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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Don't tell me you want a homebirth..................

51 replies

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:31

were the words of my MW when I just saw her for my booking in appointment - I asked her why not and she reeled off what I expected really - previous CS, ventouse delivery last time, my height (I'm short), etc etc etc. I told her actually I was. She then said she couldn't stop me asking for a homebirth, but that seen as though she'd advised against it the onus was on me..........my reponse?? "That's fine - I was expecting you to say that" LOL.

She's told me to come home and think about it.......which I will do, but the more I think about the more strongly I feel I want to go for a homebirth this time round.

Having said all that - she is a lovely MW (had her for DS2) and I'm pretty sure if I stick to my guns and book a homebirth I'll still get the support I need.

OP posts:

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ja9 · 02/11/2006 17:35

ur a brave lady! good on you. how far on are you?

KatherinewheelMCMLXXII · 02/11/2006 17:36

What has your height got to do with it? Is that really an issue?

lulumama · 02/11/2006 17:43

is her concern that you have had a c.s & a ventouse, therefore there are likely to be complications this time that can;t be dealt with at home? if you are short...can be indicator of smaller pelvis.......IIRC.

but you have delivered a baby vaginally, albeit with a bit of help..so does that not prove your pelvis, as it were.?

i think if you feel that strongly, you will have a better birth at home than one in hospital...especailly as they will be watching you very closely and are likely to start intervening at the first hint of a possible problem..IFYSWIM....

i know there are yahoo home birth & homebirth after c.s groups...if you can find them!! not good with yahooo

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:45

I'm 9+2 - so plenty of time for me to change my mind yet......but I don't think I will.

Apparently shorter women can have more difficulty delivering their babies - especially if they're big......and apparently 7lb 5 and 7lb 11 are 'big' babies for someone my size........we'll soon see about that .

I told her I didn't want shared care (ie seeing the consultant as well) but after a little debate I agreed to see him once (so I'm on his books incase I have complications later on) but then I made it clear that I would be taking the option (which she gave me) of not seeing him again

OP posts:

lulumama · 02/11/2006 17:47

i'm barely 5 foot 2 and delivered a 7 ib 9 oz baby ( VBAC) with no problem.......how tall are you?

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:48

I'm 151cm (not sure what that is in 5ft now)

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Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:50

lulu - my ventouse (VBAC) was with DS2 - who was 7lb 11oz so I know that a baby can get through there

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lulumama · 02/11/2006 17:52

gosh...you are under 5 ft according to my conversion on google!!

you are petite...but you are also capable of delivering a baby vaginally? was the midwife dead set against it..or was it trotting out what she had to say? IFYSWIM?

lulumama · 02/11/2006 17:53

yes...so the pelvis is proved...depends whether the midwife & obs see it like that!!! but ultimately your decision!

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:55

lulu - I have a feeling that she was trotting out what she had to say.........I have a feeling when I next see her just before Christmas (and tell her that I definitely want home "confinement" as it's properly known as ) that I'll get the support I need. I think that as we hadn't actually said antyhing about how/where I intended to give birth......and she did admit quite openly that if I did ask for a homebirth they can't refuse me.

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lulumama · 02/11/2006 17:56

go for it ! Home confinement....sounds quite twee doesn;t it???

Spidermama · 02/11/2006 17:56

Good for you QoQ.

I know some MWs who specialise in VBAC home births. They're in London but I don't remember where you are.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 17:57

well I've agreed to see the consultant ONCE and then I've told her that unless I have complications I have no intentions of seeing him again.

She talked me round to that one, as I innitially said I didn't want to see on at all - but she said that it would make is easier if I needed to see him in the future if I was already booked in with him.........so I agreed to make life slightly easier for her.....after all - despite saying this about the homebirth she really is lovely and I was so pleased to discover it was her.

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Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 18:35

one of the things she asked was "have you discussed it with your DH". I admitted I hadn't yet...wanted to get my booking-in out of the way first.

Anyhow, DH just called - he's been doing interviews with his boss all afternoon, and has gone round to a friends house to wind down (for which he was most apologetic - my response is don't be so bl**dy stupid man, he goes out so infrequently and has so few friends around where we live it's a blessed relief he's finally found some local friends!). I asked him, telling him we didn't neeed to dicuss there and then, how he'd feel about me having a home birth.

I thought he'd say "No way" - but he didn't....said he'd have a few questions he'd want me to answer, and then we can discuss it

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009 · 02/11/2006 18:45

Go for it! If it doesn't work out you can always be taken to hospital to finish off. I know 2 friends who have had horror first births in hospital and have been bold enough to go for home births with 2nd. Both happy ending stories. I too had CS+ventous (both same birth). I hated my hospital exp. and would love a home birth next time but have been told that I won't be allowed one! Does it depend on the NHS trust? Has anyone exp. of being told they CANNOT have a home birth?

