Hi, haven't got time to read the whole thread, but I was deliberating the same kind of questions 6 months ago, so I thought I'd tell you my story:
DS was born 3.4 years ago by emergency cs, following a long, traumatic labour, syntocinon drip, meconium in the waters, etc. He was fine, and like you I recovered very quickly.
When I got pg with DD, I was very much up for a VBAC, did lots of research, was very determined to refuse having a canula put in, only wanted intermittent monitoring, blah blah. I thought I was in for yet another long labour, but boy was I wrong!!! Arrived at the hospital fully dilated, no time for discussions, couldn't care less about whether they monitored or not... After about 1.5 hours of pushing DD came shooting out with her hand up next to her face, giving me a 3rd degree tear. Was stitched up in theatre, felt fine and happy for a few days, then the problems started as I got more and more constipated. Was in absolute agony, got readmitted to hospital, lots of enemas and stuff like that, nothing worked! An absolute nightmare compared to recovery from cs, very traumatic as well for DS who couldn't understand what was going on (he's autistic). After 2 weeks I was finally able to go to the toilet, and then got better quite quickly. My bits still don't feel quite right though.
All in all, I'm v proud I had the VBAC, but if I had known what would happen, I'd have had a planned cs. BUT I do realise I was very unlucky with the 3rd degree tear, the risk of that was quite small, but if the baby decides to come flying out like superman, there isn't a lot you can do to prevent tearing!