pooing during child birth... can i stop it :/

[ghostspirit]

embarrassing but i dont care going to say it anyway. when i gave birth to my son and my daughter before that. i pooed like mad like a pooing machine its very embarrassing. so is there anyway to stop it. i get really badly constipated during in pregnancy. so do i need to get that sorted and maybe then was i wont poo when im giving birth :/

any advice/suggestions thanks

ghostspirit, your friend needs to piss off with her 'going on about it'. Why was she there if she wasn't going to be kind and supportive? She should feel very honoured you had her there, how dare she be such a cow?

Remember that you don't actually have to have any birth partner there at all if there's nobody whose presence you'd find comforting and supportive. Despite all the crap we hear about people's rights to watch you give birth, the truth is you are the patient and the only people who have any right to be there, bar the professionals, are those you choose. If you think you'll do best with just you and the midwife, do that. You certainly don't need twats who will make sure you remember the most embarrassing and humiliating parts.

Regarding pooing, midwives see it as a good sign. It means you're pushing effectively. So don't be embarrassed in front of them. They see it all day and night, you will be the 95th person they see that week and they won't remember or care. They deal in poo, mucus, clots, the lot. Most of them have had kids and probably pooed in labour themselves as well.

But given how worried you are about it (and I feel the same), make sure that any birth partners you have aren't going to be bell ends about it. And if they are, you can kick them out. Let the midwives know you want them out if they start on about it.

sheba thank you. i dont mind a little joke about it. little giggle.. but i really dont need to know how big it was or how much!

yeah i know i do not have to have people there. i did not with couple of my kids.... she kind of invited herself to be honest. well my daughter called her told her i was in labour and she turned up. she is a nice person but sometimes i think shut up.

Whaaat? She had no right inviting herself to something as personal as that, when you're in far too vulnerable a state to make your wishes known or even be clear for yourself what they are. God almighty, what is it about childbirth that creates this attitude in people?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she also didn't have the decency just not to mention it. You're much kinder than I am, I'd have kicked her to the kerb.

yeah i guess as my daughter called her she might have seen that as an invite/shout for help. and like you say time she got here i was huffing puffing amd making mad sounds. so was not in the situation to tell her to go away. in away though it was good that she was there as she sorted the kids out. my oldest daughter was looking after the younger one. and tried to make them sit quitly and watch a film. whilst they could hear me screaming like a wale. so least that was sorted. ie told the kids to go and play which was better.

Eh, when it comes to something like having a spectator while I'm in labour, nothing except for, "please would you come and keep me company" should be taken as an invitation. I'm surprised the midwives let her in if you didn't tell them you were expecting her or wanted her.

If she had to turn up she'd have done better to actually watch and play with the kids rather than tell them to go away so she could watch you give birth and then be a cow about it afterwards.

Sorry, I'm just so, so sick of this insane attitude where people think they can just force themselves on a labouring woman. It doesn't happen with any other bodily function/medical procedure and I don't understand what it is about childbirth that makes people think the patient suddenly doesn't have a right to privacy and autonomy.

she was there before the midwife. she did not tell the kids to go away. its just that my 18 year old had told the kids to be quite and watch a film but mate told them to go and play instead. which was fine. i did not overly mind her being there. if she could just hush up. oh well never mind

Ah, homebirth? I missed that, sorry.

Personally I'd have waited for an explicit invitation, or asked if I could be helpful, before bringing myself along to someone's labour, and I still think she's a godawful cow for being so disrespectful about yours. But it's your situation, not mine.

At any rate, make sure she's not there this time. Or your partner. Perhaps it's worth looking into getting a doula.

nah im not that bothered. partner might be ok im not sure... but hes easy to tell to piss off if i need to. wont use a doula quite happy with just midwife. could get my 18 year old to come in. put her of having kids for a few years

I'm sorry, I briefly confused you with another poster elsewhere who didn't want her partner in the delivery room. I didn't mean to insult him if he's a nice guy.

DH says I didn't poo with my first. I don't remember any poohing. I remember ventouse, forceps and lots of blood.

DH stayed at the head end, though, so I guess it could have happened without him noticing please no.

I had an ELCS with my second, no poo worries there!

(though I did almost vomit liquid morphine over DH a couple of hours later)

sheba no i did moan about him a bit up thread. i think i said he will probably piss me of lol. i would kind of like him there. but bit of me is not that bothered. i just want him to get me cake and be my servant for the night.

He should be well able and willing to do that.