why don't midwives believe you?

[Colabottle10]

30+1 here and starting to think about giving birth.

I read time and time again that MWs don't believe you when you say your waters have broken/lost your plug/not in active labour and then your babies are born an hour or so later so it's too late for pain relief.

This petrifies me. Why don't they believe you?

With DS1 everything happened so quickly and at 35+5. I had a bloody show, my waters went minutes later and when I arrived at the hospital one of the midwives was trying to tell me to lay on the bed so she could strap the monitor to me. I kept telling her I couldn't lay still as it was far too painful and something was going on. She snapped at me and said "Why are you crying?! It doesn't hurt!" and left.

5 minutes later DH left the cubicle and returned with a different midwife who immediately examined me and said I was 6cm and needed to go to L&D. She was absolutely lovely and even reprimanded the other midwife as she was wheeling me down (probably unprofessional but made me feel better)

So if I'd have spoken to her in the first place my experience would have been completely different.

Well, iv lost my waters once at 36 weeks and was told to go up and get checked. So, I was believed. Next time at 38 weeks, again waters started trickling and was invited Up. They had and I was believed.

Third pregnancy I woke in the night with my body pushing having not felt one contraction or having any waters leaking. She didn't believe me and was dubious as to how I was actually in labour but told me to come up. Got there and my son Was born pretty quickly. After a midwife came in who said she'd answered the phone and didn't believe I was in labour but was so busy she didn't have time to stay on the phone so said to come up and apologised for not believing me.

So, put of three times only once have I not been believed but was still told to go up. It's nothing to worry or be scared about. If it comes to it you just go straight there.

Unfortunately I believe many midwifes still believe in textbook labours. I was told the first time I'd be in labour for about twenty hours still as it was my first. An hour and ten minutes later my dd was born. You will quickly prove them wrong. You just stick to your guns until you are checked if need be.

My midwife was lovely. I was put on the drip at 4cm and had intermittent monitoring. The monitor never once showed a proper contraction and after 7 hours they were talking about c sections. Then I said I needed to poo (I had a mobile epidural so I wasn't feeling much pain but still had sensation) and my midwife was right on the ball, she knew that despite what the monitor said I was ready to push and she was right. She was a great midwife.

I had this in the delivery suite. Part of me still wants to read the notes about my birth for this reason. MW wouldn't believe I was having contractions because they weren't on the monitor & she couldn't feel them when she checked manually, didn't believe that they were lower down.
Wouldn't examine until she was convinced that I was having them regularly over a prolonged period of time.
Finally examined me when I told her I was ready to push & dd2 arrived 4 mins later.
I'm sure they see lots of false alarms too but at the time it is so frustrating

Oh yes I felt a massive "fuck you!" When the consultant was not believing me when DS was being born. Second child born 13 months after my fast born first born. She made me get off my knees onto my back to stick a cannula in whilst I was in transition. Also sticking a bloody monitor on DS head because his heart rate was a bit fast. A nice big scratch on his head poor love. Well no shit his heart was beating fast he was about 10 minutes from being squished out my fanjo, even though I told th m he'd be here in no time they didn't believe me. Thankfully I had a doula who I told to tell me when baby was crowning so I could pant. I got back on my knees, announced to the room I was going push him out. And promptly did. Afterwards they were in a right tizz, apparently he nearly fell on the floor, not that I could see.

Anyway 3rd baby was at home and the midwives just sat and let me crack on. Fantastic I say, listened and caught baby just fine.

I do think after seeing OBEM some mums do go into histrionics and it must be hard to determine who is genuine agony and who isn't.

But it works the other way, if you're not wailing like a banshee they don't believe you either!

The midwives didn't believe I was in pain when I was having hideous contractions at only 2cm dilation. The baby was back-to-back so my body was trying hard to move him. The early contractions were just as painful as the ones at 9cm. The midwives made me feel horribly judged and kept giving me the 'oh what a drama queen' look.

