desperate to see baby (it was a planned section at 34 weeks as she wasn't doing well). Had painkillers and once those kicked in had a shower with the help of the midwife. I felt sick and close to passing out. Was wheeled down to see my baby in nicu. By the afternoon I could manage a slow shuffle down to see her, with my husband's help. Our first visitors came then (my parents and bil) but no one stayed long. I was pleased to have the distraction TBH. But I wouldn't have wanted a bedside party or long visits.

MrsNuckyThompson · 29/10/2016 22:46

The day after you'll be fine. I would have probably been fine the same day but had DS after 10pm at night.

There's also an element of just wanting time alone, the two of you, with your new precious bundle. Regardless of method of delivery.

Section is fine by the way. Don't fret.

Flumplet · 29/10/2016 22:59

I had a late c-sec so managed to get an over night reprieve before visitors. They all descended the next mornint after a night of trying to cope with a cluster feeding 10lb screaming baby and I was laid there with a catheter looking decidedly puffy, feeling and looking ropey in all the pics. "Don't worry Flump, we won't show these pics to anyone else, you don't look your best". - my father in law. In other words, I wouldn't feel pressurised in to having visitors to the hospital at all if I were you. Have them come when you get home if that's what you want. Else fails, make your OH actually watch the surgery including them stitching you back up and hopefully that might make him more understanding.

elliejjtiny · 29/10/2016 23:55

DS4 was born at 9:46am and I was on the postnatal ward at about 12:30pm. DH, MIL, FIL and my 3 older boys (then aged nearly 7, 5 and 2.5) came after school although PIL only stayed for a few minutes. I wasn't in pain as long as I didn't move but I did feel quite dopey and not with it. The next day was worse though as I was in more pain and expected to be up and about.

loulily27 · 06/11/2016 08:54

I had emergency section at 430am. Had a reaction to the spinal so was throwing up, shaking violently, sweating profusely and then went into a very heavy sleep for a good few hours so visitors would have been a waste of time. The visitors weren't allowed in til 4pm, by then I was feeling a lot better. The nurse told me to have a shower and without my sister I don't know how I would have done it, she told me a week or so later I looked pale as hell and like I was gonna pass out!

I would save visitors til at least 12hours after and people u r comfortable with. Good luck x

Dozer · 06/11/2016 09:00

Your H needs to sort out his priorities!

I found bf really hard after my first C section and with that, the catheter, pain from the surgery and lochea would have really hated visitors. The second time I did decide to have visitors, but just to help with elder DD and leaving the hospital.

Also DD1 screamed a LOT in her first days and DH was needed to look after her.

Dozer · 06/11/2016 09:01

Oh yes, and second time was sick on myself and the baby (post anaesthetic), and got the shakes and started crying! So wouldn't have wanted in laws there!

sandgrown · 06/11/2016 09:40

Had planned CS at 2pm and family visitors that evening. I had told eldest DS not to come until the following day(he was some distance away) in case I was drowsy but I was fine. When he came the following day lots of friends arrived so was unable to spend time alone with him and his new brother.

slenderisthenight · 06/11/2016 09:42

They were very strict at mine. Only two visitors at a time. No kids unless siblings.

He can stop with the sad face business. It's all about you and what you need to feel calm.

Rinceoir · 06/11/2016 09:51

I doubt the hospital will allow so many people!

I had an emcs after 24hours labour, complicated by an infection and pph so was certainly in no state for lots of entertaining whilst feverish, dizzy and trying to get breastfeeding established. But I really appreciated having a single visitor at a time for short periods (who I would generally have lift the baby, dress the baby and change the baby)- it allowed DH get home to get clean clothes etc for us and let him have a rest too.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/11/2016 09:57

I think it's reasonable to let his mum/dad see the new baby on the day but apart from that just see how you feel.

