Reading this thread makes me wonder if I am this way because I was brought up by a mother who probably regretted having us. My mom got pregnant very young with my older brother, who she physically and emotionally abused. My brother grew up to have anger issues - otherwise a good man, but has a short fuse and if he gets angry it's like he turns into a devil.
My mom is like that, too - gets angry over the smallest things, anger inappropriate to the issue, etc. They hate each other, and can't see they're basically the same person.
To this day, I still hold my mother partly to blame for my brother's failed marriage. He got his then-girlfriend pregnant very young too. Eventually, my brother's ex-wife cheated on him, and I know I was supposed to hate her for it, but I know she and the children must have been suffering for a long time because of his rage issues.
I was spanked and yelled at from time to time as a child, but it was nowhere near what my brother experienced. I guess I was lucky too because when I was growing up, my father's business started to take off, and he managed it from home so he was always there and my mom couldn't act up as much as when it was only her, me, and my older brother at home.
She however has this deep love and unexplainable obvious preference for my younger brother. He's a good person, but was not particularly special. Didn't even excel at school (I did, my brother did until he started to rebel when he became a teenager because, well my mother constantly undermined him and treated him like he's shit). But for some reason, she was my mother's favourite.
But my dad, oh my dad was special.
My husband had a different experience growing up - loving, doting mother, emotionally unavailable dad.
Anyway, I am babbling.