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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Homebirth with first baby - am I being stupid?

57 replies

GingerbreadPudding · 21/12/2014 18:49

I'm not great with pain, I'm not an earth mother type but I'm seriously considering asking the midwife on Tuesday if I can have a home birth. I'm 38, suffering with awful rib pain, pregnancy hives and can barely move about and I want to know I can definitely have a water birth, my doula has a pool we can set up at home.

Hospital is a five min drive away and I'm not dead set in it being at home, I'd like to give it a go but am willing to give it all up and go and get me an epidural if I'm not coping.

I've read lots of stories of women who've had second and subsequent births at home but not many/any about a first baby. If any of you have had, or tried to have, a home birth with your first could you share your story?

OP posts:

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 21/12/2014 18:55

I had my first baby at home. If you look at it as labouring at home for as long as you can, you can always change your mind and go in to hospital.

With my first I was in labour for about 18 hrs, I had a super cautious MW come out in the early stages who sent me to the maternity unit to get checked out. I went in, was hooked up to a monitor for about half an hour, all was fine so I came home again (at about midnight!). I then laboured at home with DH overnight and called the MW again in the morning. DS was born about 2pm with 2 MW in attendance.

It was hard work, but being at home where I could move around as I needed to really helped. (thought I might want to be in water but ended up not able to keep still). Also having one-to-one MW care was great.

AnnieLobeseder · 21/12/2014 18:58

I would have loved a home birth with my first, but the idea terrified DH so much he was dead set against him. He was so anxious about the whole birth process, I decided to have a hospital birth to calm him down. And I deeply regret it. My experience in hospital was awful, and what would have been a simple easy water birth at home ended up being a long drawn-out traumatic birth in hospital after the told us blatant lies to stop me using the birth pool, and I ended up on my back - the worst position to give birth. I pretty much lose the use of my legs when I'm in labour, and couldn't move on "land" to get into a good position to give birth.

The whole experience was so awful it was over 18 months before I was remotely ready to try for DC2. I had a home birth with her (and although I had decided to ignore DH's wishes if wanted to go to hospital, he was also not keen to repeat the hospital experience), and it was amazing. Even though my legs "didn't work", I could float about, get comfortable and change position as the midwife suggested. So while DD2 was back-to-back, it was still a far less painful and difficult birth than DD1.

I see no reason why any woman shouldn't have a successful home birth first time around if she has no medical reason that contra-indicates it and has a supportive midwife team.

Good luck!

Guyropes · 21/12/2014 19:06

Sounds like your set-up is good, and your attitude is appropriate. Go for it.

I wanted a hb for my first, and was annoyed by what I viewed as unsupportive midwife. But she could see pre- eclampsia setting in...

2nd time around she was fab and I had a lovely hb.

I think midwives like to see you have a normal deliveryfirst , then they're confident you can do it again.

nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes · 21/12/2014 19:12

Do it! Both my babies were home births and fab experiences - both water births with no pain relief.

Birth doesn't have to be medical and scary and painful. Your contractions won't be bigger than you because they are you. If you get a point where you think you can't cope with the pain it probably means your baby is a few minutes away.

Being relaxed is the key. Most people will labour better when relaxed, most people are more relaxed in their home environment.

I wanted to avoid hospitals, interventions, needles, surgery, and definitely wanted a water birth is staying home was the logical choice for me.

Hypnobirthing helped set the scene in that birth doesn't have to be gruesome or painful so I'd recommend that too.

Good luck, you'll be fine

Cathpot · 21/12/2014 19:30

I also had both DDs at home and it was a very positive experience. I think not being hung up about having it at home come what may is important and also finding a midwife on your side. The first midwife I asked (during the tour of the very depressing local hospital) LOVED home births and was the one who delivered DD1 in the end. I didn't realise until later how fab she was, so supportive and willing to sit back and let me get on with it. With the second home birth I felt much more in control which was good as the midwives - while very nice- were not used to home births- we had moved counties and they had just started asking hospital midwives to come out into the community. I felt confident enough to ask them not to keep checking how dilated I was and once DD2 arrived I made them leave her on me skin to skin while they did the checks, until she had had a feed- this was advice from a breastfeeding counsellor. It was a really lovely experience. I had a tens machine and gas and air. I didn't ask for pethidine to be available second time as I figured if I got to the point I needed it I should probably go to hospital. I made sure my DH knew that if things didn't look great I was happy to go to hospital and I think that was reassuring for him.

MoreSnowPlease · 21/12/2014 19:39

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Guyropes · 21/12/2014 19:48

More snow .... What drugs did you find were unhelpful?

Original poster

GingerbreadPudding · 21/12/2014 20:02

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I second the question - which drugs weren't any good?

OP posts:

thejoysofboys · 21/12/2014 20:33

I was supposed to have a home birth for DS1. MW was fully supportive. As long as you can maintain a positive, relaxed attitude then you'll be fine.
As it was, I was transferred to hospital at 10cm dilated and DS1 was born within 5 mins of us arriving in the ambulance.

All was fine. I was transferred for good reason and I was completely happy with the decision. I would have had a HB second time but I would have had DS1 wandering around the house which I didn't want.

NitramAtTheKrap · 21/12/2014 20:45

I had a lovely home water birth with my first. Just amazing.