NerrSnerr · 06/11/2016 09:58

'The day after you'll be fine'

You can't know this 100% so I would play it by ear and see how you are. I had my section at 10am but had a bleed afterwards so spent the day and night after in HDU so wasn't allowed any extra visitors. The day after I was still very groggy and still bleeding quite a lot so really didn't feel up for visitors. We waited until I was discharged (after 4 days in).

SpotTheDuck · 06/11/2016 10:06

He can do "sad face" all he wants. You're the one having major abdominal surgery, so this is entirely your call.

Ask him how he'd feel if he woke up from an appendectomy or bowel removal operation to find your family grinning down at him and wanting to chat.

The fact that there'll be a new baby to fuss over doesn't change the fact that you are the one having surgery, and your wishes override his!

Tell him you'll have to decide on the day whether or not it's a good idea, depending on how you feel. Emphasise in advance that you're likely to be feeling weird, hormonal, etc and it would be very unfair to pressure you into anything when you're so vulnerable.

And then don't get drawn into any further discussion!

jimijack · 06/11/2016 10:07

No, I was home within 48 hours, so most folk came then.
Also, same policy as other posters, 2 people at a time only. Only dh and ds came once or twice.

I felt really well afterwards if it helps op, was up very quickly, as soon as feeling came back. Took painkillers regularly, showered and breastfeeding as soon as I could.

Afterward was walking ds 2 to school & back pushing the pram in the snow 10 days after my section, felt great!

UsernameChat · 06/11/2016 17:38

I don't think you can plan visitors. You really don't know how the operation will go and how you and the baby will be afterwards. (I don't say this to scare you by the way, just to highlight that everyone is on a sliding scale when it comes to birth and recovery. Even if you've had a baby before, each birth and recovery is different.)

I would suggest waiting until several hours after the c-section (at least) before deciding whether you want visitors and when they can come. I had an emergency c-section. The c-section itself had some complications, but real problems didn't arise until a few hours afterwards, when I started hemorraging. Give yourself time to take stock, not to mention enjoy spending time with your baby before everyone else wants to hold them!

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing what is best for you.

oldlaundbooth · 07/11/2016 16:59

Having a section is a similar surgical procedure to having a hysterectomy, would you want visitors the same day after that?

I had a section and we had visitors the day after and even that was a bit much.

maroda16 · 07/11/2016 17:19

I had an emergency cs in April, ds was born late evening and I had visitors from about 4pm the next day, both families came but not all at the same time, 2 at a time and we were inundated once we got home but we let them come. I didn't really mind, I was dying to show my beautiful baby to everyone!! Felt a bit weird everyone seeing me in pyjamas though!! Best of luck, enjoy your lovely baby and don't stress about the visitors!!

W8woman · 08/12/2016 16:44

Had an elective c-section in a private hospital with no complications and great post-operative care and pain relief but still couldn't deal with any visitors other than our parents. We're all different. Make no plans now: you can always summon people to your bedside if you need company and distraction.

HeddaGabbler · 08/12/2016 16:50

Op's probably had the baby by now...

Sparrowlegs248 · 09/12/2016 19:43

I had elcs at 12lunchtime, dh was there with me until about 6pm. Mil came around 8 for a short time, she's very quiet and nice and tbh it was nice nit to be totally on my own as I still hasn't been moved onto the ward.

My parents and sister came the next day at about 2pm, but only two at a time. I asked them not to bring nephews as I wasn't up to its.

mum2Bomg · 12/12/2016 06:54

I had contractions for four days and then an EMCS a week ago today. Had no one at the hospital except DH and Mum and Sister visited me at home the next day. I felt and looked awful but hadn't slept for an age. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else at the hospital. Everyone else visited after day 4/5 and I was feeling much better and had managed to get some sleep. Am feeling pretty normal now the stitches have been taken out but don't rush things, you really won't feel up to having meaningful conversations with anyone and, personally, I wasn't ready to share my DD with anyone but DH until we went home the next day. Hope it all goes well and you enjoy your little one

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