Help giving birth and...........................!

[BabyMadwithBump]

(TMI WARNING) I was watching a birth on telly last week and as this woman was pushing her baby out she was also pooing alot, now I'm so scared of doing the same, also having nightmares about it please advice needed, due to thinking about home birth and MIL will be there and possible SIL, as well as DH, help!

Do you want to have your MIL an SIL as birth partners? If not, then they have no business being in the room with you while you give birth, whatever they may say. If you do, then they have to cope with whatever they see, it's not your job to make it 'nice' for them.

As for the pooing, there is nothing you can do about it, and the midwives will not care about it. Neither will you, because you'll bbe so busy. Why not talk to your dh about it, ask him not to tell you if you do and certainly not to tell your ILs or anyone else? It's not a big deal, and not something you need to deal with if you don't want to.

AFAIK I didn't poo myself with my first two births, even though dd really did feel as though she was coming out of my bottom. With my third I asked "Is what I can feel a poo or the baby coming?" At first the midwife was telling me not to worry about it, but I insisted. Yes, it was a poo, but, apart from a "DAMN, I've been going to the loo so much today that I was sure I'd cleared my ssytem out!" I couldn't have cared less.

Honest, you'll have much more on your mind than a bit of poo. As your body uses the same muscles for pooing and labour, that's nothing you can do about it.
YOu can always keep family away fom the "business end" and MWs are ultra discreet if you do poo.

Honest, you'll have much more on your mind than a bit of poo. As your body uses the same muscles for pooing and labour, that's nothing you can do about it.
YOu can always keep family away fom the "business end" and MWs are ultra discreet if you do poo.

I was scared of that too. My dh said I did poo, but you know what I didnt care cos I didnt know about it. It was only when I pressed dh that he admitted (even now I cant be sure he isnt winding me up) All very discreet and normal. Midwifes see it all the time.

you won't really care if you do...i remember whispering to dh ' i think i've done a poo' and being mortified when he shouted to midwife 'she thinks she's done a poo!'!!! mw said 'great, means you're using the right muscles!!'

Im very close to IL's and was thinking if i do have a home birth i would like them there, my first DS my mum and gran were there for the birth and i cant remember doing a poo then, DH was with me with my other DS and Ive asked DH if i did a poo then he said no, DH dosen't like poo, sick or anything like that so worried now, i knew it could happen but when i watched that footage she was pooing alot, so worred now!

i think virtually everyone poos to some extent in labour...and the midwife will whisk it away discreetly.....as pretty candles have said,if you don;t want MIL and SIL there. don;t have them there! you do not want anyone in the birth who is going to distract you or make you uneasy or feel less comfortable

i remember with DD, getting the urge to push, thinking oh , i hope i don;t poo....then thinking, sod it, i have to get this baby out now !! so you will not be worrying at the time.....

please don;t let it give you nightmares....

as the baby comes down , it presses on the rectum, so anything in there, has to come out !

also, your body quite often clears out naturally before labour, through diaorrea and / or vomiting, so there might not be too much left in there!

either way, you won;t be the first and you won;t be the last woman to poo in labour !

If you dh is like that then best he stay up at the top end. TBH, I didn't really want my dh to see me stretching etc (didn't want to put him off!) and I'm not sure he really wanted to see it either, so I was very glad to have him always within reach so that I could grab hold of him whenever I needed. I think that any birth partner I might have had I would have wanted to stay at the top end so that I could hold on to them whenever I needed.

DH loved the fect he saw his son being born from start to finsh he still goes on about it now DS is 5 in june, and I hope he has that again with this little one but without the added pooing, I will talk to my MW about it hopefully she'll put my mind at rest!

Yikes, I dreaded that so much and was told by my MW that its normal, I won't notice and that it will be discreetly scooped away. She was only right on the first bit.

First birth, it stank and I had to scream at my husband to get rid of it (I was in a kneeling position). Second, I think it was the same.

