How did it go, the second time around?

[ASmidgeofMidge]

Am nearly 35w pg with second dc, and am just starting to feel a wee bit of fear about labour. I obvs have a bit more of an idea what to expect this time, which does help. But first dc, in terms of childbirth, involved a looooooong latent phase. She was back to back, and I had an epidural, 'low' forceps, and an episiotomy. Can't help wondering -worrying about what this labour might have in store. It would be good to hear from people who've been there more than once!

TIA

My first labour was similar to yours, loooong, baby back to back, ended up with an epidural, being prepared for theatre and a forceps delivery. Third degree tear. Not fun.
Second labour, as you say, I felt slightly more prepared for but anxious as the first was such an ordeal. Plus my babies were only 17 months apart so I felt like my body hadn't really recovered! However it was a completely different experience. Baby was back to back AGAIN so still long, but I was much more active in labour and only got on the bed when was pretty much ready to push. Used gas and air like it was going out of fashion. 'natural' delivery, just two midwives and my husband, dimmed lights, very relaxed after the madness of first time round.
Every labour is different and my experiences definitely couldn't have been more different. Good luck!! And enjoy your newborn when he/she arrives...

I've got three DC and each labour was totally different. The benefit second time round is knowing that the pain is 'normal' and not necessarily a sign that you are about to die :)

Sounds like I had similar first birth experience to you (if yours was hell on earth), second time round I had a waterbirth which was pretty fab, and the third time round I was induced so it was all very medical and I hardly felt a thing.

I was scared sh*tless about the second birth and went on some hypnobirthing courses and had acupuncture - both of which actually really helped me although I was sceptical to begin with. Maybe you could look into one or both of these to see if it could help you too?

As PirateShit says, each labour is different, but second time round you will be much more relaxed as you know more or less what to expect. I also think it helps that you know from experience that the pain and horror will ultimately be worth it when you have that gorgeous little newborn in your arms....

first one - two hours of pushing, lost loads of blood. labour was about 10 hours.

second one was different - waters went (slowly) at first, i had quite a long latent phase where the contractions were quite effective but not painful at all. i carried on about my day as normal, then it all ramped up quite quickly but I felt able to cope with it all. in fact i coped so well, i didnt get to the hospital until 45 mins before DD was born! I felt much more in control and comfortable especially telling the MWs what I wanted and not listening to them if i thought they were talking nonsense (e.g. get up off the sofa when I was comfy!)

Wow, thank you for such quick responses! It sounds as if second labours are easier even if only in the sense of having more knowledge / experience / confidence. I am hoping the same happens for me ...

All three births were very different. I finally managed to use G&A successfully in my third labour after just finding it made me sick the first two times.

Length wise, labour did get shorter although not necessarily easier but I definitely found it less stressful second and third time round even though they had their own problems. Perhaps it's easier to get through it when you have a more concrete idea of what's coming after

I hope you have a better experience this time. I'm still too terrified to have another..

My first was back to back, 7 hours, gas and air, born in the pool, no damage.
Second was 3 hours, not so much gas and air, born in the pool, no damage.
Honestly, they seemed exactly the same. Both hurt like hell

DD1 back to back, waters broke too early, nearly had a section - horrible

DD2 - no pain relief as too quick, couple of pushes and out she shot. No problems at all!

First was twelve hours About two hours of pushing.Failed epidural.Second took about an hour from start to finish.Just gas and air.Much much easier and recovery much quicker.After the first I felt like I'd been hit by a train!

TheCrumpetQueen - it's taken me 5 years to pluck up the courage!

I was induced (on the drip) first time round as I had severe pre-eclampsia (and was 39 weeks so baby was pretty well cooked) and it was short, but very intense, painful, mentally I didn't cope well at all (had diamorphine and was asking for epidural when told I could start pushing - had hoped for drug free waterbirth and couldn't adjust to the reality of my birth really) and I've felt a bit crap at how I handled it and at how I allowed the staff to treat me really (didn't feel I stood up to them enough).

Second time was also an induction (on the drip) but voluntary as I had a few concerns and so was induced at 40 plus 3 days.

It was a completely different experience, had no pain relief (didn't need it) and it felt like a positive wonderful life experience - I really felt pushing my son out this time and it was amazing. It was (sounds weird I know) but a great day out, we had such giggles and laughter throughout, my midwife was fab, in suite at 8am and gave birth a few minutes before 8pm at night.

The pushing stage is way easier (well I found it) second time round, none of that 'two steps forward, three steps back' feeling I had first time round and I felt so much more empowered having been through it before (and more willing to tell them what I want and what I don't want - more confidence really). I loved the birth of DS2 and often replay it in my mind - good luck with your birth - wishing you all the best :-)

Thank you Eletheomel and for sharing your story.

My first labour was horrendous. And had awful post birth complications.

2nd labour was amazing. Went into hospital at 3:30am and by 7:20 I was holding my baby, just gas and air. I was

First was long, back to back, constant wall of pain, long second stage, second degree tear with complex embroidery.

