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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Id like to hear from women who were terrified of labour but found it okay!

32 replies

Emilyjane11 · 27/04/2015 20:13

Hi ladies,

Currently 30 weeks pregnant and have always been scared of labour, not to the extent of not wanting children but scared non the less.

I have just completed hypno birthing classes and am generally feeling a bit more relaxed about the whole thing but as im now into my third trimester I am starting to worry again and was wondering if any of you felt the same but went on to have a lovely birth?

Thanks x

OP posts:
Milkwagon · 27/04/2015 20:23

I can recommend www.positivebirthmovement.org which may help.x

Roseybee10 · 27/04/2015 20:33

I was terrified. My my and aunt had awful experiences and told me I would be the same. Hypnobirthing really helped me and I actually found labour a very positive and empowering experience. Yes, it hurt A LOT but I found it manageable. I had a long first labour with dd1 but managed on gas and air and a lovely, relaxed home birth with dd2.

Good luck when it comes around xx

Original poster
Emilyjane11 · 27/04/2015 23:43

Thank you :) x

OP posts:
CuppaSarah · 28/04/2015 06:23

I was so scared of child birth I couldn't read anything about it, if someone spoke to me about it, I would have to walk away trying not to cry. But over the months I slowly started to read about it and got less scared. I just exposed myself to the fact it was real and would happen bit by bit. When labour finally came round, I enjoyed it. It did hurt, but it was really exciting knowing my baby was coming, plus the pain was manageable. I found myself feeling very in control and very calm. My labour ended up with vontuesse and a 2nd degree tear, but it wasn't any big deal at all. I didn't even notice either thing. There's so many pain relief options and your brain goes into this amazing coping mode during labour. So even if you don't like needles, they won't bother you during labour at all.

Original poster
Emilyjane11 · 28/04/2015 11:14

Ah thank you. Yeah im totally afraid of needles, tearing during it and stuff so thats made me feel better thank you x

OP posts:
Gunpowder · 28/04/2015 15:54

One of the girls in my antenatal class was so terrified at the first class she wanted an elective section. She ended up with an amazing water birth and only got to hospital 3 hours before. I think she had a doula with her for support but she said her experience was fantastic. Smile

RL20 · 28/04/2015 18:35

I was like you a few weeks ago!
My baby is a week old now. I was petrified to say the least, and in my head was seriously considering asking about an elective cesarean, until I realised that it shouldn't be classed as an 'easy way out' which in my naive head I had thought it would be.
Everyone's births are different so there's no point writing my whole story, but I will say that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had an epidural as my contractions were quite bad due to baby being back to back. My contractions had stopped me from sleeping at home so the epidural was a huge welcomed relief once in hospital and I managed to sleep through parts of my long labour, which I didn't even know was possible!
People recommended a tens machine to me but I never got round to buying/hiring one but wished I had when my contractions started at home, so that's something you could think about.
The care at the hospital was so much better than I thought it would be, considering I had heard negative comments about it (which didn't help with my nerves beforehand!).
If there's anything you want to know, send me a message if you like.
Good luck Thanks

RL20 · 28/04/2015 18:38

Oh and with the tearing, I was terrified too. I ended up having an episiotomy which is where they give you a small cut, and I also tore, but you don't feel it. I had quite a lot of stitches because I tore a muscle too but again, you don't feel it, but then I did have an epidural.
People recommended the epidural to me but I wasn't so sure. But without it I think I might be writing a different story, but who knows!

nutellawithbananas · 28/04/2015 19:44

I was secretly terrified - but went to hypnobirthing and carried on going to a weekly class right to the end, which really helped.
My labour did not go to plan - it was very long (60 hours) and ended up with induction, episiotomy and ventouse. So on paper it looks bad and I won't lie - it was painful. But something primeval just happens - I coped with it because I had to and I knew our child was going to be born. I was scared - but the fear was not panic or uncontrolled - just an awareness that things are not going to plan.
But I would still call it a lovely birth because i was surrounded by people in the hospital who were doing their very best to help me and my baby. I felt so close with DP and that we were the centre of the universe with our baby and all these people around were also part of a good team.
Our baby was delivered - and that was all that mattered...
Good luck for you - I'm sure you will cope...
(At the time I said no more, I'll never do this again, the memory has not faded but we are TTC to hopefully do it again!)

Wishful80smontage · 28/04/2015 19:51

I was a bag of nerves- didn't help that my mum had a terrible time in labour and constantly told me about it!
Everyone I asked said it was awful bar one who said it was fine and I clung to that :)
I imagined it was like torture and was relentless it was neither. It hurts sure but its manageable pain (and I'm a wimp!)
Honestly no where near what I was expecting it is much better you are so focused on getting that little person out you go into a world if your own!

measles64 · 28/04/2015 19:58

Terrified, when I got to the hospital I would not get out of the car, they fetched a wheelchair and pushed me into it. Once they got me in the suite there was so much going on I just went with the contractions. Then an amazing thing happened, I hit the second stage where the pushing starts and I felt euphoric finally I was going to see my baby I was so excited like a child at Christmas, every push brought the baby closer to me. After he was born I barely noticed the work the midwives were still doing. I felt an amazng calm.

