Ok, sorry if this is long, but I need to get this off my chest. I'm on and off broody for another - have 4.5 year old and 18 month old. But really worried about whether I should consider this at all.
Had borderline pre eclampsia with DD1 and even though waters had broken in hospital - was still induced which resulted in extremely quick labour (officially 3 hours) - episiotomy which resulted in 3rd degree tear. No problems after that but waa advised when pregnant with DD2 to have elective C Section (by consultant NOT midwife). Was so scared about possible consequences of another tear, decided to go ahead with section.
Unfortunately that wasn't very pleasant either, as I felt pain during the procedure - they gave me extra drugs to combat this - but still found the whole thing frightening and would definitely not want another C Section. Also got an infection in the wound, which although wasn't serious and healed on its own - made me very anxious and a bit depressed for a while - feeling I had "failed" and that I should have ignored doc's advice and gone down the "natural" route.
Too late for all that now - I know, and I ended up with 2 happy healthy girls at the end of it so can't complain.
BUT I do worry about future births. When I hear stories of natural deliveries I feel really envious and wonder if I could achieve this. What are my chances of having a natural delivery after C Section? And also what are the chances re. tearing again? I would really be very frightened if for any reason I would need a C section again.
Does anyone have any experiences or opinions on these subjects.
I know a lot of people have much worse experiences than these, but I do feel I got a raw deal on both counts which I guess was just unlucky.
Any comments appreciated. In the meantime hopefully my broodiness for another will disappear once my PMT is out of the way!