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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Homebirth with first baby - am I being stupid?

57 replies

GingerbreadPudding · 21/12/2014 18:49

I'm not great with pain, I'm not an earth mother type but I'm seriously considering asking the midwife on Tuesday if I can have a home birth. I'm 38, suffering with awful rib pain, pregnancy hives and can barely move about and I want to know I can definitely have a water birth, my doula has a pool we can set up at home.

Hospital is a five min drive away and I'm not dead set in it being at home, I'd like to give it a go but am willing to give it all up and go and get me an epidural if I'm not coping.

I've read lots of stories of women who've had second and subsequent births at home but not many/any about a first baby. If any of you have had, or tried to have, a home birth with your first could you share your story?

OP posts:

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Mulderandskully · 21/12/2014 22:20

I would go for it! I would love one but DH is not supportive. Luckily I've now visited the MLU and it seems nice so I'm a little happier. HB next time though if I can persuade him!

AnnieLobeseder · 21/12/2014 23:03

Mulder, listening to my DH and going to hospital for DD1 is one of my biggest regrets. While the child is both of yours, the birth is yours and yours alone. Have the birth you want.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 21/12/2014 23:07

I had two homebirths, but not with my first. I wish I hadn't planned a hospital birth for my first. I think they really fucked things up for me.

Just be realistic that your chances of transferring are higher than someone who has given birth before.

Mulderandskully · 21/12/2014 23:26

Thanks Annie, food for thought

Guyropes · 21/12/2014 23:27

Mulder... I agree with pp. your partner's role is to support you in the choices you make for birth. It's not his place to have his need for security met while your need for comfort/ relaxation/ being in control / whatever is not being met.

pinkypurplegiraffe · 21/12/2014 23:30

Going against a trend here, but I wouldn't for a first baby.
The NICE guidelines actually say:
"Low-risk women who haven't given birth before should be advised to plan to give birth in a midwifery-led unit (freestanding or alongside)."
This is because:
" The Birthplace Study found that 45 out of 100 women having their first baby were transferred to hospital, compared with only 12 out of 100 women having their second or subsequent baby.
For women having their second or subsequent baby, a planned home birth is as safe as having your baby in hospital or a midwife-led unit. However, for women having their first baby, home birth slightly increases the risk of a poor outcome for the baby (from 5 in 1,000 for a hospital birth to 9 in 1,000 – almost 1% – for a home birth). Poor outcomes included the death of the baby and problems that might affect the baby's quality of life. "
That is the evidence summary, but everyone will flood you with their own anecdotes. At the end of the day it is up to you, but you need to look at the benefits and risks and make an informed decision.

AnnieLobeseder · 21/12/2014 23:40

As a pp said, for your first baby, rather than fixating on having a successful home birth, rather just go for labouring at home for as long as you and your MWs feel is safe and comfortable? That way you might have a successful birth, but you'll also be more mentally prepared to transfer to hospital if necessary.

QuicheConverter · 21/12/2014 23:45

If you look at it as labouring at home for as long as you can, you can always change your mind and go in to hospital.

This is what my MW said to me - stay at home as long as you want to - be that for a bit or until the baby is here.

I have had 2 home births - DC1 & DC2 and both were very positive, manageable and empowering experiences. Being in my own space deifnitely helped me to stay calm and cope well. I think DH felt able to contribute and valuable, and the bedding, bathroom and food were all just to my standard

I found the book "Stand and Deliver" helpful, along with the Homebirth UK website and the Tell Me a Good Birth Story group.

AvaCrowder · 21/12/2014 23:50

I turned up in labour at the Royal Free to have dc1. Our midwife told me that I was a natural and should have had a homebirth. It was funny looking back, I got the bus to the hospital and was in labour on the bus, like mooing, and so big in the tummy it must have been clear what my trouble was. Then for the next two I had homebirths. My dh was worried about the first HB, I think he always wanted to know that I would be looked after, but at home you are, you have a midwife to yourself. My midwife had had a homebirth herself. After the first HB he was fully on board.
For me it's the I want! When it's your own home you just feel more in control, and after birth, you get into your own shower, then your own bed, with dh or gm bringing you food. But have fun with your little baby!

