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Childbirth

Husband not up for a home birth

35 replies

ReadyForDinner · 16/07/2014 21:52

Hello. Im pregnant with our second child and quite keen on the idea of a home birth. My husband says Im crazy, why would you take the risk. I have said that the first hint of anything being wrong you are going to be whisked off to hospital and that the midwives that assist home births are the most experianced. Although its me that is going to be doing the hard work I want us to both be comfortable and on board with the decision.

Anyone up for helping me talk him round / into it?

Our first was delivered in hospital with forceps after and hour and a half of pushing and although it was a bit fraught at the last minute the labour and even the delivery were a wonderful experiance. The large university hospital is five-fifteen mins away in a car depending on the time of day. My daughter was 8lb 12 and my only concern is that this one is likely to be bigger, though the first has likely prepared the road if you see what I mean :/

OP posts:

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QuipFree · 23/07/2014 00:52

Also, second births can be quite quick (you hope!) and with a HB you don't have to panic about childcare for DC1.

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Scuttlemum14 · 23/07/2014 07:16

Wow I can say from reading replies everyone has summed exactly what my birth with ds was like. It was quick, they didn't expect it to be so I was left on my own with dh running to find a mw. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't very great either. My main reason for asking for a HB (and dh wasn't on side at first) was because I wanted a new relaxing environment. I have said from the start to dh that should they request I go in then I will (I promised) for whatever reason (although staff shortage would pee me off no end if that was reason!). I haven't gone OCD on it and because I'm quite calm, he is! We shall see but I'm sad to say I'm
Losing hope having been ten days early with ds and now due today with this one and nothing :(

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LEMmingaround · 23/07/2014 07:34

Sorry but I agree with apatosaurus and I do agree that the fathers wishes should be taken into consideration.

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sanfairyanne · 23/07/2014 09:53

sympathies, scuttlemum. honestly though, if most babies are born after their due date, then your baby is behaving perfectly normally. in France, you would be due next week!

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Scuttlemum14 · 23/07/2014 13:18

Ooo really? I'm on verge of unpacking homebirth stuff I got ready as it just stares at me like hah unlucky! I'd just like te opportunity to try for one! And honestly got anyone like OP there is NOTHING wrong with trying for one! That's been my attitude all along. If you end up in hospital then that's where you'd have been anyway. I understand about emergencies but from all the info I have read, in hospital you would still have to get the doctors team, you preppe and theatre. Be open minded and listen to health professionals and husband, no one else opinion matters when giving birth. I know dh is getting quite upset baby isn't here so I will probably agree to induction as hes worried and he gave me the opportunity so I will give it him back and listen to him

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ChazzerChaser · 23/07/2014 14:07

Scuttlemum I agree don't give up! From an outside perspective it seems odd you think you have to with so long to go. But I know it feels rather different when it's use. Tell you what though, if you unpack everything it'll be a sure fire way to get everything moving. Make it a little bit inconvenient and it'll happen like smoking at bus stops

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sanfairyanne · 23/07/2014 21:02

i had a sweep at home at 8 days overdue. gave birth at home a few hours later.

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splendide · 25/07/2014 21:02

I'm hoping for a home birth for my first but no idea if I'll get it. One of my reasons is that I think it'll loads better for DH.

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Minifingers · 26/07/2014 00:02

"Sorry but I agree with apatosaurus and I do agree that the fathers wishes should be taken into consideration."

Why? Would you take their wishes into account when it comes to pain relief? This can affect the baby too.

Why is it ok to veto a homebirth when this is no more risky for the OP's baby and is LESS risky for her, but not ok to veto pain relief on the grounds that he's concerned about breathing difficulties or the baby having problems with breastfeeding?

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MoonHare · 30/07/2014 21:56

My youngest two were both born at home. DH was wary at first but speaking to the MW at the 36 week home birth visit put his mind at rest. He is now a huge advocate of HB from a father's point of view he felt much more involved and relaxed at home. This is a very interesting article he might like to read;

www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/myth-safer-hospital-birth-low-risk-pregnancies

scuttlemum14 I gave birth at home at 40+12 with no.3. Don't give up, it feels like the longest days of your life at the time but in hindsight was no time at all really. I had a sweep at 40+10.