recovery after forceps delivery

[flamingoshoes]

I'm feeling quite traumatised about my labour and delivery 4 days ago. It's kind of hit today. I had a vbac (first was a section for breech) which ended after 28 hours with rotational forceps. Had the epiostomy as part of this but also had a 'complicated' second degree tear and lost a lot of blood. I've also been left with hopefully temporary bladder incontinence so have come home on a catheter for 10 days.

Reading my notes and from the bits I picked up during discussions in labour I got to 10cm but baby was back to back and had cord round neck which was acting like a bungee with him moving in and out of the top of the birth canal. So despite lots of good pushing I just couldn't get him to descend. There is failure to progress past second stage written in my notes which has just made me feel a bit sad. I don't think it helps that my milk has come in today, i'm a blubbering wreck and had an awful no sleep stay on the post natal ward until yesterday.

I now have to empty wee bags, can't sit down and also have a new baby and a todder to care for. I know It will get better I guess this is a place to let it all out....

Thank you all again checking into this thread is helping to keep my sanity knowing that other people have been through the same and it's all been manageable in the end.

I don't regret not choosing a section i'm more mobile now even though in more pain than when I had the section and also due to the cocktail of drugs they used due to complications with the section I was like an unfeeling zombie for weeks which led to bonding problems and severe pnd. I'm taking the approach that at least I have emotions and feelings even if they are shocked and sad ones at the moment.

Hopefully dp is now on his way back from work with cushions and stronger pain medication. Milk came in yesterday so feeling the emotional effects of that.

There is only the epiostomy visible from the outside and severe bruising and swelling of the perineum at the moment (and a lovely huge pile). The main damage and tearing is internal so i'm less worried about looking now.

Dear god you poor thing...

Have you been able to get hold of any lidocaine? That is a topical anaesthetic and it is amazing stuff.

Ask for specific help for the piles. The nurse had a shock when she saw my postnatal piles and had to summon the Dr to have a look . She recommended cold gel pads and lying with pelvis slightly raised to send it back where it came from.

Ah OP I really feel for you. With my first I had forceps and an extended episiotomy into a 3a tear and PPH from the tear. Took about 3 hours in theatre to stitch. Plus some other assortment of tears.

First I would say be really really really kind to yourself - what you have been through is really tough. Don't feel the need to be doing anything apart from feeding yourself and the baby. Our culture has weird emphasis on acting like you haven't had a baby - I have no idea why! Rest in bed as much as you can.

I was in agony but all healed amazingly well and within 2-3 weeks I felt massively better (physically, emotionally took about a year!). And all seems fine now - in fact my much more straightforward second birth seems to have left my bits looking a lot more odd than the first!!

I remember feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Having experienced a much easier birth with my second I wish I could go back to myself weeping and in pain in the days after the birth of my first and say "don't be scared to acknowledge this is really hard and not the way it is for everyone". I can't do that, but I say it to you.

It will get better.

It might also help to have a lie down on the sofa, horizontally, every so often. If there is a lot of swelling inside, it feels like achy pressure and makes you tired.

I have no experience of this other than failure to progress which lead to cs. Day 4 really really really is poo though... God how I cried op xxx

Thank you for your continued advice. I am trying it all. This time last week was in labour feels like an age ago.

Still in the very painful stage feels like i have a red hot poker shoved up my bits and now also ds2 has decided he is not interested in feeding so back to hospital this afternoon again (he is already jaundiced but below treatment) and to tackle another painful car journey. Just spent an hour with the breast feeding lady and she is baffled as to why he was feeding fine and suddenly became very sleepy and stopped yesterday. My poor ds1 doesn't know whether he's coming or going luckily he has has a great relationship with all his grand parents who are loking after h but doesn't stop me missing being with him.

Just a quick note. Hope you are doing ok! Sounds like you've had a rough ride.. I had a traumatic birth three years ago.. Induced, three days attempting labour, ventouse and a huge episiotomy. Then had issues with PF and pain etc.

I was much better in many ways within a month or so, but the pain didn't go, (sex was indescribably bad) and I had infections in the site. After 6 months, and lots of bugging the doctors, I had a referral to a gynaecologist who recommended a re-do of the initial scar. Under a general, I had a redo of the initial episiotomy, and they opened the opposite side slightly to widen the vaginal opening.. Then had physio etc.

It was the best thing I ever did.

The whole area was so much better and I can run, have sex etc..

My advice: brilliant if it all sorts out, but if it doesn't, get help. Don't suffer for months.

Have been readmitted to hospital as ds2 has suspected infection. Worst nightmare being back in this place at least we have been given a side room this time so managing some sleep.

Sorry to hear this. ,I wish you both a speedy recovery.