I went from 4cm to 10cm in 45mins and they didn't believe me when I said he was Guna come out! I got on the floor and they had to run to catch him!!!

A consultant didn't believe that I was in labour at 24 weeks, and told me I was a paranoid first time mother and to go home and stop wasting his time. I was enormously lucky that when DS1 arrived a couple of days later I was back at the hospital at a pre-booked appointment with my own consultant.

Two years later, when I was pregnant with DS2, I described everything that had happened in my labour with DS1 to my community midwife and she told me that my account was "completely impossible and could never have happened". Thanks for that.

I don't know why they make all the fuss about whether your in active labour or early labour nowadays. When my mum had babies she just went into hospital, they'd tell you 'oh you have plenty of time if you want to go home for a bit' but if you wanted to stay you stayed. If you need/want support during early labour you should be allowed it. That way you just go to hospital when you need help/support/pain releif and there's none of this 'I'm afraid your not in labour/your waters haven't broken/I don't believe you/were too busy and don't have time for you'. There was a thread on here a while ago about back to back labours and many needed the support/pain releif in early labour and were refused it. Disgusting!

Opposite experience here,hopefully will reassure you a bit. I was induced and sent to Labour ward to have my waters broken at 2cm as they were concerned about her high heart rate. Examined an hour after waters broken and was 3cm. Within 10 minutes I was pushing and dd was born 20 minutes after that. As soon as I said I needed to push midwife was there monitoring me.

I will say though that i told everyone I saw that i have fast labours (first labour was 4 hours) and got a lot of knowing smiles from them. When the consultant broke my waters she said to the midwife that 'icebear reckons baby will arrive within the hour so be on your toes'. Time in labour was 74 minutes.

In my last pregnancy, I started passing what looked suspiciously like meconium (black green tinged) on the evening of my due date, my waters hadn't gone to my knowledge. I rang the admissions unit and the MW I spoke to told me not to be so silly and that I probably had thrush. When I insisted I wanted to come down to be checked out, she told me not to bother as they were genuinely busy dealing with real emergencies.

I gave birth in an ambulance approximately 2 hours later to a baby in severe distress and went on to have a massive PPH! I really regret not reporting her but 18 months on I think I've left it too late.

It doesn't matter anymore
Destroyed woman and baby life permanent damages double incontinence consequences for friend who also wasn't believed when she phone hospital with regular contractions
But hey ho who cares! !

They told me not to come in as I was in very very early labour. 2 hours later DD was born almost in the hospital car park. Barely made it to triage where I delivered the baby :O

I was not happy with the midwives response

I found I had to be fairly firm in insisting on being examined. I was perfectly calm but also absolutely certain I was about to have the baby, and was quite keen to get on with it! The midwife suggested a hot shower and some paracetamol and trying to get some rest. Until she examined me and realised I was 10cm

I'm due DC2 now and hopeful that they'll take me a bit more seriously this time!

I was only 1cm dilated and in hideous pain. They were all and told me to go home and have a bath.

Four days later, after a lot of hysterics from me and DH threatening to sue them, they discovered I had been right and baby was stuck. Cue EMCS.

I don't think the midwives were convinced when I telephoned as I didn't sound like I was in enough pain but I told them it felt like I needed to push down with the contractions. They said to come in, so I did and I gave birth to DS within an hour of arriving at the hospital.

I think they must see a lot of false alarms, but I think if you feel you need to be checked out then ring them and tell them you are on your way in!

This happened to my friend- waters went at home and was labouring in her back. Went to hospital and got given loads of leaflets about induction because she 'clearly wasn't in labour'. They tried to send her home, her husband got a bit angry and said he was convinced she was in labour- in desperation he asked if they could at least examine her to be sure? She was 8cm.

