Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

what to do with step child staying weekend I'm due to give birth

56 replies

Muppet2012 · 15/11/2013 19:43

I'm due the weekend of the 8th December and we have my husband's daughter for that weekend.
He seems to think that when I start having contractions it'll be ages and if his daughter is round we will just sort something out. eg. Nanny will at somepoint come over for her.
I on the other hand I don't want her anywhere near me right from the start. Selfish I know but I want it to be all about me not having to worry about acting as if nothing is going on in the early stages so as not to worry his daughter.
What do I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Pearlsaplenty · 15/11/2013 21:15

Is there anyway nanny can come and stay for the weekend to put your mind at rest?

caramelwaffle · 15/11/2013 22:58

That's sounds like a good idea &pearls*

Good luck, and have a peaceful labour.

caramelwaffle · 15/11/2013 22:59

pearls

pandabear86 · 16/11/2013 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thiscoukdbeme · 16/11/2013 00:47

I thought it was the norm for arrangements for any other children in the house to be made when someone goes into labour?!
I really get where you're coming from OP and the difficulty, from a step mothers's pov is that you often have very little control over these arrangements. For example, if I were to have another biological (for want of a better word) child, I would make sure I had a plan for care of DS, probably my mum on hold, I wouldn't leave it up to DH to make a loose plan. Plus I'd have the knowledge that labour really does take hours and hours to get going properly! And I wouldn't be quite so worried about whether DH was with me.
Could you talk to 'nanny' yourself and make sure she's on hold that weekend, just in case?

BraveLilBear · 20/11/2013 07:39

OP I'm not sure why you're getting so much stick here. People seem to forget how stressful it is when you're faced with being in labour for the first time.

There are two things here that make this different to 'having DC1 around'. One, you, by definition, have never given birth before, and it's totally reasonable to be scared or stressed.

Two, when it's not a child you live with all the time, it can be difficult to predict how they will react to a given situation.

I have a DSS (11) and I wouldn't have been too keen to have had him round whilst I was in early labour as he can be hard work. As it happened, his parents have a very flexible approach to access so it wasn't an issue - and his mum would have understood if we'd had to change plans.

However, if he had been here, we would have managed fine until one of his grandparents came round to look after him or take him home (he lives 35 miles away).

In fact, having your DSD round might help you stay calm (in that artificial hidey feelings way that all mums/stepmums do) and give you something to focus on.

It seems like you have a good plan in place so it will be fine.

I do understand your concerns though. Especially as you're hormonal and worried about giving birth.

As a side note - someone mentioned upthread about being able to introduce your baby to ger sister... This is a nice moment (tho nervewracking) but at the hospital I was at, this wasn't allowed. Only the mother's own children are allowed on the postnatal wadd due to infection control.

Good luck

New posts on this thread. Refresh page