Embarrassing: What is ettiquette re grooming of lady garden?

[sunnyside]

I know I sound bonkers but when it comes to giving birth what sort of state should my lady garden be in?! Don't want to look like I don't pay it any attention like some hairy earth mama but equally don't want to give it full strim and look like I'm prepubescent!!!!

I've asked my friends but basically we all end up screaming laughing and not really getting a straight answer!

currantbun - I'm sure that you're normal! Think it all gets a bit swollen down there during labour anyway cos of all the pressure so no-one will know any different!

Hi everyone, first time on this site but had a major laugh at some of the post.
I have a little story to add - with my first baby I was aware that I wanted things in my "lady garden" to be neat and tidy. I thought I would wait until I came into labour and then ask thubby to sort it out. This I did but didn't realise I would go BANG into transitional labour with only a couple of mins between full on contractions! Still I was determined to tend to the garden!. I laid down and said to dh come on luv do your best and make it snappy. I ment a trim around the bikini area - you know to tidy it up a bit. My hubby bless him got his mo clippers and proceeded to shave me right down the middle from top to bottom. He thought I wanted it all off. I then got a major contraction and couldn't take any more so we rushed to the hospital and I gave birth two hours later. I must have looked a right sight with my funky fro - inverted moheek! This time I am going to do it myself with a mirror before I start labour!
All the best

Bump!

This is a hilarious thread, glad I'm not alone in worrying what the midwives may or may not think!

Trimmed mine last night but couldn't see all so I told DH that he'll have to do it next time it needs doing, he said it was fine by him, hope he only cut's hair! where I can, I like to keep it trimmed!

I'm really paranoid now! I just trim every now and then - am I really going to have to get my first ever wax at 34 weeks pregnant?!

I've heard the lights are really dim in maternity suites - so long as I'm not looking like Chewbacca, maybe I can get away with it....

Who cares? You'll be a bit busy, y'know. Now I will confess I shaped my eyebrows the day I went into hospital, just reckoned the baby might be impressed. Big confession: I have NEVER been dumped or insulted by any man over the lady garden, but I did once get a 'horrified' reaction - from a team of FEMALE lady bits doctors. Which leads me to suspect that a lot of ladies only trim themselves to impress the medics. Which is a bit strange, come to think of it...

I usually have a brazilian but let it go during pregnancy each of the 3 times. Tbh I didn't care what anyone else thought, really wasn't bothered. First time had midwife and student; 2nd time, midwife, student and doctor; 3rd time had midwife, student, registrar, consultant and 2 other midwives lol. All were natural births in the end with no tears, cuts or assistance but things got close. Noone betted an eyelid and I never noticed anyone noticing. I'd worry more about pooing than about what my pubes looked like lol, didn't care about that either though as what happens happens, not much you can do about it.

I told dh about this pmsl thread about lady gardens, he said "lady jungle more like".

Time for some Veet!

Me personally I don't like it over grown and neither does DH, I trim mine because I like it that way "trimmed" and only where it should be, couldn't give a dam about the medic's, after all I wont be seeing them again, but I would like them to see what they are doing LOL!

Oh Asur! After reading the thread through my fingers and cringing at your pain, I peed my pants laughing.

So sorry to laugh at your misfortune!

Sunnyside, I do recommend that you take some time to scrub, moisturise, fake tan, paint your nails and defuzz. Not so much for the labour, just so you feel less like a sack of shit afterwards. Good luck with the birth xx

Bump for Noonar

i dont even know why i am here..as living for the mo in ttc! but i was bored and i am so glad because i dont think i have laughed like that in a long time asur what a story!!

thanks for cheering up my evening at work!

x

I'm going to warn MNers about having a bikini wax while pregnant.

It will hurt more than normal. It was only sheer vanity that drove me to the beauticians because I was going swimming that day and didn't want to frighten off the other swimmers

I haven't read the whole thread, but am now feeling very chuffed with myself that 18 months ago I had the whole lot lasered off. And before you ask...yes, it hurts a lot! Got fed up with being stubbly and now it's a once every 6 weeks tidy up of not much.

If you use Brazilian hot wax it is virtually pain free! I was amazed the first time I had it done (a couple of months ago although I didn't know I was pregnant)

For those of you in London I can reccommend a brilliant place on Great Portland Street, the therapist is awesome and can do a Hollywood in about 15 minutes. Tres impressive!

midwife friend of mine says she does object to peeling open lady gardens!

Hi ClaphamLauren Please tell us the name of this wonder waxer on Great Portland Street.

It's a place called Destination www.destinationw1.com/beauty_retreat/waxing.html

I'm sure there are other places that do it but I can't recommend this place enough! It's quite annoying though because until I went there I used to get my waxing done free at one of the salons my Mum owns and now I won't anywhere but destination.

p.s - she is really thorough and the Hollywood and Brazilian includes a bum wax (as it should) but a friend of mine was very surprised when she was asked to spread 'em so do be prepared ladies!

Thanks - I shall try them next time.

I know I'm late to this thread - but Asur - THANKS! I have tears rolling down my face and the cats don't quite know what to make of my hysterical laughter!

Calpham Lauren - I work by GPS so may give them a go... how much £££?!

I'm due on Saturday (eek) and had a leg and bikini line wax yesterday, just because I hate having hairy legs. I did once have a Brazilian, and the actual process itself was fine but the week after was agony. I was thinking of just trimming what I can...

Can I just say thanks so much for this thread. I haven't laughed so much in ages. Isn't it funny the things we fret about?

I would also like to say thanks for this thread. I've had a shitty day but feel much better now after a good laugh

Asur,

I dont think I have ever laughed so much as I did reading that story, I couldnt read it for tears rolling down cheeks it was just hilarious and I would advise any new mum or mum2b who is fed up to have a read, it is guaranteed to have you laughing your sox off.

They told me when I had ds1 by emergency c- section. They must have already thought I'd left it.
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