how much control do you have over what happens at a homebirth?

[gigglinggoblin]

this is baby no4, so i do feel i know a bit about giving birth now but have never done it at home.

spoke to mw about homebirth and she said they were wonderful but i have to have a second person there to look after my other kids, i cant give birth in my bath, it isnt big enough (she hasnt seen it) and my floors will not support a birth pool (i was talking about a small one, she has only ever heard of birth pool in a box).

i am rather deflated and more than a bit upset. if i go for a hospital birth i still cant guuarantee childcare so its a very real possibility i will be alone, whereas at home i can stick a video on, have the kids in the room, whatever. i know no birth can definately be planned, but i felt this was the best option.

im a bit worried that if i say well i can only have my partner here she will say i have to have a hospital birth. she said there may be problems having a home birth cos of other stuff aswell, tho this was never pointed out as a problem with last baby

i am hoping this is just hormones making me feel so panicky, but i am really quite upset about it all.

any advice from people who have had a home birth?

The people I hired my pool from said that full, it weighed as much as 8 people. Most rooms can handle the weight of 8 people!!

I thought it was well worth having a pool rather than a bath, because you can kneel up and lean forwards on the pool edge - I found that to be completely effective pain relief. Whereas in a bath, you would have to be lying down to be immersed, wouldn't you?

Tell her there are people you have arranged to call for childcare when you start labour - that is the truth, not lying!

Hi just wanted to add my story hoping that it could help any potential home-birthers...

I had my home waterbirth planned out to perfection, It was everything I wanted and needed it to be -my labour started one evening and my husband and mother-in-law were there to assist, as planned, all was wonderful until the midwife (who I had not met before) lost her nerve and called an ambulance, this obviously panicked me and I ended up giving birth 2 hours later in hospital for absolutly no good reason whatsoever.
It turned out that in her 2 years of community midwifery she had never been the lead midwife and never had a waterbirth.
It was just bad luck for us because most m/w's in our area are pro homebirth.
I would just suggest that if you come up against unsupportive m/w's it may have something to do with their lack of confidence or even bad staffing levels which could directly impact on you.
I will have another atempt at a home birth but will pay for a private m/w next time (started saving already!!)
good luck x

Stupid woman do go to the link for the AIMS site. have what you want, stick to your convictions, good luck.

Gigglingoblin- I had a home birth with my second child 3 weeks ago. I had a Made in Water pool and found it very comfortable and deep enough. I'm 5' 8" so I was worried that it would be too small, but it was excellent. My mw said that it was the first 'blow up' pool she had seen - all the others ones she had attended had hired them and they were HUGE!

As for not supporting me, my mw was the one that suggested a home birth when I first saw her. I was totally against the idea at first but 7 months later, definitely wanted one! My mum and dad took ds out for the day (I started at 11am) and dd was born in the pool at 1.38pm. As for floors not supporting it, we had it downstairs in the front room, in front of the tv (with the curtains closed obviously!!!) Dh filled it up to the level of the handles and when I got in, it was the right depth for me. I found the cushioned sides were really comfy to lean on when I had a really strong contraction.

There has been a lot in the media recently about more support for women wanting home births. If you get a mw that's enthusiastic then that's great. On the other hand, if you get a mw that is totally out of her depth and objects (sounds like yours!) it can have a negative effect on you and your pregnancy. I would say stick to your guns and plan for a home birth. They can't actually refuse you unless they have a well documented staff shortage - and who's to say if you went into hospital, that you would be attended to throughout labour - the mw could be so busy with other mums as well you could be left to it!

I would tell her what she wants to hear and say that a friend will come to look after the children when she comes to do your birth plan, if that is not the case on the day then "such is life"

I don't know what the other issues are but if they are of a medical nature, you can ask to see a Consultant and they will look over your case and approve it or not. DD was born at home, DS was prem so I had to go and have swabs taken at hospital and then the consultant signed me off.

Also, if she is not pro-homebirth, maybe ask for a midwife who is?

Just tell her what she wants to hear and you can give birth at home if you choose. She can't stop you.
I hired an independent midwife for the last birth, Caroline Flint. It was great. They were briliant even for a planned hospital delivery when we realised it was twins and one twin was born at home anyway but they did both births.

Blu - I gave birth in a standard bath on all fours, not lying down which would have been ghastly! My midwife pushed my back down whenever I came too high out of the water and the baby was totally immersed throughout.

My local cottage hospital has a midwife-led unit and they are all so confident and adoring of homebirths that they were all fighting over who would get to come out to me! I wish every had access to such good midwifery.

hello
i too have just had my first baby Joseph James Born at 5.26am on Tues 19th ! I had planned a home birth and had an incredibly supportive team of midwives who all actively promote home births (Winchester). My waters broke at 7pm in monday evening and as we needed to go shopping and I felt fine we carried on as normal and did our weekly shop at tescos. Then we came home and watched tv- my choice of channel obviuosly! We went to sleep at around 10.30 as i knew it was going to be a while before anything happened and i would need all of my energy for later. My contractions started to become stronger around 3.30 so we phnoed for some advice but as we were coping well by ourselves and it was so early on we said we didn;t think we needed anyone. By about 4.30 they were almost back to back and by 4.55 i felt ready ro push!! dh called the midwife who said she would be there asap. We were imagining a good hour or so of pushing but Joseph had his own ideas and popped out half an hour later into his daddy's arms. The midwife arrived just in time for his fisrt scream!! I loved ever minute of it and wouldn't change it for the world. I felt completely relaxed adn in control throughout. It funny everyone says you'll know what to do when the time comes and your body almost just gets on with the job in hand! I ended up having to transfer to hospital to have stitches as he had arrived so quickly and was 8lbs 10!! i would def plan for a home birth again- just brilliant!!!

thanks for replys, am feeling a bit better about it now, more willing to be awkward if necessary! unfortunately my gran thinks its a horrendous idea so might just avoid talking to her (once the idea is there she sticks with it, no point trying to change her mind)

congrats to those who have just had babies am hoping i wont need stitches as this is no 4, i didnt last time so fingers crossed