Third, oh my god. There seemed to be loads and it made me feel sick and I'd had indian the night before - if only I'd known! Also I had the birth photographed by another midwife (bit quiet that night) and theres plenty visible in a lot of the photos but my midwife bless her was using tissue to try and minimise the mess. Even on baby's face in one picture poor thing. Remember smelling it for ages after too.

Sorry - not what you want to hear but it's reality and you can't help it and its really only you who cares about it.

Oh, and another thing - don't have a birthing pool - could end up with turds floating around.

My midwife told me that if there's anything further south than the baby's head then its coming out and theres nothing you can do! I reckon it must happen to a lot of women they just don't fess up to it...

I very smugly told dh after ds (my first) - hah, at least I didn't poo ... he pointed out that I had, actually pooed rather a lot. Seriously, you really won't know or care....

an entire thread about pooing during birth!

and another!

really won't care. honest. in fact, i'm sure my midwife told me to push down "as if you were having a big poo!" so the inevitable will happen. but i'm sure that you will not care at the time.

though having said that, i remember not being bothered about pooing at all, but desperately trying not to fart at one point!

According to DP (who was really squeamish and wanted to stay at the head end then got really into it) I had one small poo with DD1 and loads with DD2, he said the MWs whisked it away (with DD2 he helped them ). I really couldn't have cared less what was going on at the time and the MWs are very discreet about it.

DP couldn't give a toss really he was so in awe that I had produced a baby out of my body that a bit of poo is nothing. I think it brought us even closer together TBH.

Thanks everyone, thanks lulumama I've read the treads (great, funny story's) and I think if I do have my homebirth it'll just be my MW (hopefully MW and I have a good relationship by then and also tell her that I'm worried about it and DH seeing and then she can make sure he doesn't see I hope)and DH, at the hospital I really don't care what they think if I did do a poo as I'm never going to see them again, I think I'm just going to have to have a sit down chat with DH tell him all the things I'm worried about and hopefully that way if anything does happen I hope we've prepared our self for things, IYSWIM, Thanks again!

We can buy a small enema (microlax) from the chemists to use at the start of labour. Far more comfortable then labouring and giving birth with a full bowel. And you can administer it yourself in total privacy.

Right had THAT chat with DH he just say dont you dare sh!t on my baby now thats made me feel loads better

Thats it not letting him in the room when I gave birth now!
MEN!

Maybe he thought he was making joke.

It's upset me abit because I was starting to feel much better about it, only to be pulled stright back down, I'll talk to him about it again tonight, I did say I was really worried about and that I had open a tread about it as I was that worried only to say that stright after! Oh well we'll see after I few more chats!
Babymadxx

tell him if he can't deal with the possibility that you'll find another birth partner as the absolute last thing you need to be worrying about during labour is whether dh will be upset

i don't know or care whether i did and i know dp is the same, it's come up in conversation during both pregs and he's not a bit pushed.... his exact words were 'i'd be more surprised if you didn't'

Don't feel down, babymad! I sometimes think that men operate on a default setting called 'blurt out whatever comes into your head' - I'm sure that if you talk about your worries with him again, he'll understand. The main thing to bear in mind is that it is totally normally to poo whilst in labour and it happens to most women. I know I did when I had my first two - the midwives at the time were great about it and simply whipped it away with a minimum of fuss. They deal with this all the time and are quite used to it. I'm now expecting my third and hoping to use a birthing pool - I do have worries about pooing in the pool and trying to concentrate on my breathing but ending up being distracted by a great big floater bobbing past! I mentioned this to my midwife, who laughed it off and told me that they have use nets to whip any floaters away.

Please don't worry yourself about it too much - as has been said already, you really will be far too preoccupied to notice or even care!!

I told him how it very poosable for it to happen and how it happens, like a tube of tooth paste, and he just said well you better make sure you go to the loo first then , but I will have a cross chat with him tonight!

babymad as you know i had ds 7 weeks ago,you or your dh wont be aware of anything else going on other than the excitement of baby coming out i was also really worried about this as i have v stubborn bowels .
But it was fine i wasnt aware of it if i did or if i didnt,i kept dh top end until his head was coming out then he was permitted to have a quick gawp.Best of luck how long have you got now?