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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Broody for no. 3 but worried about past experiences!

30 replies

tatcity · 21/04/2004 22:16

Ok, sorry if this is long, but I need to get this off my chest. I'm on and off broody for another - have 4.5 year old and 18 month old. But really worried about whether I should consider this at all.

Had borderline pre eclampsia with DD1 and even though waters had broken in hospital - was still induced which resulted in extremely quick labour (officially 3 hours) - episiotomy which resulted in 3rd degree tear. No problems after that but waa advised when pregnant with DD2 to have elective C Section (by consultant NOT midwife). Was so scared about possible consequences of another tear, decided to go ahead with section.

Unfortunately that wasn't very pleasant either, as I felt pain during the procedure - they gave me extra drugs to combat this - but still found the whole thing frightening and would definitely not want another C Section. Also got an infection in the wound, which although wasn't serious and healed on its own - made me very anxious and a bit depressed for a while - feeling I had "failed" and that I should have ignored doc's advice and gone down the "natural" route.

Too late for all that now - I know, and I ended up with 2 happy healthy girls at the end of it so can't complain.

BUT I do worry about future births. When I hear stories of natural deliveries I feel really envious and wonder if I could achieve this. What are my chances of having a natural delivery after C Section? And also what are the chances re. tearing again? I would really be very frightened if for any reason I would need a C section again.

Does anyone have any experiences or opinions on these subjects.

I know a lot of people have much worse experiences than these, but I do feel I got a raw deal on both counts which I guess was just unlucky.

Any comments appreciated. In the meantime hopefully my broodiness for another will disappear once my PMT is out of the way!

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WideWebWitch · 22/04/2004 18:44

Hi Tatcity, I can't answer your questions but sorry you had such a hard time. If you search on VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian) you should find some previous discussions on this subject. Is fear of birth the only reason you don't want another or are there other issues too? Hope someone else can help.

smellymelly · 22/04/2004 19:57

I can't help on the c-section, I have heard it is poss to have a natural birth after c/s but I don't actually know anyone who has managed it.

I had 3rd degree tear with 1st born, and was a pretty hatd birth, went on for 36 hours, and I threw up for the last 12 hours etc. But by 2nd I knew so much more, it lasted only 8hrs, and was very calm and relaxed,I also asked them to slow me down when dd was delivered, so I only got a tiny tear, which they allowed heal naturally.

It turned out to be the best experience I ever had....

By the way my 2 are exactly the same age as yours and today I found out I'm pregnant again...Yippee!!!!!!

smellymelly · 22/04/2004 19:57

Meant to read HARD birth not hatd!!

Jimjams · 25/04/2004 10:39

I am pregnant with number 3 following 2 sections. `First was emergency and fine- second elective an awful. NOw I'm pregnant with number 3 I can safely say I am terrified. But I guess I have noc choice. I would like 3 children- and then I know I would feel complete iyswim (and dh has agreed to the snip!)

I'm going to try and talk to someone about it as I suspect i am getting risks etc out of all proportion. I think I'd like to try a VBAC but then that terrifies me as well!

HOwever I know that by this time next year I will hopefully have a third baby and not have to think about this again iyswim. I've felt broody, but anxious about another birth since ds2 was born. But I've always felt 3 would be it iyswim.

BTW just spoken to a friend due next week and she is also terrified (her 2nd). Same as me she's worried about beleding to death (!!!) I've been feeling a bit insane the last couple of days so it was brilliant to find out her fears were the same as mine.
So if you do join us- we can be scared together.

jac34 · 25/04/2004 10:51

I have DS twins now 5yo who were delivered by planned c section. I had a great pregnancy, no morning sickness, fit and well all the way through, birth was fine and I recovered from section very quickly.I'd love another, if I could get DH to agree, but have a worry that if it was so good last time, will it be a nightmare this time !!!!
Perhaps, you should talk to your GP first and seek some advice, as to whether to go for a section or viginal birth.

