First night at home with DD - so hard!!!!!

[Tulip2013]

Had my DD in early hours of Saturday (long labour as was induced Weds morning and they used ventouse and forceps in the end) and brought her home today.really lovely to be home but blimey it's hard. She hasn't slept a wink until now and just wants to be on the breast all the time. She wasn't perfect in hospital but at least slept for 2-3 hours a night. It looks like we will be lucky to get 5 mins tonight.

Hopefully I'm not alone. Were others awake all night in the first few days?

Yes. But it does get better, and pretty quickly.

Congratulations on the arrival of DD and make the most of newborn hugs - they change too fast!

Congratulations! And yes, but as Janey says it does get better quickly.

Thanks ladies. That's really good to know! I feel much less alone now (though don't worry DH is being fab and feeling as lost in all this as me!).

She has fallen asleep on me now so I'm making the most of a quiet cuddle and have emailed a NCT BF counsellor who I can hopefully speak to tomorrow.

Congratulations

It can be so hard in the early days (and especially nights!) You are not alone. Just do whatever you can to get through it for now - it will get better!

Xxx

Gosh yes, I remember me and my mum sitting up on the sofa with DD for the first few nights, we were as grey as the dawn. And night 3, I think, my nipples red raw and DD wanting to suckle constantly or she screamed - DM took her out for a walk in the freezing November cold at about 11pm, to give me a break.

Ah memories. Congrats on your DD, and don't worry, it settled down after a couple of days - as soon as my milk came in really.

Yes it gets better very quickly. My daughter was difficult the first 2-3 nights after she was born until my milk came in properly. My DS had one night where he didn't sleep at all, again before my milk came in. I found both settled down very quickly one breastfeeding was established. Both moved to waking very 4-5 hours at night within the first week. My DS slept through at around 8 weeks. My DD, was very very unusual and slept through from about 3 weeks. Nothing I did, apart from establishing a dream feed at around 10pm every night that my husband did. I didn't do this with my son.

It will soon be over and be much much more bearable.

Is this your first?

Thank you. Yep my first! And after being in hospital for 6 days feel like a zombie as well as feeling like I've no idea what I'm doing. The midwives were great in the beginning but in the end they were given me too much contradicting advice about how to BF and wanting to watch every time I fed her - felt like I was getting judged in Strictly!

But having said that she is gorgeous and perfect so it is totally worth it. :-)

It does get better - so much better that some of us even have another one!

Remember to keep eating and drinking, you need to look after yourself too and sleep deprivation is horrific enough without getting dehydrated and hungry yourself.

Stay in your PJs for as long as you need to, don't worry about getting anything done.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!
From another mum that has been woken and food demanded!
It does get easier- the first few days are hard, then you get some easy ones, then it's tough again and the cycle repeats! Good luck and I hope you manage to get some sleep - nap as much as you can when the baby does, it's the only way to get through it until things settle down,

It was just 4 months ago for me. Like you i had a long labour with aback to back baby. Having a newborn at home when you havent slept in 5 days is madness. Take it in turns to sleep during the daytime. The first week is bewildering but then you start to get the hang of it.

My DH was great and when I was at breaking point a couple of times he took bubs off for a long walk in the pram just to let me sleep for an hour or so.

Enjoy- it passes so quickly.

It passes fast. But for now, if you've feed for hours and can take no more it will be fine if someone else takes her for and hour or so to let you sleep a little. Right our of the house so you can'tbe disturbed by any crying is best. And tea and chocolate are essentials in this stage (although not hot tea whilst holding dd).

You ate supposed tofeed her and sleep when she doesn't need feeding for now. Someone else should hold her between feeds so you can nap.

Ds slept though (10 hours) some nights from 8 Weeks, and just before that was only waking up once a night , it may be much easier very soon.

This is NOT the received wisdom but I will say it anyway. Some babies benefit from a dummy - needs to be one if the cherry tipped ones to stay in and gives your nips a rest. Both if mine had one and no nipple confusion. Maybe worth buying one, sterilising it and keeping it in a drawer just in case?

Congratulations. Newborns are incredibly hard work but utterly scrummy

I feel your pain op ! It's very hard going from no baby to first one and the lack of sleep is hard, very hard.

