Nervous after last birth experience!

[OscarandTimmy]

Ok so Im only around 8 weeks pregnant so I know I am getting ahead of myself, but I cannot help worrying.

Last time, I was induced as I was told my baby had stopped growing and was going to be very small. This turned out to be wrong as he came out at a healthy 7lb. So basically I was induced two days before due date for no reason.

I was in hospital for two days waiting for a bed on the delivery suite. I did not need the propess (sp?) as I was already 2-3cm when I got there. As they had not started the induction process I was annoyed that I could not go home and wait for a bed. But anyway that's just annoying, nothing major.

After not sleeping for two days on the maternity ward with new babies, I was woken up at midnight (after just dropping off) and told there was a bed. My partner took a while to get there so I was beginning to panic and was told to get a grip from the midwife. Nice! My waters were broken and I was immediately put on the drip (I thought that they would leave me a couple hours to see if contractions started seeing as I was already in early labour by myself).

The drip immediately caused painful contractions with no breaks in between. I was repeatedly told that I could not have pain relief as I was not contracting. How ridiculous.. basically accusing me of lying. Eventually it was discovered that the machine was broken so was not picking anything up. I was then examined and found to be 7cm dilated, and I had been begging for pain relief for a couple of hours by this point. All the while I was being constantly sick.

I was finally allowed some gas and air and a bit of pethidine. The two midwives leant against the counter watching and chatting, with no encouragement. Baby was born quickly after that. My whole induction process only lasted 5 hours.

After the birth, as a FTM I was unsure if all the blood after birth was normal, so I got my partner to grab a midwife. She just took one look, then grabbed my arms and frogmarched me to the shower. No explanation, or reassurance that my blood loss was normal.

I was then promptly discharged 6 hours later, baby had not latched and I ended up bottle feeding which I did not want to do.

I realise I may have had it good compared to some women's horrific births and for that I am truly grateful, I really am. But I still found the experience traumatic. I just can't help the way I feel. I feel that the support from the midwives was not what I expected, and when I watch programmes like OBEM, I feel upset that I did not have the support around me like that.

Now terrified to do it again.

Any advice? I realise I may sound like a spoiled brat after what some women go through, so I apologise in advance.

A different hospital?

It sounds like a bad experience so all you can do is vote with your feet and go elsewhere.

I would also suggest a different hospital if possible.

It sounds like you weren't treated very respectfully by the hospital and staff. Could you write a birth plan that states you will not agree to a drip until pain relief is in place. I did this, I refused the drip until I had an epidural.

Is there a friend or family member who could be with you to help speak up for you?

Did you get the chance to do skin to skin with your baby directly after birth? I found that helpful for breastfeeding, ds latched on in his own time and it all felt pretty natural, I could imagine if things were rushed it would be hard to get the baby to latch at a later time.

I hope your next birth is a more positive experience.

Before you look at getting pregnant again, ring the hospital and ask to speak to a Supervisor of Midwives (that's not supervisor as in a boss, they're extra qualified and work to support mothers) they can do a debrief and help you make a plan for the next birth. I would also look out a doula near you, they can also help debrief and talk about what you would do differently next time but from a different perspective.

Bit late for that confuddleddotcom! Thankyou all for your kind words and advice, and I will definitely take on board some of your suggestions. Great to hear advice from people who are not directly involved, as it gives me a more impartial view of things. Thankyou.

Oh yes, sorry but no, not too late. You can still talk to an SoM and debrief, make plans for this time and doulas are brilliant too.