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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

What hurts more, contractions or baby actually coming out?

112 replies

macdat · 23/02/2016 03:57

I guess contractions last longer, so that's a downside, but the baby actually coming out seems...well...horrific. I'm so scared haha. I want to know which one is more painful, just so I can prepare myself a little and sort of psych myself up for it.

OP posts:

Branleuse · 23/02/2016 19:46

i think contractions are worse because they feel never ending.

Crowning was only really bad with ds2 but he was 10lb, and I didnt tear or have pain relief, and I was convinced I was splitting in two - that was really harsh. You have to birth the whole body in the same way that you birth the head when the baby is big. I still think contractions were probably worse though, but its a completely different sensation

foxessocks · 23/02/2016 19:49

For me crowning was worse than contractions. My contractions were very painful at the end but gas and air helped and they were manageable. The crowning part however I didn't have gas and air for so I felt it all (I had a very long pushing stage and the gas and air was slowing me down apparently!). It really stung and then my dd got stuck so it lasted ages. So that was the worst bit for me. I thought once I got to the pushing bit it would be a few pushes then out. I didn't realise it could take so long.

BeautifulLiar · 23/02/2016 19:53

Definitely contractions, although my third baby stung as she crowned, but that's probably because I'd had no pain relief and DH was delivering her because the midwives couldn't find my house...

But yeh. I'm due 2 weeks today and shitting myself re contractions. Pushing was better for me, but then I had tiny babies and all were pushed out within 2-3 minutes.

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp · 23/02/2016 19:53

Everybody's story will be different Op, as will yours. My only advice would be: be informed of your choices, make sure DH/P knows them too (I was so exhausted at one point I couldn't speak for myself), be upright for as long as possible and try to keep calm.
Contractions were probably the worst for me - especially just before transition, but I had strong contractions for over 28 hours and was really knackered so reaching transition wasn't a good stage for me. The pushing wasn't as bad, partly cos I felt I was doing it, and had some control, rather than it just happening TO me like the contractions did.
DS crowning was fiery, especially as his head didn't come out in one go, and the midwife made me pause and breathe until she felt I was ready to push again. So I had a baby's head halfway out for what felt like eternity but was probably less than a minute. His body whooshing out after felt amazing tho, like a little fish swimming out to meet me. I didn't tear at all, but have had friends say the stitching was worse than the birth!

BeautifulLiar · 23/02/2016 19:55

Branleuse I also thought I was splitting in two, I remember thinking "oh crap, my fanny has been destroyed"... but the baby was 6lb!

YesterdayOnceMore · 23/02/2016 19:56

Contractions were the worst with my first as he was back to back, so it was more like non stop agony.

The "ring of fire" (crowning) was painful with my second, and definitely worse than the contractions, but neither was that bad or unmanagable

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp · 23/02/2016 19:59

beautifulliar 2 / 3 minutes pushing? I pushed for 2 and half hours after over a day of contractions. And people wonder why DS is an only

Igottastartthinkingbee · 23/02/2016 20:02

Contractions up to getting fully dilated were steadily worse and I had a panic during 'transition' but I think that was cause I had to move rooms so I got out of my zone! Actually pushing baby out was ok. Very wierd overwhelming sensation but I don't remember it being painful. My only advice would be to focus on breathing and believe that your body is meant to do this.

BeautifulLiar · 23/02/2016 20:03

TooMuch holy shit!! You're some kind of warrior!! Hopefully having this baby will be like shelling peas...

Igottastartthinkingbee · 23/02/2016 20:08

Actually the after pains were the worst. Came from bloody nowhere and lasted ages. Even though birth contractions are painful you know it's only going to last a minute, unlike after pains.

Ilovenannyplum · 23/02/2016 20:12

Contractions were by far the worst part, transition particularly
By the time it came to push, felt nice to be able to do something productive and in comparison, that part was less painful

Believeitornot · 23/02/2016 20:14

Squeezing the baby out - well the crowning. The ring of fire.
Still makes me feel slightly ill now.