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 18:51

that's my thought 009 - I'm not so strongly against it that I wouldn't go into hospital if things looked like they were going are over tt - but I'd love to at least try....

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beegee · 02/11/2006 19:57

Go for it!!

I tried a homebirth with my 1st - had to get transfered (long story - don't think I actually needed to...MW panicking in retrospect) The hosptial were soooo nice when I transfered. I was obviously disappointed and I worried that the MWs at hospital wouldn't respect that - but, no. They were very supportive, actually.

Unfortunately I then had ventouse delivery which wasn't great TBH.

Anyway - managed a homebirth with my 2nd - absolutely fantastic. Just couldn't imagine wanting to do it in a hospital if I had another. It was even better than I had ever imagined.

It's so nice being in your own familiar enviroment and sleeping in your own comfortable bed after. The whole experience was also great because my MWs in this area (different than when I had my 1st) were not only supportive, but positively excited about my decision...such a different approach than when I had my 1st. Although the MW then hadn't actually said so, I always felt she didn't really want all the bother of it. I never felt she actually trusted I could do it IYSWIM...and, of course, she ended up being 'right' because of the transfer.

I think your MW needs to be 100% confident you can do it as it can affect decisions at the birth. The hospital is there as a back-up if needed.

Bozza · 02/11/2006 20:03

Good luck qoq. I had homebirth with DD and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I suppose having delivered 9 lb 10 DS my pelvis had been fairly well proven, but they were predicting a 10lb+ baby and DD was only 8lb 12. I am not huge although quite a bit bigger than you.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 20:05

I'm really hoping that her's was more of a "must say this because I have to" rather than a proper "don't you dare because I think it's a terrible idea".

She was completely supportive of me seeing the consultant once (so I'm on the books "if nesseary") and then telling him I don't want to see him again.

I don't think my notes from DS2 labour helped really. I didn't realise (until today) that the ventouse delivery I had was put down as nessesary because of "failure to progress in stage 2".....well in my opinion I never got to stage 2 of labour.

I was 9 1/2cms - and being prepared for ventouse delivery (at 9 1/2cms) in theatre (in case it failed and they had to give me a GA for a EMCS - all epidurals and other painrelief had failed). 30 minutes later the consutlant/dr whoever he was came back, examined me and said "oh you're 10cm now - you'll have to push for an hour"....I pushed (half heartedly) for about 20 minutes then gave up.....I was physically and mentally exhausted and knew there was no way I was getting him out on my own (especially not being laid flat on my back !. I never felt the urge to push.....so I don't think I'd actually hit the 2nd stage of labour.....I have read in many places that it doesn't "automatically" start as soon as you hit 10cms.........

Still - I'm going to push for this homebirth (providing I answer DH's questions well enough for him to back me LOL). If I have to go into hospital during labour - so be it.....but at least I'll have tried.

OP posts:

lulumama · 02/11/2006 20:09

interesting HRH

have heard of other women not getting the urge to push as soon as get to 10 cm....gives you body a chance to rest and recuperate before the hard work of pushing LO starts...the mentor on the doula course i did referred to it as the 'rest & be thankful stage'

when you are in hospital...should your labour so much as pause...you are intervened with on the grounds of failure to progress....whereas labour can pause and then restart..tends to stop when you are scared/ flat on your back/. unsupported etccc

every thing you won;t be in a home environment....

beegee · 02/11/2006 20:10

Not very good at doing links - but, here goes. Take a look at this book

I read a lot of birthing books before I came accross this one...wish I hadn't bothered reading the others...This is the ONLY book you'll need IMO!! Brill!

Bozza · 02/11/2006 20:11

HRH sounds like staying at home and maybe being a bit mobile might help.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/11/2006 20:12

exactly lulu - I felt so out of control in my labour with DS2 (induced, strapped to monitor for majority of it, flat on my back, failed painrelief etc etc) that I feel that being at home I'll be more relaxed, and in control of what's going on. I basically got through labour with no painrelief last time......if they told me I wasn't getting any I think I'd have coped better - but the physcological effects on me in that labour of thinking I was about to have relief......and then it not working was awful.

OP posts:

FarMARSWarrick · 02/11/2006 20:12

And to add my twopenceworth...... we only grow babies that fit us. So you'll be fine. Well done on your choice.

beegee · 02/11/2006 20:12

Ahhh!

Sorry - go to amazon and look up the book called 'Birthing Fom Within' by Pam England and Rob Horowitz...

At least I tried!

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