How does it feel to have a child?

[AmelieinOz]

My husband recently asked me when I want to start trying for a baby. I had my mind set on going to uni next year.

But I am also turning 37, overweight (BMI 27.2), and with hypertension.

If I would have a baby, I should be trying now right?

I am seriously scared about giving birth. I have witnessed a lot of women go on labour and give birth (in my past career).

I am one of those very rare females with no maternal/nurturing instinct to speak of.

But I always hear about how having a baby is worth all the pain and sacrifices (in my case, no more or delayed uni).

So tell me, how does it feel to have a child?

My husband and I haven't talked about it again. It seems the issue's been swept under the rug for now. But the responses here are helping me a lot when I eventually will make an informed decision.

I never felt particularly maternal either and didn't really think about till I was 39, at which point my boyfriend said he'd like to. For me, it was about having a person rather than a baby -- I am glad my brother and sister and parents exist, and thought the idea of creating more people I liked, who would be around for the rest of my life, was quite an attractive one.

I have no doubt that if I hadn't taken the plunge I would have been happy without. But I'm so glad I did. My DD is so lovely. I found it was tough till about 9 or 10 months, and then it got so, so fun...

If you're seriously scared of birth, btw, consider an elective section. I was, too, and I loved my birth - it was the best day of my life.

I'm not overly maternal, but I absolutely love my DD. I didn't bond with her for several months and felt like I was forcing things, but now it's like every day she's doing something new, learning, experiencing things for the first time, and it's actually a joy to see.

Thing is though, I knew I wanted to have a family. I'd always imagined having children and wanted children, even if I'm an unmumsy mum, I wanted to be one.

So maybe you just don't want children? I think your DP is wrong that just by having a child you'll fall in love with it and enjoy if. I thought I would, but I spent the first 4 months of her life resisting the urge to throw her out the window/against a wall/down the stairs because she just would not. stop. crying