the pushing bit.....what's that like?

[marymillington]

my midwife hasn't actually had a baby......tell me what it was like for you.

(my contractions stopped at 10cm with DS, 8 hours later I had a C/S. 36 wks pg right now)

cheers

I have done it four times. Three times, I wsa having a boy weighing over 8 lbs, but once I was having dd who was delightfully petite at 6 lb 15 oz and pushing her out was soooooooooooooo easy. Literally two pushes, one incredible primeval groan from me - I would love to be able to do that again but it only comes in childbirth I think! - and there she was! You know those stories of women giving birth by the side of the paddy field and then going straight back to work? Well, that is how I felt when I gave birth to dd. At that very moment anyway. I am sure later I felt absolutely exhausted.

evilsparkly. I shut my eyes tight too. Did not want to see that.

oh I just pushed cos they told me to

I'd have sat there on the bed complaining and clutching the gas and air all night otherwise

I remember having a rest for one contraction and then thinking 'oh god, better join in with this thing now or I'll be here forever'

it feels like you have the biggest poo and it will not budge!!

and then finally you can feel the head move down and as you push to get the head out it starts stinging really badly as your vagina stretches and feel like the whole thing will tear apart!!!

ooowwww but at the end the baby does come out and you forget it all (well some of it!0

I love the pushing bit its the only bit I find easy cos I seem to take ages to dilate.

dd was about 20 minutes pushing (which is quite good for a first), and took me less than four minutes to push ds out.

Its an amazing feeling, and even though I am keen on drugs during labour is one of the reasons I wouldnt like an epidural because I just love that feeling that my body is urging me to push and you cant resist it. Plus you know its nearly over.

Aside from that it does feel like a massive poo and it burns like hell whilst the head stretches you but after that its all good

Ds1 shot out without me having to push him out (though had had quite a lot of g&a so not totally lucid).
With ds2 found it quite cathartic and actually took my mind off the pain of the contractions (no pain relief second time round). I do remember the head crowning and thinking "oo now comes the ring of fire" and then thinking how correct the term was. Took ages for me to feel ready to push though despite midwife continually saying you can push now if you want to (felt totally knackered and just wanted to sleep). Didn't take long once I was ready though.

It's agony, absolute bloody agony - I can still remember that feeling of a huge head stretching something that didn't feel like it should be quite so stretched

No midwives ever told me not to push - thank God, I was always told to go with it.

God it hurts though.

Sorry!

Very satisfying after though and the minute the baby is out the pain goes.

That term ring of fire really brings it back!
It's right to push when you feel like it, don't try not to.
Anybody else try a natural third satge?

So what does bearing down feel like? WHat does it mean?

I assumed I would get all primeval and stuff but just ended up sweating and swearing a lot - and I do mean a lot: apparently I "asked" a consultant (someone i'd never seen) and his illtle group who came into the room midbirth "Who the fukc are you?". And then broke the headbed and dh's fingers (he says)

I found dealing with the initial contractions very hard, they were very painful and I didn't cope very well at all. But once I was through transition and fully dilated, it was a different story. During my pushing stage it was just like my body had a job to do and it just got on with it, with me not really being there if that makes sense. Hard work but not painful like the previous stage. And initially I was making some very primal moo-ing sounds, they just came out quite involuntarily with the pushing. By the end I don't think I was making much noise. Like DG, I don't remember crowning being particularly bad, and I found it magical that any pain I felt disappeared as I pushed. I remember feeling so relieved once ds's head was out, and giggling when I could feel his little shoulders wriggling around.

This is a lovely thread

Good luck MM, look forward to hearing your birth story.

DS1 was pulled out with forceps so when I had DS2 I had no idea what the feeling would be.

I remember my waters breaking but thinking it was a big wee and then thinking "I need a poo now - bugger - I'll just do it now and then have this baby..." and the MW said "Are you pushing?" (in a somewhat surprised voice) and I said "I don't know - I've never done it before". She had a quick look (had only just arrived in hospital so hadn't been examined or anything) and saw DS2's head

But when I was actually pushing him out, I remembered one thing from all the books which was that you have to push through the pain which goes against what you would naturally do. I was lucky - I think he came out with about 3 pushes or so

With DS3 I did not actually push him out myself, my body did, could not have stopped it if I had tried.

After I'd been pushing for 2.5 hours they brought in a consultant who had the gall to tell me that I wasn't pushing through the burning pain! DS's head had already been visible for an hour and she genuinely thought that I'd prefer ineffectual pushing to feeling the ring of fire - fgs! And then she told me that I should stop making a noise and put all my energy into pushing instead - I mean, had that woman ever had a baby? Probably not. My contractions were rapidly disappearing and they were threatening drips and god knows what. I don't know where the strength came from but I finally managed to push the head out an hour later. I'd had two episiotomies by then so I didn't feel the crowning at all - the midwife had to tell me I'd delivered the head, I had no idea!