Janh · 25/04/2004 11:00

Jimjams! You are pg???? Is this an announcement or was there one before that I missed? Congratulations anyway Hope it all goes brilliantly!

Beetroot · 25/04/2004 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Janh · 25/04/2004 11:10

tatcity, sorry to hijack! I can't help I'm afraid but I know there have been a few VBACs on mumsnet.

gloworm · 25/04/2004 11:19

tatcity, i've had 2 sections, both emergency. first time i was awake and had epidural, second i was under general anasthetic. Both times were fine, recovered pretty quickly.
after 2 sections i will not be able to have a natural birth, and while disappointed I would have no problems with having another section.

If it helps I was told by both doctor and midwife that after first section you have an 80% chance of having natural delivery with next child.

Jimjams · 25/04/2004 11:39

gloworm - you can have VB after 2 sections. The success rate is pretty sismilar to VBA1C. Although depends on reasons for the sections.....

Nah it wasn't an announcement. I've muttered it quietly elsewhere (dec thread) but have been having too many panic attacks to think clearly about it!

emmatmg · 25/04/2004 11:56

Hi tatcity, I'm not in the same position as you with C.sections(although DS2 birth was an unplanned homebirth so quite shocking for me) but can understand the broodiness thing 100% and from my experience it just wouldn't go away until DS3 was here with us, Regardless of my worries and woes about the previous births.

Congratulations Jimjams and smellymelly. excellent news

suedonim · 25/04/2004 13:55

Congratulations, Jimjams!

tatcity · 25/04/2004 15:12

Jimjams and smellymelly- congrats on pregnancies!

Thanks for all your advice/comments - I'll have to do some more research I think - but glad I'm not only one terrified of the whole idea!

Would still like to know more about "normal" birth after 3rd degree tear - how do you actually keep the doctors away while you're in labour so you can do things at your own pace. Home birth would be best - but I probably wouldn't be able to do that. (Plus I'm a woos and couldn't cope without drugs!)

Looking into VBACs would help I know but then I have the extra thing of VBABT (new "phrase" vaginal birth after bad tears!!!!)

Perhaps I'll just be happy with my 2 DDs!!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 25/04/2004 22:27

Ooh, congratulations jimjams and smellymelly!

grumpyzebra · 25/04/2004 22:31

Wow, Jimjams, I thought you said that no way would you try for a 3rd, not for you after previous experiences, etc. I hope it all goes well.

bossykate · 26/04/2004 08:09

oh wow! jimjams and smellymelly, congratulations!

Batters · 26/04/2004 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 26/04/2004 09:12

Congratulations smellymelly and JimJams.

smellymelly · 26/04/2004 09:21

Tatcity - What have you decided???? Are you going for No.3?

Thnankyou to all the lovely Mn's who have congratulated us, and I'm sorry Tatcity if they have taken over your thread!

Janh · 26/04/2004 09:37

smellymelly, congrats to you from me too, sorry I overlooked yours before Are you also December thread or January? (have forgotten how to work it out!)

tatcity · 26/04/2004 12:06

smellymelly - haven't decided anything yet, just hoping broodiness will pass.

Need some more advice from anyone out there who can help! Hoping for more response - anyone?????

Definitely would not consider trying yet as too worried! And moving house into new area in 3 weeks so got my hands full at the moment. IN fact as we speak, should be potting up plants to take with me, but instead am indoors on MN!!! Must get on.

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Jimjams · 26/04/2004 16:21

grumpyzebra- we didn't try for a number 3! And after this I am sending dh for the snip. Cannot do this again!

tamum · 26/04/2004 19:18

Jimjams!!!! I only just noticed. Congratulations, I know you're a bit apprehensive, but it's great news

aloha · 26/04/2004 21:44

Ooh, Jimjams and Smellymelly CONGRATULATIONS!!!

  • one each.
tatcity · 26/04/2004 21:47

Hello?

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