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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

What hurts more, contractions or baby actually coming out?

112 replies

macdat · 23/02/2016 03:57

I guess contractions last longer, so that's a downside, but the baby actually coming out seems...well...horrific. I'm so scared haha. I want to know which one is more painful, just so I can prepare myself a little and sort of psych myself up for it.

OP posts:

anklebitersmum · 23/02/2016 04:11

The contractions are intense but if you roll with them (you'll know what I mean when they're happening) you'll be fine.

Safe to say that giving birth 'stings a little' but gas & air if used properly will sort you out.

If you think of each contraction in terms of a hill you're going to go up and then over the top. You start the g&a at the bottom of the hill so as you get to the top you're covered

Good luck!

PerpetualStudent · 23/02/2016 04:17

First of all congratulations on your pregnancy!
There's no definitive answer to your question (sorry!) every birth is different, and everyone has different experiences of pain anyhow.
For e.g. neither my contractions or crowning hurt that much, because for my induction they gave me an epidural along with the hormone drip, so it never felt unmanageable.
I know what you mean about feeling psyched up for the pain though - have you looked at hypnobirthing stuff at all? Some useful techniques there.
I also loved JuJu Sin's book Birth Skills - focused on the idea of childbirth as 'good' pain, and again gives you lots of strategies. I went from scared to quite looking forward to my DS's birth when reading this!

winchester1 · 23/02/2016 04:25

I didn't feel the baby actually come put I was really surprised to look down and see her.

TheDowagerCuntess · 23/02/2016 04:28

Contractions for me, without a doubt. The actual swooshing out was over in seconds.

PopcornFiend · 23/02/2016 04:46

For me, contractions were worst. DD2 was born 3 hrs after waters breaking.. As soon as we got to hospital I sucked down the g&a like my life depended on it. Actual crowning & pushing out felt like a blessed relief. Every birth is different though- DD1 was a looooong labour with epidural, less painful but more tiring. You'll be fine though, as pp said just try to roll with it, don't be afraid to ask for pain relief and just keep focusing on the amazing baby you'll be getting as your reward!

fuzzyllama · 23/02/2016 05:13

Contractions were the worst, I found the actual birthing a breeze !

ICJump · 23/02/2016 05:28

Contraction where hard. Crowning was weird. It hurts but for me it's a real head/emotional thing. I really wished everyone would go so I could get in with it in my own bubble. DS 2 basically fell out when I stood up. Very lucky I was in a birth pool.

I have had two short labours DS 1 about 7hours with only about 10 minutes of pushing. dS2 about 2 hours labour and maybe 5-7 minutes pushing.

If your feeling scared doing some yoga/hypno/juju/meditation type stuff is worth while

AStreetcarNamedBob · 23/02/2016 05:54

Contractions for me I think. Although none of it was fun.

Dixiechick17 · 23/02/2016 11:20

Contractions hurt and seemed never ending. When the urge to push came it kind of put more of a focus on things and with pushing I knew the end was in sight, crowning burnt, but my lovely midwife was using a warm cloth to kind of bathe the area when pushing, and it really helped.

InFrance2014 · 23/02/2016 14:26

Do some perineal massage to find out what crowning feels like - it really helped me stop being frightened of it.
"Massage" is the wrong word, really you stretch and knead the whole area from your perineum to your labia, but slowly and over time, getting used to how it feels (it's not supposed to be comfortable!).

After a few weeks (DH did it most evenings) I was really prepared for the same sensation during the birth, and breathed through it fine, even while the head was outside but the shoulders weren't, between final contractions.
Here's a link to a PDF, it's in French but has very useful illustrations on what exactly to do (pages 17-19):
www.weleda.hosting.onehippo.com/binaries/content/assets/pdf/france/guide_maternite_weleda.pdf

HopeandSoap · 23/02/2016 14:28

The pushing stage although quick was 10x worse than the contractions. But mine did all have 39cm heads!

Tfoot75 · 23/02/2016 14:38

Contractions were worse for me, crowning was over v quick so no opportunity to concentrate on it, just have to push past it (but not too hard!). It did sting and burn but all over in a few moments, the finish line is in sight by then!

LovelyFriend · 23/02/2016 14:41

contractions for sure. The baby just glided out both times.
I don't really understand what "pushing" means WRT birth. I did about 2 pushes each baby. I'm very thankful for that.

I did listen to a hypnobirthing CD/tracks for several weeks and I think they really helped me to remain (mostly) relaxed throughout the process.

ShortcutButton · 23/02/2016 14:43

I had a very badly done episiotomy (cut right through to anus) and forceps with my first. Delivered on my own with tearing for 2nd

Contractions are more painful, by a mile

allegretto · 23/02/2016 14:45

Contractions for me - last longer and the pushing stage is really exciting!

WhatWouldFlopDo · 23/02/2016 14:51

Contractions for me, I don't remember feeling pushing her out, the episotomy or the stitches. Everyone is different though, I know somebody who never felt contractions.

DramaAlpaca · 23/02/2016 14:51

For me, contractions hurt much more, but because they come & go and there's no pain in between them they were manageable with gas & air.

The baby's head crowning was a burning, stinging sensation which didn't last long at all, and that was the only painful bit of the actual delivery.

By far the worst bit of all was getting stitched after I tore having DC2.

lilac3033 · 23/02/2016 14:55

Pushing and crowning were definitely the worst pain for me. DD was back to back for most of my contractions as well! It might have been that I used G&A and the pool during contractions, but had to be out and about trying to push in different positions to try and turn her. So I just went without pain relief. It's not called Ring of Fire for no reason! I had 2 hours + of pushing as well.

Finola1step · 23/02/2016 14:57

For me, crowning was the most painful. It tends to sting. Just a bit.

gunting · 23/02/2016 14:58

Crowning and being stitched up for me hurt the most. I had no pain relief because the contractions were ok but I really wished I had an epidural when he was coming out.

Ds was 10.6lbs and he was born after a 4 hr labour so I tore and I think it was the tearing that hurt.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 23/02/2016 15:05

Contractions were okay for me - intense (they were induced and in my back and thighs) but I could cope. I wanted someone to play Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" during crowning, that was a bit stingy - but DD came out in three pushes, took 9 minutes in total, so that might be why it hurt so much and I tore quite badly!

For me being stitched up hurt the most, but it took two hours and local anaesthetic doesn't work for me so obviously that's not going to be true for everyone!

MoonDuke · 23/02/2016 15:09

DS1 = contractions (and then the incompetent stitching)

DS2 = actual baby coming out. I have no idea if it's true (cos DH wasn't looking) but it felt like the consultant had his hands in me guiding DS2 out. And the epidural hadn't worked so no pain relief...

shitwithsugaron · 23/02/2016 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gunting · 23/02/2016 15:10

Ovaries the local aesthetic didn't work for me either or the ibruprofen they put up my bum

Myredcardigan · 23/02/2016 15:14

They're different sorts of pain really. The later stage contractions just before transition were awful for me. Really intensely painful. Pushing hurt but i was easily more able to cope as they seemed productive especially whilst standing up.

Crowning fucking hurts-no getting away from it. You genuinely think you are going to explode. However, it lasts a very short time, less than a minute usually between that contraction that 'crowns' and the next one that births the head. After the head is out, usually, assuming no problems, the body follows easily and many women barely feel the body follow the head.

It's much scarier imagining the pain to come. When you're actually in labour, it's far less scary. Good luck

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