Yes Tatties like an out of body experience when you become so aborbed in what you are doing naturally.

Agree urge to push is involuntary...so why do so many midwives tell us not to push when we feel the urge? Surely we would not get the urge if we weren't fully dilated? That's what happened first time, I was told not to push (even though I wanted to) because they thought I was not fully dilated. It was agony. But I was re-examined by another midwife who said, "No wonder she wants to push, she is fully dilated." And you really do push through the pain and it feels much more bearable.

Second time, high on gas and air, I insisted to the MW that the baby was "coming out of my bum, honestly". That is what it felt like. She said, "Well we've never had that before!"

The crowning is the worst bit though. As the head started coming out I found myself making this other-worldly noise which I know realise was terror as much as impending pain. That's when you don't want to push, because it does feel as though you will tear.

I didn't though, thank goodness. And once the baby is out, the pain stops. Magic.

with dd my mw wanted me to have epidural but i'm sooooo scared of them, they asked me to lean over the bed for the epidural because she was in distress (meconium grade 3)but i somehow i managed to get my back up against a wall (funny and mad i know) mw said she would cheack my dilation one more time if i wasn't there they would do cs but luckly i was fully dilated and she said i could push any time i felt like it, but i didn't just contractions (it was 09.30 by now) and only just suviving through diamorphine given at 3am all of a sudden at 09.40 i felt like constipation and my belly pushed without me being able to control it that was it 20 mins at 10.00am and my dd was here, i am now ready for ds to show my dd is nearly 5 so it's been a while i havn't forgot the delivery but i have forgot the pain so slightly worried bout that. GUD LUCK TO EVERYONE xxx

i suppose your body usually just does its own thing. after 16 hours of contractions i felt the almighty push, did the breathing, stood up, lay down, carried on pushing TWO hours later the midwife says 'Oh why isn't the head coming' and they drugged me up so i never felt the ring of fire. i want it, and a slithery whoosh next time

When I had dd1 the midwife told me not to push until I was 10cm dilated, even though I had the urge. I couldn't help pushing and I was scared that I would damage myself or her by not contolling it. With dd2 at home the midwife said if you feel like it, do it.
I think that as women in labour our bodies are their own guides and that we should trust in what we do.

Very similar stories twinklemegan MW kept asking if I was 'feeling pushy' yet as I was in agony and no epidural coming... In the end I said yes to please her - 3 hours later, extended episiotomies , I somehow pushed out dd. Think I was pushing too soon... as a result felt no 'ring of fire' as such, just constant excruciating pain I couldn't escape. Not having any more children - can't face the thought

My MW told me not to push yet as not quite fully dilated, but I really could not stop myself, so I was pushing without any noise and hoping she wouldn't notice (was standing up). She did obviously notice however that every minute or so I was going bright red with bulging eyes and she said 'you're pushing aren't you?' which I couldn't deny.
She then told me to go with it and DS2 born about 1/2 hr later.
The pushing actually made made the pain go for me, until the ring of fire burn arrived, but then he was there!!!

The midwife said push like youre doing a poo, but my urge to push was from my vaginal muscles not my bum ones IYSWIM. Seemed to spent ages pushing from my bum with no luck, then pushed solely from fanjo and it worked in 3 pushes. Am i the only one who felt this?

know what you mean SC, i felt pressure on my bum but when i pushed it was from the front, very odd sensation altogether!

i'm 7+2 with my first child and after reading this, i am terrified!!

I found the dilation contractions very painful, and didn't deal with them very well - screaming, shouting,crying, lots of 'i can't do this' etc etc .

I was like a different person during the pushing bit, I didn't find the contractions very painful, and can't even say I found the head coming out hurt, it was just very uncomfortable. I found the harder I pushed the less pain the contractions caused me, the pushing was involuntary, as were the circular motions with my hips I used to shake her out!

This thread is making me so excited for my labour (due in 5 weeks)!

Agree about the intial contractions being the most painful part, I was 7cm dilated when I got into hospital then 10cm within 2 hours.

Wanted to push all of a sudden, but the midwife told me not to as there was still a lip of cervix visible - was the hardest thing EVER trying not to push, like trying to hold in the biggest turtle head of my life. Oh the romance of it.

When I was finally allowed to push it felt really forced and I had to have an injection of something to speed the contractions along. The actual birth was fine, once DD's head was out her whole body just slithered out.

Eeeee excited to do it again now!