You poor thing- that happened to me too. So awful on top of everything else. Your DS is in the best place. Hope you get some rest. Ask for a breast pump if you need one. We managed to get discharged a bit early and had the last 2 sessions of antibiotics administered by a nurse from home so see if that is an option.
Massive hugs

Finally just been told we can go home. Ds is ok and a lot more alert. I can now walk a bit better although have developed a urine infection so more antibiotics. Can't wait to get the catheter out next week and pray that my bladder is going to work! Feeling a bit more emotionally stable now although still getting the random crying sometimes.

I found days 5 - 8 the most horrendous in terms of pain things are a little more comfortable today althpugh looking forward to being able to sit properly.

Thank you again for all you advice and listening.

Oh Flamingos you poor love! How is the feeding going?

I'm really sorry you've had such a rough time of it.

Beep feeding is going well. I breastfed my son up until about 6 weeks ago when my supply dropped so apart from ds2 being very sleepy and needing to strip him for feeding it's going well.

Lovely just to be at home although lots of excruciating internal pains today. Been very tearful again. Feel very guilty that dp is doing everything plus trying to keep on top of his business (self employed so no paternity leave). Monday is the big day for hoping my bladder has woken up again not sure I can face any alternatives at the moment.

Oh I'm pleased to hear things are going well in that department. Hopefully Monday will bring good news bladder wise.

Hi. Just wanted to share my experience and give you some hope that things do get better! Had my ds1 just over 4 weeks ago with emergency forcep delivery resulting in second degree tear, blood transfusion and damaged bladder. In so much pain for first 2 weeks and still very sore and bruised now. I too had a catheter fitted after birth due to bladder incontinence and urine retention at home for 14 days after delivery. Felt like i was the only person this had happened too but apparently quite common. I was mortified but after two failed twoc's back in hospital my third attempt was successful and catheter was removed yippee! Now slowly recovering and bladder feels fine. Just the dreaded piles and scar healing to go now! Things do get better Xx

Oh and try to get some physio I went other day and they have given me specific exercises to help pelvic floor which should help my bladder control return to normal over coming months X

Thanks amber sounds exactly like my experience so far i'm on my second catheter after i was completely incontinent when they did the trial and I'm waiting for a physio appointment to come through. I can just about move my pelvic floor muscles for a split second so I know i've got a lot of work to do there. I'm the same with the piles too. It's so good to find people on this thread who have been through similar. I seem to have a bunch of friends that just pop babies out so it's hard to talk to them as they just don't understand how all this pain and discomfort is making these first few weeks with a newborn (and a lively toddler) very difficult. The upside is i'm getting lots of baby cuddling time.

I know I was glad to find your post too as I am still coming to terms with what has happened and like you have only met people who had more straightforward births with a lot faster recovery. I thought I was the only person in the world it had happened too and felt so alone. I never expected it to effect my bladder, or for the year and bruising to be so painful and I was angry about how it affected me bonding with my baby in the first few weeks. I hope your next trial goes well and that you get to enjoy Christmas with your little ones. Xx

Nearly three weeks in still in lots of pain and can only sit sideways on my hip. Been nearly a week since the catheter has been out and i'm having mega Incontinence issues as in have no control over when I wet myself :( i'm guessing the physio is the person I need to talk to as have not had appointment come through yet (she said she was going to try and see me the week after xmas).

Ds2 is beautiful and both him and ds1 are keeping me going at the moment.

Been following your story. I'm sorry it is so bad for you.

I was seriously injured too (stuck baby eventually delivered by forceps). As well as the episiotomy and a tear, I suffered excruciating coccyx pain (still ongoing 2 years on, soon referred to orthopedic clinic as woman's health physio has come to the end of what she can do).
Do you suffer from coccyx pain?

Otherwise in my case, the swelling took months to go away. After lochia had stopped, I would sit (sort of as was in agony for 7 months because of the coccyx) and it would feel like I was still wearing a thick maternity pad! It was like sitting on a plank of wood.

I remember pain getting a tiny bit better (excluding the coccyx) after ten days but it took 2 months for the wounds to completely heal. For 3 months I was unable to stand for more than 15 min at a time and I couldn't walk further than half a mile.

I think our injuries are different (I suffered faecal incontinence, urine retention which never required a catheter, a bladder and uterus prolapse (still here but can't feel it anymore) and have I mentioned the coccyx?) but thought it might give you an idea.

Keep strong. We're here.

Thanks pinguina yes my coccyx is so painful I find sitting to feed agony and have to change position frequently. The only position I can get complete comfort is lying down. I also find it hard to lean towards the side of the cut which has been throbbing a lot over the past few days along with shooting pains going up inside.