I had an unexpected home birth with my second - total length of labour about 1/2 hour. Even more amazing.

snailsinlove · 21/12/2014 20:53

I'm 31 weeks with my first and planning a home birth with a Doula and a pool I've had a bit of tutting and people calling me 'brave' but hospital seems like a much scarier option! Glad the new NICE guidelines came out recently, they now say the safest place for a woman having a low risk pregnancy to give birth is a midwife led unit or at home

MoreSnowPlease · 21/12/2014 21:01

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MehsMum · 21/12/2014 21:03

Re drugs, syntocinon made me throw up with DC1 so I had a natural third stage with the others.

I also had meptid with DC1 and it left me completely spaced out for about 12 hours afterwards.

Gas and air though... fine. Loved the stuff.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

MoreSnowPlease · 21/12/2014 21:09

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pebblepots · 21/12/2014 21:13

I had a home birth with my first child and all went well. Pain relief was tens machine, then the pool, with some hypno birthing techniques.

lisaloulou84 · 21/12/2014 21:34

I could be totally wrong here so please feel free to ignore me if so, but I thought you could to have a home birth if you were high risk, and at 38 are you not considered high risk ?
I couldn't contemplate a home birth at all. One trip to special care is enough but I'd like to know it's right there if I need it again should I have another baby.

Original poster

GingerbreadPudding · 21/12/2014 21:50

On the 'risk' sheet in my maternity notes you have to tick three boxes to be 'high risk' the age mentioned is over 40 to be a 'risk' so it looks as though my decrepit old body isn't that old after all. I tick no boxes at all.

OP posts:

Churchillian · 21/12/2014 21:54

You're not considered to be high risk as an older mother if your pregnancy is normal otherwise. I just had a home birth at 43 and the midwives had no issue with it.

avocadogreen · 21/12/2014 21:56

I wish I had... I wanted to but people talked me out of it. I ended up with a lovely easy water birth at a midwife led unit, so I would have been absolutely fine for a home birth!

Artifexmumdi · 21/12/2014 22:01

I had a homebirth with my first and second and would have done with DS if he hadn't tried to punch his way out a month early. I agree with what MoreSnow above says. It is the aftermath. I loved cuddling up with my new baby in my bed, in my house, in my territory.

anothernumberone · 21/12/2014 22:02

Never had one but if I had my time over I would definitely have tried on number 1 when I lived near a maternity hospital. Sadly back then I thought you had to be crazy not to have a baby in a hospital but obviously I was rediculously wrong.

notasleep · 21/12/2014 22:11

Go for it... 5 mins transfer from
hospital is perfect and will make you feel more at ease.

Wanted a home birth with dcs 1&2. With dc1 Dp was really worried so I agreed to go to the MLBU which was great anyway, had a waterbirth,no complications... Would have been fine at home and probably quicker too as labour stopped on arrival at hospital(this is common apparently)

Dc2 I was all set up for hb, hired pool etc but when in labour community mws thought I should go to mlbu again due to an issue related to the tear I had with dc1 - totally unnecessary as it turned out, was an incredibly easy and quick birth and I would have loved to have been at home! I felt so much more in control and at ease in my own environment prior to transfer both times.

applecatchers36 · 21/12/2014 22:15

Wanted a home birth but was 2weeks overdue and had to be induced. Very long medicalised labour that I did not want but baby's heart beat dipped so in the end very glad to be in hospital. Also ended up asking for an epidural that I never thought I would want ( planned a home water birth) so would just emphasise be flexible and prepared for anything. Would have loved to be in my own bed afterwards but the other side to that is that I found the breast feeding nurses really helpful, didn't know what the hell I was doing and having them on tap was so helpful. Also there was something reassuring about all the checks they do as an anxious first mother. It also enabled my partner to get some sleep after a 30hr plus labour by going home.

MoonHare · 21/12/2014 22:15

You're not being stupid. I had my first in hospital after labouring at home for 7 hours first. My two subsequent babies were both born at home. My first birth experience gave me the confidence to know I could do it at home. For me, that was all about coping with pain.

I could easily have had my first at home and the whole thing would have been quicker and much nicer afterwards, even though her birth was a positive experience.

Book in for a home birth, labour at home for as long as you can - which might turn out to be all of it - but be prepared to transfer in for pain relief (or another reason if mw recommends it).

Homebird8 · 21/12/2014 22:18

I had home births for both of my DCs. I planned water for both of them. Wouldn't get out of the bath for long enough to get into the pool with the first, and was happier on my feet so didn't use the pool with the second.

DC1 came out after 19 hours labour, 2 1/2 of them pushing, with his arm across his neck to his opposing ear sticking the Vs up to the wonderful midwife. DC2 was a shorter labour, about 5 hours with ten minutes pushing.

The only pain relief I couldn't have at home was an epidural. I got a prescription for meptid from the GP which the midwife could administer as necessary (and which I didn't need either time). I borrowed a TENS machine from the hospital. I don't know if it worked but I wasn't prepared to take it off in a spirit of experimentation to find out! And I used entonox (1 1/4 canisters the first time and only 1/4 the second).

The bath was good, standing up was good, eating whatever I wanted was good, massage was good, telling funny stories with the midwives was good, having my own bed afterwards was good. If I wanted another child, I'd do it again, at home, in a flash.

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