Twiglett's section .. for those interested

[twiglett]

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Sorry to hear this twiglett, it must have been so distressing

I think you should complain - I was told that at my hospital, even if I had to have a caesarian that they were keen to reassure me that they do their utmost to put baby skin to skin with mum within 30 mins to encourage successful breastfeeding - so your experience really does feel wrong to me.

No idea who you should complain to, but I'm sure someone will know.

hugs

Oh Love, it it the most horrid feeling isn't it, being stranded on that table being stitched up by people who don't know you and don't really see you as anything more than a body.
However, I truly, honestly don' t believe for one minute it will have effected the bonding process with you and M-G. Not at all.
I can tell what kind of mummy/person you are and it would take an awful lot more than that to create a distance.
I think you should certainly make a point of mentioning this at your 6 week check. As you say it may prevent it happening to another mother (I always feel concerned for those women who don't speak English and don't have a partner, because having your insides put back and just staring at the surgical lamp and listening to the theatre staff chat is very very lonely).
TBH, and this is speaking as someone who was crazy as a loon for several days after the CS, so I'm not being judgemental, your hormones are all over the place to be sure and will be making you feel up and down big time. Also, I think, with a CS, you suddenly feel empty, in terms of body image, and when the baby is out and everything is OK you realise, 'hang on a minute, I've just had a big F-off operation and I need a lot of TLC from everyone'. Plus there are very few other situations where you would actually be able to HEAR the theatre staff, it's a bit like being buried alive isn't it?
So don't worry about the effects on your daughter and just try and put the op behind you but do make notes and bring the up at the 6 week check.

Now kiss that lovely baby girl and squeeze your lovely boy and make DH bring you a bacon sandwich and rub your feet, you deserve it.

Poor you twiglett. With all three of mine i was given baby almost immediatly apart from one who had too much mucas in her throat, but all stayed with me whilst i was being stitched up. They were wieghed, measured etc to the side of me so i could watch so i never really noticed the surgeon and what his team were doing.Dh never left the room and we all went to recovery together. Our hosp is big on the bonding and the skin to skin contact.

Maybe you could talk this through with your midwife when she comes to check you over and ask her about the hospitals polocies on all your concerns.

I think it's entirely right to complain about something that distressed you, that NEED NOT HAVE HAPPENED. Hormones or no hormones. Other mothers would undoubtedly feel this way in the same situation, sorry it happened to you.

How awful for you twiglett. It won affect the bonding but I do think you should complain. Congratulations btw. She must be so beautiful!!!!

Haven't read the other responses twiglett but yes, I would complain - to the head of midwifery maybe? Dunno, but it doesn't sound to me as if there was any good reason for keeping you apart for that long and it would have made me cross too. Complain so they don't do it to anyone else.

Ah right, have read the other responses now too. I agree, I'd leave it for a little while and just enjoy her because, as everyone quite rightly says, your hormones are all over the place at the moment and you don't need the stress tbh. I'd complain direct to the hospital when you feel up to it though, not your gp, since it does sound as if the midwife was at fault here.

twiglett I'd complain. I had ds taken away after about 10 minutes because he was getting very cold in the theatre, but we were asked if dh wanted to go or stay with me (I sent him with ds) and the spare midwife stayed with me and talked to me all the way through the rest of the stitching process. Then dh and ds came down to recovery as soon as I was out of theatre. You know it won't have affected your bond with dd at all - but it is bad practice and unless you do omplain it will probably continue.
Having said that, you really don't need to do it immediately

Absolutely complain to the hospital! Those checks could easily have waited 30 mins couldn't they? And she didn't tell you and dh what was happening, which she easily could have. If she'd said "we're going to measure her head, you'll see her in 30 minutes" you could have said "no, do it later".

Its not a disaster, its not going to prevent you bonding, but it was so pointless. And so patronizing of the midwife too. The hospital needs to know about it so they can treat future patients like human beings and not a body on an operating table.

Its good you weren't worried. I'd have been going frantic that the checks had revealed something wrong to prevent dh & dd coming back in.

agree - bonding will be fine, but it is no way to be treated. complain when you have the energy.

Congrats on dd - haven't posted on your birth announcement so let me do it here.
If you want to complain, your hospital should have a Patient Advocacy and Liaison Service who can guide you through the system. But just as effective to write to the head of midwifery, to be honest. I got a very thorough reply to my complaint, signed by the chief exec, so was very pleased that they had taken my concerns seriously. Although it could be that they just wanted to avoid me suing...

eddm's right, PALS units do vary in effectiveness depending on the hospital, but they can be very helpful in making sure you contact the right person.
Twiglett, I really feel for you. I've had two sections and been parted almost immediately from both babies - first time round needlessly, because of a now changed policy on having newborns in recovery, second time because dd had to be taken to SCBU. I don't think any mother should be parted from their baby after birth unless it is medically essential and I say complain now, while you're still cross enough. I did not complain formally with ds because the lovely midwife who whisked him and dh away while I was being stitched was fairly p'd off with the policy too and had explained it to us beforehand. She also made dh's quiet 45 mins with ds extra special by taking photos etc, not faffing around on a computer.
Write to the Head of Women's Services as soon as you have the energy. I would. Just because everything has gone beautifully, does not entitle you to complain about a policy that in most modern hospitals is no longer applied.

Twiglett - I don't want to raise your blood pressure but I am very cross on your behalf. I do think the idea floated in another thread about birth plans for elective sections would be a very good idea. I felt awful that ds was weighed and wrapped before he was given to me and that was just a few minutes. He stayed with me then (in dh's arms after I'd given him a welcome cuddle) and then fed while I was in the recovery room within 30 mins. I was like you - so happy to see him that I didn't notice the stitching at all. I think this is wrong and when you feel stronger I think you should complain as eddm says. I think what happened to you was wrong, stupid and thoughtless and someone needs to point that out to the idiot midwife and her colleagues.