I'm able to walk/stand about 20 minutes before it starts to feel like my whole underneath is falling out and then usually I wet myself. I'm losing Confidence to get out the house as is it such a mission - stuff for baby, toddler and now a change of clothes for me. I just want to be able to drive again (can't sit straight on car seat even with support cushions) we live in a rural area where driving everywhere is necessary and I can't manage the walk to the local town at the moment which is about 15 minutes down a steep and rocky lane or 30 minutes up and down hills on the road.

Sorry I sound like i'm moaning this is just a good place to get the frustration and sadness out. Dp is being great with doing things round the house but it's kind of frustrating when I can't carry a pile if washing downstairs without wetting myself.

Doing what I can with pelvic floor exercises every hour during the day but I have very weird sensation so can't feel certain muscles i'm sure that used to be there.

Just got to keep on going and know that some days will be harder than others. I got through the day without bursting in to tears yesterday so that was really positive. I love my new ds to pieces and have a wonderful ds1 who i'm feeling incredibly guilty about not being able to get down on the floor and play with due to pain.

You're allowed to moan!
I had a retained placenta and the pain went on for weeks, but I promise it will improve. Please make sure you are in regular contact with your GP / midwife / physio and that they know you need help.

Just read the whole thread and was going to repeat what others said about keep getting the help and support you need. Had a traumatic birth that took a long time to heal physically and mentally. Deal with physical -get gp /midwife to keep checking and make sure you have painkillers that work! Then when you are ready (nearly a year for me) have a debrief with midwife at hospital really helpful to understand what happened. Take care of yourself and your family

I remember being so shocked and upset at what birth had done to my body. I didn't have the pain issues you have, which sound terrible, but I did have no bladder control whatsoever and no pelvic floor to speak of (hence the username!). I ended up needing an op to mend my bladder problems but I wanted to reassure you that you can get your pelvic floor muscles back - mine are now back and stronger than before - although a bit of nerve damage means I have less sensation but that is slowly getting better too. A women's health physio can really help. I saw one weekly and also used an electronic kegel exerciser that my physio programmed and it kick started the muscles back to life. I then used a plastic exerciser with springs - you increase the settings as you get stronger and it tells you if you are doing the exercises properly.

You will get there and you will heal, it just takes a lot of time (months rather than days). It's so tough as all you want to do is be a normal person doing usual things and it feels like that has just been taken from you but you feel guilty if you regret or resent your birth as you have such a wonderful baby. But remember that this is not the "price" of birth - you are entitled to (and deserve) all possible treatment to make you well again.

Yes, lying down on my side was the only comfortable position. And no, I couldn't carry "heavy loads" (laundry basket or kitchen bin bag).

In my case, coccyx pain didn't really improve for 7 months. Very gradually pain became less excruciating but for 7 months I was in constant pain. I was on a regime of paracetamol 4 times a day for that period. I wasn't able to drive for 15 months. I now use a ring cushion. I gave up breastfeeding after 4/5 weeks. The pain was just unbelievable when sitting and getting up from sitting. I mourned the loss of breastfeeding. At that point I still hadn't understood I was seriously injured and felt extremely guilty. Now I look back and know it was simply unsustainable.
Please don't think I'm recommending you stop breastfeeding, I'm just recounting my story in case it's useful.

Carrying loads didn't improve for 3/6 months, with pelvic floor exercises 5/6 times a day. I had to lie down to do the exercises which was obviously very constraining. After 3 months I could walk further than half a mile.

Why am I writing this? I simply hope you can organise help for the foreseeable future. The sense of isolation I felt was immense. It was down to limited physical abilities and not knowing anyone who'd had a birth like mine (also exacerbated by first physio I saw who kept minimising everything and fail to explain how injured I was).
After 3 months I declared depression and eventually had to be hospitalised for it. The triggers were physical trauma, pain, sense of isolation (aggravated by my ignorance of births like ours and physio who failed to manage my expectations and kept telling me I was like everyone else - eventually I made a complaint and changed physio), mourning breastfeeding.
This shouldn't happen to you if you keep pain in check (it will feel like paracetamol is not helping but psychiatrist explained it's really important to take painkillers regularly without waiting for pain to worsen. My understanding is that the brain cannot function well when bombarded with pain signals) and have a lot of people around you who understand you're in physical pain and need help and practical support (because both my husband and I failed to take the measure of what had happened, we soldiered on until I collapsed mentally).
I can't stress enough that the two things I learnt from being hospitalised were 1- keep on top of pain and 2- feel supported (your woman's health physio, GP, relatives, friends, MN? all have a part to play).

To end on a better note, my physio hasn't seen coccyx pain on the scale of mine. She has 10 years experience and I'm in London (ie because of the high volume of births here, she's seen all sorts of cases). Although you may not drive for a while, you are likely to do so before I did.

A big hug.