Onyvaquimalypense · 28/04/2015 20:23

I was absolutely terrified of the prospect of giving birth and had put off having a baby until quite late because of it. I was particularly scared of tearing (not sure why I was so focused on that but I was a bit obsessed with how awful it would be!). I did perineal massage from about 30 weeks which I think made a difference (my son was 9lb with a massive head and I had no tearing or grazing or anything). I had a long, back to back labour with no pain relief (not out of choice, it just turned out that way) although I spent most of it in the birthing pool, and it was ok. Painful but ok and manageable. I sort of went into the zone and didn't register the pain the way I would normally and time seemed to go very quickly. Afterwards I felt like a total badass for having done it, and I have very little memory of the pain, just a very vivid memory of my son being plonked onto my chest :). Personally, I also found that the less I read about it the better - it's horses for courses but the more I read the more I worried. I figured it was going to happen anyway so I tried to go with the flow :). Don't worry x

imnotproud · 28/04/2015 20:53

My quick answer is "yes" I was terrified but I also made a point of seeking out positive stories and it did help me keep my cool which is a massive help. Once you're in it, you're in it, all very bizarre but if you can keep calm and wait it out (how ever it ends) you should be fine too

Original poster
Emilyjane11 · 28/04/2015 21:41

Ladies thank you so much I will make sure I focus on your positive words. Your all super heroes. I am so excited to meet my baby now after reading those xx

OP posts:
RL20 · 29/04/2015 04:24

You will do great, as does everyone in the end!
Good luck x

Overtiredbackagain · 30/04/2015 08:57

I'm 31 weeks expecting Dc3 and terrified! Trust me it's natural to feel some anxieties, especially with your first. I had two great spontaneous labours, no complications, but still terrified Confused xx

imnotproud · 30/04/2015 20:01

That's a good point Emma, I remember concentrating on meeting my baby, thinking they'll be here soon, and it helped me keep calmer knowing there was a purpose. Good luck

dollydaydream27 · 01/05/2015 09:55

I was petrified had heard many horror stories. I was well aware of all the worste case scenarios and was convinced it would happen to me . However I found it manageable , had a long labour managed on gas and air, for most then had a shot of pethidine which got me through the last few hours. It hurt a lot but I felt I could cope. I had a third degree tear and stitched in theatre was terrified of tears . It was fine though had no idea it had happened , and had spinal block in theatre so felt nothing . I recovered well too. Good luck .

Ilovenannyplum · 01/05/2015 10:11

DS is 8 months and my whole pregnancy I only got told horror stories about labour so was naturally terrified Confused
But my birth was fab, waters broke at 5am and baby was born at 4pm, no tears or stitches or interventions needed. I had no pain relief at all apart from 4 paracetamol as got to the hospital too late. Yes it hurt but it was manageable and I was more excited about finally getting hold of my baby and not being pregnant anymore!

Good luck OP! Smile

Original poster
Emilyjane11 · 01/05/2015 21:08

Ilovenannyplum your birth sounds amazing. Thank you. Hoping for one like yours!

OP posts:
SweetAndFullOfGrace · 01/05/2015 21:16

I was so scared of childbirth I put off having babies until I was in my late 30s and I really considered not having any children.

The only reason I was willing to get pregnant was because I read The Good Birth Companion by Nicole Croft. It made it all seem feasible.

I also had an absolutely fabulous midwife. She was a private midwife and it is hands down the best money I have ever spent. I had a home birth with my own pool and it was very calm and while it was fucking painful I never felt out of control.

dylsmimi · 01/05/2015 21:32

I was scared with ds1 and didn't have a great birth. With ds2 I was determined not to have the same experience and told myself I could do it. I attended relaxing classes and listened to natal hypnotherapy and was very relaxed.
A teacher told me that when you are worried your brain and body tense off (flight or fight reflex) so everything is tense and hurts more and takes longer. Think that's what convinced me to relax and think positively!!
I'm not the sort of person to meditate ( normally thinking of my to do list!) etc but my experience shows there is definitely something in it all
You will be fine and will have a gorgeous baby whatever happens

2014MrsH · 02/05/2015 13:31

I was terrified about childbirth early into my pregnancy. Like you I was terrified of tearing, pain etc.
I decided to forcefully adapt my mindset to feeling positive about it. I went on a really good antenatal course which went through different types of pain relief, types of births etc. plus I took up pregnancy yoga from 16 weeks. The yoga really helped relax me mentally as well as physically in preparation for labour. I decided not to listen to negative stories about labour, and shut people off as soon as they started scaremongering (it felt like that).
I ended up really relaxed during my labour - 49 hours/induction/forceps/episiotomy and to be honest it was not as bad as I had in my head. Your midwife will be really supportive and keep you going.
Enjoy the last few months of your pregnancy, your baby will be here before you know it :)

Marvel101 · 06/05/2015 22:29

Epidural really helped Smile

I was scared about the birth but I remember the day after DS was born I was on a high thinking I want to have another baby

3littlerabbits · 06/05/2015 22:36

Me! And it was totally ok. 3 hrs start to finish, bit like bad period pains, them push push baby!