How did it go, the second time around?

[ASmidgeofMidge]

Am nearly 35w pg with second dc, and am just starting to feel a wee bit of fear about labour. I obvs have a bit more of an idea what to expect this time, which does help. But first dc, in terms of childbirth, involved a looooooong latent phase. She was back to back, and I had an epidural, 'low' forceps, and an episiotomy. Can't help wondering -worrying about what this labour might have in store. It would be good to hear from people who've been there more than once!

TIA

Ds1 took 32 hours to arrive - back to back and horribly painful contractions. Gas and air didn't go near the pain so asked for epidural in the end which was great but ended in episiotomy and ventouse and painful recovery. I was NOT looking forward to birth of DS2 especially when I found out he was also back to back.

BUT...... Felt first contraction at 2.15 in the morning. Was manageable in between. Stayed at home for as long as I could (including putting make up on ready for newborn photos - what WAS I thinking?! And bloody DH forgot the camera so we didn't take any anyway!)

Got to hospital at 5.30 am and was only seen by a midwife about 3 times (gas and air for about 45 mins of that - amazing stuff that time, it worked so so well) before I got the urge to push and managed to get the midwife to come back in and deliver him at 7.30am after only about 4 involuntary pushes. A bit of a tear and a few stitches which were no longer painful after only a couple of days. The whole thing - pain level, length of labour, pushing, stitches, recovery etc was VERY different to DS1 - I felt invincible and amazing afterwards! I was back home with him by tea time. A fab experience!

I HAD prepared better though - hypnobirthing CD, exercises on a birthing ball, raspberry leaf tea etc so maybe that all helped.

10:53pm waters broke in bed
Immediate 5min contractions
11:25pm got to hospital
11:53pm baby born unknown back to back
Up and showered within an hour
No pain relief

1st. 10 and 1/2 hours. Pushed for ages. Back to back.
2nd. 59 minutes!

I would totally choose my 1st labour over second any time.
My first was long about 2 days but ended up with a nice water birth a the end. DD came out so gracefully and fine.
Second time around recorded labour was about 1.5 hours. It was so fast and violent, a very large DS was born with his arm next to the face, got stuck and when fully came out he pooped all over. My recovery has been very hard after that with separated muscles and some vagina problems still remaining almost 4 months on. Love my DS to pieces so really would not give it back but wish he was a bit more gentle on the way out.
First was 7 days over and second just 2.

First birth - hideous, carnage...almost died

Second birth - perfect! Laboured calmly at home during afternoon and evening....got to hospital at 9pm....immediate epidural....dd born without fuss or pain at 1am

Good luck

Second time was a walk in the park compared to the first time.

First labour au natural fucking terrible, 3 days contractions and tore from cervix up front on outside.
Second labour was induced, bloody brilliant, 4/5 hrs start to finish more in control and no tearing.

Sorry for swearing !!!! Was so much of a relief 2nd time round I was overcome

I was 12 days over with ds 1 when labour kicked off. 14 days by the time he was born. Sounds very much like your 1st childbirth experience. Long, back to back, epidural, forceps. I really struggled afterwards and felt very guilty and traumatised.

I gave birth to ds2 on Sunday and can honestly, hand on heart, say I enjoyed it and feel a deep sense of happiness every time I think about the whole experience. It was much easier and shorter but moreover I was better prepared. I had a wonderful doula who helped us through the whole process. We found her on the doula uk website. I don't know if you considered it an option. She helped talk through our fears and hopes in preparation for the birth as well as bing a supportive voice and help during the birth. She is also a masseuse which was incredible during labour.

One thing she did was help me address any fears and minimise them. So when I started to go overdue I was worried about induction. My doctor had been pushing an induction conversation at 38 weeks! ds2 was 9 days she helped me prep for my midwife appointments to delay conversations about induction until necessary. Having done this I shared with my midwife that talking about induction would make me anxious and could I delay it just till my next sweep. The midwife was really receptive and I went into labour before the next sweep.

My point (sorry I am taking ages to get there) is that with this help I was able to put things in perspective and be my own advocate. Last time I felt like I was jut going through hospital protocol and had no one to really explain my options.

In the end labour was much shorter. By the time I got to hospital, having laboured at home, I was 10cm. With my lovely dh and doula I felt good at home. I rested, ate, walked between contractions. Had a change of scene eg, bath, birth ball, birthing affirmations download to help my mindset. Labour was still full of surprises. The hosprial was really busy on my arrival and I ended up giving birth in the assessment room. I was so happy to be fully dilated and excited to meet our baby that I didn't really care that any water birth or privacy come to that had gone out the window!

I think trying to focus on the things you can do to help yourself and accept those things you can't is the big thing I have learnt and would say to focus on. It will be a different birth and labour so focus on the excitement of that. Pm me if you want any advice on finding a doula. Good luck.