Did you just push and push or wait ??

[JontyMyers]

Argh so confused when i think of giving birth i see 9-10cm as the green light to push like crazy until baby fully delivered but midwife has said this can increase the risk of tearing but i thought waiting and having the babies head hanging out would stretch even more and tear ?? did you go with your instincts and push like mad or pause and wait till she/he told you to push again

In a water birth you might not even really have an obvious pushing or crowning bit. I was in the pool kneeling upright and breathing through the contractions and he just came out....

Your body tends to take over, as everyone says. It's really not a choice you have, it's just what happens when the baby says it's time!

The midwife will be looking down the business end, so if they see anything that in their experience means that you would benefit from trying to breathe instead of push, then try to go with that, because they will be trying to help you. It's just that it's really not that easy to not push when your body is doing it regardless! I remember with my first I was utterly helpless to not push.

I had an inexperienced midwife. She was like a cheerleader. I was starting to get the pushing urge and they were just all shouting at me to push until he arrived. I got told to pant at one point though.

They didn't check that I was fully dilated either. They checked me when I arrived (7cm) but just seemed to trust what my body was doing and I was pushing about 30-40 minutes later.

I've seen on OBEM really calm deliveries where they're all stop starting and what not.

I had a 3rd degree tear.

My body took over and I knew when to push, I don't know how, I cant explain it but I just did

The urge to push is kind of involuntary, a bit like the urge to vomit iykwim.

However, I think you are talking about the point where the head is crowning and the midwife tells you to just pant/breathe and let it come slowly?

Giving yourself a chance to stretch will mean less likelihood of tearing than just trying to push as hard/fast as you can.

The urge to push was very noticeable for me, i was having the normal contractions then all of a sudden i felt this jolt, like when your stomach flips on a rollercoaster. I wasnt expecting to notice a change so it scared me but the midwife immediately said, "ok there we go- ready to push, just wait for the next one and push". Pushing inbetween those "jolt" type contractions would have been pointless.

With my first two I didn't feel any pushing urges, I was told to push and did so with each contraction, then I was told to pant or breathe then the babies were out.
With my second two I had much faster more active labours and my body just pushed them out.
In fact with DC4 I was probably trying not too push because it was just DH and I, the ambulance was on it's way but my body was just doing it.
I have never had any stitches.

Just my experience but for both my babies I followed midwife's instructions..ie wait stop pushing and pant when they told me to. I had 8lb and 11lb babies with no tears/grazes etc. my biggest advice to anyone going into labour is to listen and do what your midwife recommends! They know what they're doing.

I need to stop watching OBEM an yes this is my first baby and yes i have prepared for every possible outcome and eventuallitiy

I don't know. I have no idea when I was 10cm. I could have been that way for days for all I knew. I pushed when I felt like it and the babies came out.

No one told me to push or wait or directed me.

I have never torn.

Oh gosh I'm glad I found this thread,

I am terrified of labour. My birthing plan literally reads;

"extremely anxious, patient requires "baby out whatever
way possible"

No set plan in place.

I am terrified of pushing a human being out of my vagina :( I actually really want to go past my due date, I want the longest possible time before I push this little chap out.

Reading some.of the stories on here has helped but some have terrified me more. Arghhh this is horrible :(

Ah Boudicca, it's not that bad. I had epidurals both times so the actual baby out of the vagina bit didn't hurt.

I'm needle phobic, so no epidural for me unless it's for an emergency c section. :(

Gas and air is all I can have willingly. The midwives at the hospital are lovely, I have visited the consultant midwife and she wants me to be come to their birthing suite with the birthing pool so they can try lots of different things to settle me. I don't think I could cope with a labour ward surrounded by Wyoming screaming in agony.

Sorry I've hijacked the thread a little. So sorry.

Ahhh Boudica, fwiw, I was anxious and preparing myself for 4 days in labour and a c-section. DS ended up being a very fast delivery and although painful, it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Just tell yourself that noone would do it again if they weren't worth it.

(I still can't believe that there's not a better way!)

True, I know deep down I shouldn't be worried, my body will know what to do and I need to trust it but...I'm terrified lol.

This will be my one and only child, regardless of the outcome and his possible genetic condition. I don't think I could face another pregnancy.

Dosnt help DP won't be with me, I'm on my own :(

Best to spend as much of your labour at home as possible. Both times I went straight into the delivery suite, own room, so no ward with other women.

I only pushed when I felt the urge and it was an absolutely overwhelming need when the time came. I didn't think it was as painful as the final few contractions had been and it felt quite cathartic.

DS2 took about 3 pushes and I was able to rest briefly in between the urges. I delivered quite quickly but just letting my body take over meant I naturally paused. I had one small tear which hasn't required stitching and 5 days in, I'm feeling quite mobile and non-stingy.

I've got pretty good feeling in my pelvic floor too where I couldn't feel anything with DS1 for weeks. Midwife has put this down to a swift relaxed delivery. my advice would be relax and give your a body a chance to do what it wants to do first.

Just another quick thought too....although I knew Dh was there he was very much surplus to requirements. I know some labouring women find great support having there DH's there but I was largely oblivious to his presence and didn't want him holding my hand, rubbing my back etc.... I was in a little world of my own and only really allowed the midwives in....they had the entonox after all!

That may be small comfort I appreciate!

There is a bit as baby's head starts coming out, where if you can it is good to pant before pushing (midwife will tell you) as it slows it down and can help to prevent a tear.

However. Tearing is not bad, and nothing to be scared of. I had a second degree tear with dd1 (breech delivery!) and didn't even notice. I doubt you would, especially as once the head is out, which is usually where one would tear, the baby follows very quickly, and newborn snuggles take your mind off any fanny pain very effectively!

I had 4 local anaesthetics before my stitches btw and it took the edge off.
And water births help with tearing as there is less pressure on the perineum.

And a good midwife doesn't need to do internal exams to know when a woman is fully dilated, there are other signs, and as pp have said, your body will know when to push.

It sounds like you might benefit from some breathing exercises. Ask your midwife or google. Also, if you are under NHS care, it is unlikely that you will deliver with this midwife, however it's important that you get on with your community midwife too ( I assume this is the one you are talking about) so ask to see someone else.

Birth is very much coping with contractions, breathing through them, walking about to get baby to descend, sleeping when you can, keeping energy up. You might well be in the pool at this point. Then in the final stage, (in pool or not), you are breathing between contractions, and using them to bear down and push (same feeling as pooing). Baby will crown, at which point you will be at risk of tearing, and you pant to ease the delivery. Next push or two, the head will slip out, then the shoulders and rest of baby very quickly. I guarantee if you tear, you will either not know, or will very quickly not care.

Pre labour, perineal massage can also help.

I assume this is your first?

And no not everyone has the urge to push. I didn't and wasn't under any drugs, not even gas and air. I followed the instruction from the midwife and it's like pushing a massive poo. Didn't get the baby out though.

I pushed because I had the urge to push. But you're pushing the baby down the birth canal, that's the hard bit. You don't wait until the babies head is there before you push.

When you're crowning, listen to the midwife. She will tell you to pant at the right moments, rather than push the head out. I didn't tear at all.

You may change your mind about a water birth, don't be too fixated about something. The water slowed my labour down and I had to get out.

I didn't really have the urge to push but I knew they wanted to come out if that makes sense!

Both births I did exactly as the midwife said wrt pushing and didn't tear at all with either. It was very controlled. I loved my midwives!

My sister had an immense urge to push and the midwife told her to pause but she didn't. She had a terrible tear.