So sorry you felt let down by that experience Twiglett, but be reassured that you will have no problems bonding with your daughter. However as you rightly say, it could be a problem for others.
Write it all down, put it aside then deal with it later - the 6 weeks suggestion is probably a good one. What you could then do is write to the Head of Midwifery about your experience and how it saddened you post delivery. Also tell your community midwife who can also raise it for you.

Unfortunately, in our own theatre the resuscitaire for the baby is at the foot of the bed. The way the theatre is laid out it is in the best position for access of staff. However, babies are dried and examined as fast as possible and given to the mum (or dad) to hold until the op is finished. There is a cot also which can be put beside mum. There are also scales in theatre so the baby can be weighed where mum can see.
Sounds as though the unit you were in was very busy and perhaps they were taking shortcuts to speed up the process - midwife needed elsewhere perhaps. If that is their normal practice, it certainly needs changed. Wait until you are feeling more stable hormonally. Enjoy your daughter

Mears (or anyone) do babies need to be dried / examined / weighed immediately after a cs? They don't after a vaginal birth - the mum can hold and feed the still-mucky baby straight away, and they can do the examining later. Is there a medical reason why it needs to be done differently after a straight-forward elective cs?

I saw dd 5 minutes after she was born, but by then she was a clean little bundle in a pink blanket. I regret not seeing her as she came out. I regret not seeing the placenta too... It took a while to believe that this was the baby I'd been carrying inside me. Actually, I'd feel better if someone could tell me there was a reason why that happened, other than policy.

Zerub
I had ds at a very "touchy-feely" hospital, and he had to be checked, but nothing else. He was lifted out, shown to me over the screen, then taken by the midwife. Within less than a minute dh had him back, wrapped in a blanket but still covered in gunk. They told me they have to check the breathing because c-section babies tend to have more mucus left in the lungs, and they won't deliver straight onto me or do skin-skin in theatre because it is too cold. But if he hadn't shown signs of getting chilled everything else would have been done after I'd come out of recovery.

A consultant at Kings told me he would deliver my son onto me if I wanted - I eventually had another consultant, didn't discuss it with her and she didn't, but I was shown him immediately all gunky - he then vanished for a few moments for wiping and checking and weighing (which really could have waited IMO) and then given to me/dh to hold.

first congratulations!!!!

Secondly- we had the opposite problem with ds2- brought to me quite quickly and we were left alone (me him and dh) but then because he wasn't watched he got too cold and started grunting, and so started a complete nightmare of breathing dificulties, needing to be in an incubator, discusion of whether to send him to SCBU (they didn't as it was full- which wasn't exactly reassuring), and feeding difficulties.

Wth ds1 they whisked him off as they said he was getting cold and he ended up too hot- but no breathing difficulties - so I preferred that result iyswim- a bit too over cautious- we then got to snuggle up together all night. DS2 meanwhile had to send 8 hours in an incubator

I think communication can be bad- it was in my 2nd section and made the whole experience horrible.

Just wondered if you saw the Caesarean prog. last night twiglett? After watching it dh and I agreed that it would seem like a long time to wait while they cut cord, wiped down and weighed baby even tho' in that op it was all done in a few minutes and in same room. I was just completely baffled as to why this 'tidying up' took precedence over the hello cuddle. Completely baffled.

Well I have to say how everything in every hospital is different. 1st time round I got on 15 second look at my baby, but she was prem so I can't expect more. But 2nd tiime around it was similar to your experience Twiglett. Hospital Policy doesn't allow babies in recovery !!! I think it is c**p and I was so upset at the time, and didn't understand. ALso it wasn't explained to me at the time. I HAD to stay in recovery for about 30mins, and most of it I was alone - even dh wasn't allowed in!!!!

It didn't occur to me that other hospitals did it differently, so I was make a bit of a fuss, if only to get a clear explaination of hospital policy that you can challenge. Good luck and Congrats.

BTW dd2 and I have a great bond, overall it made no longterm difference, I just wish it had been explained to me. Like you I was kept waiting from 9am - 4pm (nil by mouth!! in case)

Crunchie, that's outrageous. My baby wasn't parted from me until I thrust him at my mum and said, 'Take him for a walk, I need to sleep"

I had an umplanned C-section at 2.30 pm and after being able to see dd to say hell and kiss her, didn't get to see her again until 6pm,while I was in recovery freezing cold and with my teeth chattering (ditto for the cs), and then only for an hour. Then I got her again for a few hours the next morning then she was taken away until 6pm. This was standard hospital policy where I was and looking back it was pretty disgusting, but I didn't have the knowledge or strength to complain.

The only thing I can say to help you is that I don;t think it has affected my bonding with dd in the slightest. We are very close - 12 months on - and there are no ill effects at all. xx

I mean "hello"

my two penneth as a student midwife is that of Mears that yes, the resucitaire is at the foot of the bed (for possibly good reason, having seen a 'flat baby' rescusitate...), and again, the baby is handed to the dad to show the mum for minutes before the dad is shown to a room with the midwife for baby checks and to wait for the partner to be stitched up.

I've often thought that I would not like my baby and partner to leave me, but I think at the hospital I am training at, the communication between parents and midwives is good, and parents are made aware of what will happen after the birth - unlike your experience, twiglett.

Definitely write a letter, but perhaps don't look upon it as a complaint, rather a comment to hopefully improve services for our CS counterparts.

HUGE CONGRATS TWIGS!!!!!!! well done!!!!! Have been thinking of you!!!!!!!!!
Quackmeister!xxxxx