The contractions were fine. Yes they hurt like fuck but only for a short bursts at a time. I felt more in control and could manage those. However with the ring and the stretching

CinnamonBunYou · 23/02/2016 20:15

Contractions for me definitely! DD was out within a few pushes and I can just remember it stinging when her head split me but I was just relieved the contractions were over! I had no pain relief, not even gas and air. DD was only 5lbs and her head was tiny but she still destroyed my foof and the nurse was down there a good half hour stitching me back up and it hurt more than the labour. I had to have gas and air for the stitches.

sandmo · 23/02/2016 20:16

For me the birth was far far worse than any contractions

Onsera3 · 23/02/2016 20:23

I think it might depend on the size of baby.

DS I found the crowning really painful but he was in full sac of water so was huge. The contractions were not fun but you get rests.

But DD the crowning pain stage was non existent and she came out quickly and it felt great. The last couple of contractions were really bad, especially the one when the water broke.

The thing with the contractions is you don't know how many more you have to endure. With the crowning you know you're nearly there and you are getting excited. So for me that makes it mentally easier.

HeyYouGetOffMyCloud · 23/02/2016 20:25

Crowning for me

GameOfGroans · 23/02/2016 20:27

Definitely for me the pushing was far, far worse. It felt like it went on forever and I was exhausted! But nothing tops the relief I felt when the baby eventually came out, it was the best feeling in the world. You will be fine OP!

seriouslywhat · 23/02/2016 20:33

Crowning was more painful, esp for 1 and 2 (no 2 was massive) but only lasted a relatively short time compared to contractions (and I had short births!). I actually screamed at crowning for all three of them, though with no. 3 it was more of an extreme stretch than burning...

Not sure if it makes any diff but I had g&a during contractions with 1 and 2 and nothing with 3 (tried g&a that time but made me feel really sick oddly).

Runningupthathill82 · 24/02/2016 03:42

Contractions were far worse for me, no doubt about it. DD was big, and I tore, but the good thing about crowning was that it was over relatively quickly, and I had some control over it.
Whereas contractions, as a pp said, happen "to" you and you have no control over what's happening.

ReallyTired · 24/02/2016 04:14

When the baby is crowning you are on an absolute high because you know the baby is about to be born. If you are lucky enough not to tear then crowning is not particularly painful. If you tear badly then that is going to hurt.

I found contractions were a lot worst than crowning as there is no clear end in sight. I am lucky in that I had quick second stages with both my children.

Childbirth is a lot of luck. I suggest you read up on active birth and breathing techniques. Self hypnosis helps some people. The less tense you are the less likely you will experience tearing.

Paperblank · 24/02/2016 05:24

I went in for an induction on Monday at 38 weeks and had the propess pessary which they leave in for 24 hours.

They had considered doing a prostin pessary yesterday but as I was having tightenings 5 hours within of the propess it wasn't necessary. I was 4 cm dilated at 4pm yesterday afternoon and went down to labour ward at 5.00.

The contractions were horrible, I used a TENS machine which was quite effective for me. I really didn't like gas and air and when I asked for a epidural at about 9.30pm anaesthetist was in theatre. By the time they were available which was about 10.30 I was fully dilated so just had to crack on and push.

Once I was pushing I didn't really get mega painful contractions but I suppose your body just does what it's designed to do. Crowning hurts. But once the head is out I only pushed once more and then BAM! Baby!

My daughter was born at 00.40 this morning - she is a dinky dot though 5lb 12.5oz. She is currently asleep on me as apparently I am far nicer than her crib.

She's worth every painful second and the stitches.

DaggerEyes · 24/02/2016 06:11

Contractions for me. Crowning felt odd, a bit stingy, but actually not painful at all tbh. Crowning for me was the best bit, all the work was over and my baby was on her way to have her first cuddle!

Baressentials · 24/02/2016 08:02

Congratulations Paperblank!
Enjoy the new born snuggles x

VagueIdeas · 24/02/2016 09:33

DS I found the crowning really painful but he was in full sac of water so was huge

Ohhh, that's interesting. My waters didn't break until the head was just about to be delivered. That probably explains why I found pushing so painful. Didn't occur to be that it was because I was pushing a baby plus a full sac of water. Thanks for solving a four and a half year old mystery!

Notso · 24/02/2016 09:54

Totally different pains so I can't compare. The contractions were more of an crampy, aching pain. Crowning was more of a scratchy stinging pain.
I found all of it was manageable, I've had 4 DC so wasn't put off. Try not to be scared and panic. Focusing on breathing rather than how it felt really helped me.

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