Second was 14 hours from first hint of a contraction, proper rests between contractions, out in 3 pushes, 3 stitches.

First: Induced. 1 hr 30 mins of pain. Very bad pain. Epidural, panic as DD was losing heartbeat, sucked out with ventouse, episiotomy. Took a while to recover.

Second: Induced again. Only 45 mins of any type of labour pain. Very fast progression, no time for epidural even though I'd 'ordered' one. Gas and air was amazing. DD2 again losing heart rate (turned out cord round her neck), told to push really hard, I did (while still glugging the gas and air), born naturally with no tears, no episiotomy, no stitches. Very quick recovery.

Thank you all, it's really helping to hear that people's experiences subsequent times have been different. I think after my first was born, I had this idea I'd 'failed' somehow because the birth wasn't straightforward - even though intellectually I know this makes no sense. But it's added to the nerves a bit. I can also relate to the feelings of powerlessness and panic from last time, and it sounds like there may be less of those feelings too.

I'll probably be ready after 5 years too when the memories have faded

Ds came after 24 hours labour which started very strongly from the start and continued throughout. Contractions every 2 mins, back to back. Pushed for 2.5 hours as he had his hand up which then caused me to tear very badly :(

Would have another now if it wasn't for the horrificness

Both of mine were back to back -

The first: 61 hour latent phase and 23 hours in active labour. Only I wasn't at all active, I was hooked up to all kinds of doohickies and stuck on the deceptively comfortable bed. Two hormone drips, four shots of pethidine, an epidural, and a 3rd degree tear later, we had a baby

The second: 37 hours start to finish, just gas and air, and a 2nd degree tear. It felt so much better! I really felt myself giving birth this time. I was so much more relaxed and in tune with what was going on (plus I wasn't suffering from exhaustion!), the midwife was wonderful, and I felt so much more in control of what was going on. Apparently, though I don't remember, I was singing Johnny Cash's 'Ring of Fire' under my breath and around the gas & air tube as I was pushing him out

First: over 50 hours of intense continuous contractions, epidural, ventouse and episiotomy. Discovered about 30 hours in that the baby was back to back. Episiotomy wound became infected and needed repair in surgery a few days later.

Second: 7.5 hours from first contraction to delivery, arrived at hospital 9.5cm dilated and baby was born in the pool 30 mins later. Baby was also back to back which meant it took 30 mins of pushing to get her out rather than the couple of pushes the midwife expected! 2nd degree tear which healed well.

Second was SO much better than first - although very intense, I felt more in control and my body just took over. I was on a total adrenalin high for at least 24 hours afterwards and the experience was so positive I almost want another (and DD is only 6 weeks old!)

1st - 36 hrs from start to finish, enjoyed labour but was ill (didn't find out til later) so exhausted and ended up with epidural, which I was happy with. Pushing 2 hrs, tiny tear, forceps. Oh and mahoosive hemmorhoids..

2nd - on bedrest from 5.5months to avoid labour starting, when it did (on due date) baby was out in 1.5hrs, two pushes, one for head and one for body. Cord twice around baby's neck but she was fine. Lots of blood loss for me, but I was fine too. No haemorrhoids (YAY!).

After both times I was ready to do it again the next day.

My first labour was booked as a home birth but there was meconium in my waters so went into hospital. So exhausted from back to back contractions I laid down on the bed and didn't get up again. After pushing for 2 and a half hours they said ds was stuck and they gave me a spinal and eventually got him out with forceps. I'd torn and had to be cut I was sore shell shocked and had no idea what I was doing.
Dd is 11days old and part from being exhausted I don't feel too bad. Labour started with contractions which did nothing all day until 10pm when they started getting more intense. At 2pm I knew we had to get a move on to the birth centre. Got there at 3.15am and got in the pool at quarter to 4 and after 15 min pushing she was born at 4.02am. Those 15 min were incredibly painful but the whole labour was so much better compared to ds. No pain relief apart from the water and I only had a small tear which didn't need stitches. I didn't have that hit by a truck feeling after having her and am coping much better. So yeh I'd say second labours are easier.

Gah not 2pm 2am!

Ist time

7 weeks in hospital pre eclampsia
3 days inducing
24 hour labour
failed ventuese
forceps in theatre in case of failure and need for ECS. 18 stitches because of the forceps.

2nd time exactly two years later

Went in to labour spontaneously at 37.2 weeks. Went to hospital at 8pm and dd was born 10.42pm No pain relief at all and felt wonderful afterwards.

It's amazing how different they can be! The other thing that's occurred to me, reading others' stories, is that I am totally assuming this one will be term or late, based on dd where I was 40 +8 when (looooong) labour started. She was born the day before my booked induction. This may be a bad assumption to make!

One thing which is following the pattern of the last time around for me is that I'm studiously avoiding all OBEM type programmes in a head-in-the-sand type way. After dc#2 is here, and if the post-labour phase after dd is anything to go by, I shall be watching them to death, like a kind of tv debrief!