Sounds like it's of a piece with general medical attitudes towards women - inclination to think women are making up symptoms/hysterical is huge, such that it causes women to die of heart attacks at a far higher rate than men due to not getting the interventions they need: psmag.com/is-medicine-s-gender-bias-killing-young-women-4cab6946ab5c#.9r9aot61f

I wish I knew why midwives don't believe pregnant women. I'm one who wasn't believed about anything throughout pregnancy. I kept leaking waters from 26 weeks but was persistently told I was peeing myself (it came out the wrong hole) by 38 weeks I had no water left and ended up getting emergency induction. When in labour (they didn't believe I was in labour as weak contractions) I was saying I needed to push and they told my partner not to be so silly as my contractions weren't strong enough but there I was mooing like a cow trying to stop the urge to push as they said I was going to rupture my cervix. I said the baby wasn't going to come out, just knew it, they said I was being silly and I ended up with emcs as Dd got stuck (tiny pelvis y'see).

When you're a first time mum you think they must know best but you know your body. Stand up for yourself & you should be fine

Please try not to worry.

I rang and was assessed over the phone, they told me to come in for a check even though I had only been having pains for an hour. I got to hospital and was checked and was 5cms and a few hours later the midwive was begging to check me as she was sure I was ready to push...baby was born very quickly after that! I was listened to throughout and I was convinced I wasn't ready when in actual fact the baby was almost out, the midwife knew before I did.

I hope you get a good supportive midwife who listens to you, they aren't all bad!

My midwife didn't believe me, she spent 15 mins telling my mum and DP off for taking me in.
Didn't check me over, told me it would be ages.
Turned us away and said to come back in a few hours, made it to the next floor down and I just had to get out of the lift because I just couldn't take it anymore, a lovely nurse from that floor saw me hanging onto a windowsill in the corridor with members of the public gawping at me and was like err maternity is upstairs, my mum explained we had been turned away and this amazing nurse said no way, you're going back up.

She called the head of midwifery, found a stretcher and got me rushed back up, the head midwife was bollocking my idiot midwife in the lift asking why she'd sent me away with no checks.
They finally checked me, I was 10cm and DS was born 40 mins later.
That nurse that called the midwife back, I'll be forever grateful to her, DS would have been born in the car if it wasn't for her.

Still hands down the best day of my life

I phoned the mlu 3 times and each time they moved the goalposts as to how many hours of regular contractions I needed to have before I went in. I felt like there was nothing I could do to convince them I was in labour. It was horrible. When I got in I was 10cms. I wish now I had just gone in but I'm a goody two shoes who does what I'm told.

Round here I've never met anyone who was told to come in on the phone to the MLU. They always say 'try xxx and wait until yyyy' even f you call repeatedly. If your low risk and don't need monitoring they hold you off coming in for as long as possible. All my friends ended up telling them they were coming in or being taken in by concerned husbands/partners to whom it was very obvious they were in labour. It's a tactic to keep you at home as long as poss I think.

Happened to me. Went into labour on the Saturday but contractions were 10 minutes apart. Went into hospital 6am on the Sunday to be told that I should go home (I was being sick and couldnt walk so not really an option) was 3cm dilated at 7am so was told again to go home which I refused to do.
Half 9 my waters broke during one of my many trips to the loo, mw said there was nothing else happening and I'd be in labour for ages yet. I asked her to check as I wanted to push and surprise surprise I was fully dilated! Mw was in shock and had to race to fill up the pool for my water birth. DS arrived an hour and a half later.

They do see false alarms a lot so I can understand but you know you're body even with your first (as the above was my first) so stick to your guns and make sure your birthing partner knows exactly what you want so they can reiterate it when you're in too much pain to talk coherently.

ds was a very long labour.
so when I was in being induced with dd I was pottering around getting mild contractions, and wandering up and down, but not really in pain or anything dramatic. I had had a pessary in the morning and it hadn't done anything and dh had gone home to put ds to bed. I was on labour ward, not delivery, and they were going to try and induce again in the morning.

The midwife was watching me and then came over and asked about my first labour. When she heard ds had been back to back and it had been very long, she said she thought I might be a lot further on than I thought and she wanted to send me up to delivery. She phoned dh, and he only just got there in time as dd was born very soon after.