GothMummy · 21/12/2014 23:54

Hi, I had a HB with my first. Things to remember are that if you use gas and air and have a long labour, the G and A can run out. This happened to me and it was awful and I got very panicky as I didnt realise I was only "allowed" two cannisters.

The other thing to check which I didnt know would happen is that if you transfer in for stitching after the birth (as happend to me) you may not be allowed to take the baby in the ambulance with you. My midwives said that my tiny new baby would have to stay with (shell shocked and horrified) DH and he could follow later in the car with the baby.

I thought this was ridiculous so refused to relinquish grip on my baby and just clung to him as I was led to the ambulance.

This may not be the policy in your area but its worth checking as I had no idea that would happen. My tearing was too complicated to fix at home and my placenta didnt deliver intact either so bear in mind you may give birth at home but prepare yourself for being fixed up in hospital afterwards!

The other thing

GothMummy · 21/12/2014 23:59

Oops wanted to say that my second was born in the MLU birthing pool with aromatherapy and twinkly lights and music and was a positive 3 hour experience so dont dismiss your MLU.

Blu · 22/12/2014 00:06

I was older than 38 when planning a home birth for first baby. Age per we isn't a risk is it? None if the mws mentioned it as a concern to me.

Just think of all the first births that happen easily and complication free in hospital : they could all have happened at home had the women chosen .

HollyBdenum · 22/12/2014 00:07

I had both my children at home, and was very glad. Most of the women I know who had first babies in the local hospital had a pretty dreadful time. I strongly suspect that if I'd laboured in hospital I would have had a similar experience, but DD's birth was lovely, and I had two midwives looking after me.

slightlyglitterstained · 22/12/2014 00:23

Being over 40, and on your first birth, ticks some risk boxes. For me this meant automatically being under consultant care, and considered higher risk. I assumed this meant homebirth was out of the question until asked where I was planning to give birth. I was curious, so asked for more info.

By the time I'd got to 34/36 weeks or so and every scan and test had been entirely normal, the doctors were happy that I wasn't actually high risk and off I went for my homebirth. So it is entirely possible to fall into one category at the start of your pregnancy and move into another by the end, if it's just age related.

anothernumberone · 22/12/2014 00:44

Just on the high transfer rate for first time mothers. I have not read the full NICE report because I won't be having anymore children but an Irish study showed a high transfer rate associated with women having their first baby was mainly based on them looking for additional pain relief rather than emergency situations arising. This might be worth looking at a UK version of this research to see if it is similar there.

DramaAlpaca · 22/12/2014 00:50

I had DC3 at home & it was a wonderful experience, truly amazing. I was 33 at the time.

I wouldn't have done it with my first, though. I hadn't a clue how things would go & how much pain I would be able to cope with. And in the event I found I couldn't cope. I had a very long labour & ended up with an epidural & forceps.

Things were very different with DC2. I was in control all the time, needed minimal pain relief and had a normal, easy birth. So when it came to DC3 I decided a home birth was the way to go. It was fine, I just had g&a & it didn't run out until the pushing stage, but as it my third the pushing stage was so fast (literally a couple of minutes, he practically fell out) that I didn't need it.

Personally, I think it's really important to have your partner on board. My DH wasn't sure at all about a home birth at first, but after a chat with my midwife he was convinced & was right behind me & very supportive. I couldn't have done it without him, he was amazing.

If you are really keen on a home birth and are open minded about having to transfer in, which it sounds like you are, why not go for it & see how you get on. It's good that you are only five minutes from the hospital (I was too and it was an important factor in my decision to have a home birth) and it sounds like you are willing to be flexible. I remember telling my midwife I wanted to give birth at home, but if at any time she thought I should go in I'd take her advice & wouldn't argue. It didn't come to that, but it was something I'd given a lot of thought to.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Homebird8 · 22/12/2014 01:20

Stats are always tricky. If all the easy first time births with good outcomes happened at home, and all the ones which really needed intervention, some of which we know don't have such happy endings, happened in hospital, then the stats would say that hospital is a very risky place to have a baby.

