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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Don't tell me you want a homebirth..................

51 replies

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:31

were the words of my MW when I just saw her for my booking in appointment - I asked her why not and she reeled off what I expected really - previous CS, ventouse delivery last time, my height (I'm short), etc etc etc. I told her actually I was. She then said she couldn't stop me asking for a homebirth, but that seen as though she'd advised against it the onus was on me..........my reponse?? "That's fine - I was expecting you to say that" LOL.

She's told me to come home and think about it.......which I will do, but the more I think about the more strongly I feel I want to go for a homebirth this time round.

Having said all that - she is a lovely MW (had her for DS2) and I'm pretty sure if I stick to my guns and book a homebirth I'll still get the support I need.

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beegee · 02/11/2006 20:25

HRH - I never felt the urge to push for ds either. But for dd - well, I was mooing like a cow and my body just started pushing without me even realising what was happenning!

I was like you - never felt like I'd got to 2nd stage of labour before the ventouse option was strongly recommended.

So different next time round...just waited and let my body do what it knew how to do.

FarMARSWarrick · 02/11/2006 20:27

Birthing from Within is an incredible book. I love love love it!

FarMARSWarrick · 02/11/2006 20:30

Birthing from Within

FarMARSWarrick · 02/11/2006 20:30

Birthing from Within

Pruni · 02/11/2006 20:43

Message withdrawn

FarMARSWarrick · 02/11/2006 20:53

I didn't think it was aimed at women who had already had a vaginal birth. I know it was/is full of examples of vaginal births, but it's aimed at first timers with info for multips as well.

Another great book is Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. Fantastic reading!

motherinferior · 02/11/2006 20:59

My DP was adamantly against my home birth intentions for DD2 (DD1 was a rather horrid birth) and I have to say I just ignored him.

I'm a total shortarse, btw.

lulumama · 02/11/2006 21:00

ina may i want to be her...if not, then to meet her at some point.....

mars ., lost your e-mail addy......

Daisymoo · 02/11/2006 21:08

Thought I'd post some links for more good reading if you're interested:

homebirth vbac pages

vbac yahoo group

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth great book for getting you to trust your body.

I had a homebirth after two pevious cesareans last year and it was absolutely fantastic. My midwife was downright hostile but I managed to find some supportive ones in the same team who were great.

Given that you've already had a successful vbac you're at an even lower risk of anything going wrong than last time, and you have a far higher chance of avoiding interventions by staying at home. Go for it I say!

FarMARSWarrick · 02/11/2006 21:17

lulu: lovelymarslady at aol dot com

Won't see anything before tomorrow as I'm at my sister's visiting my mum before going out to salsa. (Cos I believe it's important to share the minutae of my life)

lulumama · 02/11/2006 21:18

LOL!! thanks mars.....you are truly kind!!

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 21:22

Thanks for all your supportive posts.....watch out for my thread in the next few days on "possible questions DH could ask me"......as he says he's got a few questions to ask me about my plan for a homebirth before he decides to support me or not.

OP posts:
largewhizzingrocketandtonic · 02/11/2006 21:23

Think the midwives to repeat a mantra to all who want a homebirth if it hasnt been all plainsailing in previous prgs but if you are confident then im sure she will come round.

I had a section 1st time and wanted a homebirth with dd i had to fight but got the support in the end. Unfortunatly dd got stuck after 10 hrs of labour at home and i had to transfer in, the doc came in and showed me the ventouse and i pushed with all my might and she came out! I had lots of stitches too but the next time i really wanted a home birth again and had to stand my ground even more so. I went on to have 2 succesful homebirths, they were great and worth the fight. Im prg again due in may and cant wait for #6 to be born at home! Good luck and stand your ground QOQ, it can be done.

lulumama · 02/11/2006 21:23

erm.....your body, your birth,..you decide , non?

we'll sort him out!!!!

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 21:25

well yes I suppose so......but by law it's his house....(mortage is only in his name LOL). And I think having my DH supporting me during labour is quite important

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Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 21:26

and besides - I think as long as I answer his questions about it well enough he'll be happy to support me......just have no idea what he's going to ask LOL.

Anyhow - must fly - got to leave for work in 5 minutes - and I havent' got changed yet !

OP posts:
lulumama · 02/11/2006 21:26

seriously, i do agree you need his support..but ultimately ..you need to feel that you are going for what will give you the best possible birth........i am sure you can answer his questions and show him that this is not a rash decision!

beegee · 02/11/2006 21:35

Thanks mars for posting link - how did you manage it? Why can I never do them?!

I think I love the people who love that book as much as I love that book...so a lot of love from me tonight.

Pruni · 03/11/2006 19:24

Message withdrawn

Toady · 03/11/2006 19:58

Hooray, I am sure you will have a fantastic home birth

SoupDragon · 03/11/2006 20:48

Glay your Homebirth seems on the cards I had to push for mine too but only because DS1 was huuuuge and outside their range for automatically booking me for a HB (DS2 was smaller but this didn't count). It didn't turn out to be a problem when I had to "persuade" the consultant, much to my surprise.

Have to say I disgree with the "your body, your birth,..you decide" school of thought. It's the father's baby too so he should have a say. Just not ehe final say...

gingernut · 03/11/2006 21:07

HRH, thought you might like to know that as a fellow `petite' lady (lol) I managed to deliver ds2, 8lb 5oz with biggish head without assistance (or pain relief). ds1 was ventouse delivery in theatre. (I could have gone for a homebirth second time but chose not to as first delivery was a bit touch and go, nearly ended up with cs and ds1 had to go to special care).

It did hurt A LOT though! But you know about that bit I'm sure.

jennster · 03/11/2006 22:29

Not being flippant, but aren't bigger (and I don't mean really big) babies easier to push if you are upright because gravity works?

I delivered my first (and so far only) dd at home. Am 5'10'' was a big baby, dh was a massive baby and dd was only 6lb10. My widwife was happy for my decision for a homebirth because she thought I was quite 'laid back' (am not must have been the hormones) and realised my decision wasn't due to a hatred or fear of hospital, I deferred my decision until I had actually seen the hospital and didn't have any complications during my pregnancy.

Was a fab decision. Good luck.

sneezyj · 04/11/2006 08:24

I would encourage anyone who wants one to try for a homebirth. I delivered a 10lb 1oz baby at home with only gas and air and countless baths!!
Midwives were brilliant and even though he needed a little oxygen when he came out everything was great. Nobody told me how big he was going to be or I may have changed my mind!!

evenhope · 04/11/2006 14:15

Daft thing is, at my booking-in the MW asked me if I wanted to deliver at home. I was quite shocked- when my others were born you "weren't allowed" a homebirth- so I hadn't even considered it. DH is very anti but only worried about the mess. DD was worried as well but for my safety. MW said as I've had 4 normal deliveries there was no problem, despite my advanced age