Don't listen to stats. Listen to professionals who are only thinking about the evidence given in your case, and listen to your heart. You can only 'plan' to be at home anyway. You, and your midwifery team, will respond to things as they progress and labouring at home then going in for the birth might be one outcome. Of course, then you'd add to those stats for transfers!

What is right for you, is right for you. Trust yourself. In answer to your question, you are not being stupid.

fattycow · 22/12/2014 15:59

Perfectly fine to have a home birth with any baby!

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 22/12/2014 16:57

Homebird - that isn't how they do the stats. They compare women who were low risk at the onset of labour.

anothernumberone · 22/12/2014 17:36

Homebird woman who were home births up until they end do not get reclassified as hospital births when they transfer so their outcomes show up in home birth stats iyswim.

I personally would be more inclined to do the research than just speak to HCPs all though they would feature very heavily in my over all judgement. After I had a section on my first I went to see a consultant privately who told me I would never have a VBAC. I went out to his waiting room, the 6 women out there had sections it was clear to me which he considered Vbacs to be unusual as he had a personal preference for sections. I valued his opinion but he was wrong I did have 2 subsequent Vbacs.

MoonHare · 22/12/2014 17:58

Just popping back to say that since the main reason for women transferring in to hospital during a planned home birth is for pain relief the best thing you can do is be really prepared for how you will cope.

OP - you've said you're not good with pain, child birth is excruciatingly painful (well, at least that seems to be the experience of most women and was certainly mine!) however for a straightforward birth, and there's no reason yours won't be, it is possible to cope and manage the pain and do it without an epidural. And for pain not to be your abiding memory of what giving birth was all about.

A brilliant read is Juju Sundin's 'Birth Skills', loads of practical techniques for managing pain. A very positive and useful book. I highly recommend it.

lilmamma · 22/12/2014 23:10

I think with your first you have to have an open mind, my first I ended up with manual rotation and forceps, which they couldn't do at home, so had my other 3 at hospital, one was more or less straightforward, but I needed help with no3,and no4 was forceps aswell and 2 trips to theatre, my daughter was labouring well at home, and the midwife came out and said she would be perfect for a home birth as she 4cm and quite happy in the bath, but she didn't want to, which was just aswell she took 33 hours in the end and hemorraghed badly afterwards. But if you feel happy enough then go for it,

harrowgreen · 23/12/2014 09:45

I don't understand.

You say that you're no good with pain, but want to restrict yourself to nothing more than a pool?

If you don't want pain, then surely you need to be in a hospital where you can have the heavy-duty drugs??

HollyBdenum · 23/12/2014 11:22

I think it depends. Talking to people who've had babies at home, it does seem as though just being at home and feeling comfortable and not in a strange place and being able to move around etc seems to reduce pain dramatically, as the only people to go to hospital for pain relief were the ones who were actually having non straightforward labours and needed some intervention anyway. I'm a wuss when it comes to pain, but pain wasn't really an issue for either of my home births.

And the evidence shows that water is more effective than petah dine, so you might as well try it and transfer if you want an epidural, as most people in hospital have to wait for ages for an epidural anyway.

Original poster

GingerbreadPudding · 23/12/2014 12:08

Thanks for all your posts, they've really been helpful. I discussed it with my midwife today and she was keen and is planning a home visit for 36 weeks to talk things through.

Yes, I'm not great with pain (who is?) but at home you don't get nothing - you can have gas and air and a pool. I also have a doula there who will massage and help me with my hypnobirthing. I'm happy to transfer to hospital if I want an epidural. I don't want pethidine anyway, so it's only epidural I would get in hospital that I can't get at home.

I figure, I might as well give it a go. If I need or want to transfer, I will.

OP posts:

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