Things that helped us!

Make use of dh baby just wants be be held to hand it over when you can. I second the dummy idea. I was dead against dummy's then I had ds and within a week he had one! No nipple confusion.

Skin to skin especially if baby is distressed, sleep with baby in your bed next to you, feed, feed, feed. Eventually they fill up, I promise!

There are no such thing as bad habits for baby's of this age! Do whatever you can to get sleep. If possible get food made by family and friends. Visitors must bring food and do a job in the house Sod the housework and sleep!

It gets a lot better I promise you. Dd slept through from 8 weeks.

Take each day as it comes. Some will be harder than other, some will be lovely (and you'll worry something is wrong).

Look at kellymom website for growth spurts and look at wonder weeks for fussy times. I found it helpful to get through those tough times to know it was just a phase.

Everything is just a phase, everything passes! Congratulations op now rest, snooze and sleep at every opportunity!

I will never forget the first night at home with DC1. Neither of us had a clue what we were doing, I was looking at her, she was looking at me and I wondered what the hell id done!
It's a steep learning curve but in a few days u will be fine.

Congrats xx

Congratulations it will all get a bit easier soon once dd settles.
Like others have said rest when you can. Take any help offered by visitors I was running around after others - wish I hadn't in hindsight they can make their own tea and coffee!!
You will be glued to the sofa or bed just for a little but while the feeding settles down get some DVDs/ pick box sets ready to watch :)
Really important wish someone had told me- eat and drink enough- I used to get to 3pm onwards and realise I'd not had a cuppa or eaten anything- once I did it was so much better for my supply.
Good luck with everything OP :)

congratulations! my gorgeous ds us 4 days old! we too have had some very unsettled nights I have just managed 2 hours sleep and feel wonderful!
This is ds2 so you would think I would be prepared but its all such a haze I cannot remember the first few nights with ds1.

The first night in hospital for me was the worst. I literally did nit get a wink of sleep until about 6am!

You are not alone and it does get easier I promise!

The first day/night we brought DD home was a nightmare! I was on the phone to the MW at midnight not knowing what to do!

I think she picked up on our worry and anxiety. It got better very quickly. By day 3 we kind if knew what the hell we were doing so she settled a bit.

Is she colicky? Bit if infacol might help

Sorry! I didn't say congratulations! blame DD who thought that 5.50 was a good waking time Enjoy your lovely newborn snuggles (once she settles down)

Sounds like you're doing well so far. Day 3 seems to often be near continuous feeding while they get your milk to come in, totally normal. It gets easier! It then causes all sorts of hormone shifts so be prepared to feel very emotional quite soon.

DD is now 14 weeks and I really recommend using the breast and bottle feeding board, there are lots of very experienced people there, and there's someone up at all times of night

I found week 2/3 very hard and then it got better. DD was a very fussy feeder and it took a while to work out I had a very strong let down so she was struggling not to drown in milk. I really found the hormones hard to deal with as well.

As a pp said it come in phases so you get a good night or two just when you think it's too hard then they'll change the rules on you again. It's very hard but very fulfilling.

DD is 12 weeks now and will sleep from 12-8 with 2 feeds through the night unless she's in a growth spurt. Be gentle with yourself, get help on the Bf'ing front - it gets A LOT easier after week 3, don't worry about housework, take all the help you can, take those daytime naps when you can and enjoy the snuggles - they change terrifyingly quickly!!

Finally, Kellymom is a superb resource!!!

Congrats and enjoy

Yes, I've been there. The first three nights with DD1 were he'll, she didn't sleep at all between midnight and 5am, and precious little the rest of the time. DH and I were in despair and so utterly, utterly shattered after a long labour.

However... That was 5 years ago and a distant dream- just another story to tell. It will get easier, I promise! We found that DD1 responded well to having a low level of background noise- we put the radio on really quietly for a few nights. Might be worth a try?

Congratulations

Oh god yes the first few days at home I wondered if I would ever sleep again. Now I have an 8 week old who can sleep for 6-7 hours & then go back down for another 3.

It will get easier I promise

Congratulations.

Have you considered co sleeping? It saved me. You have to do it safely so hard bed, baby on the outside, no one in bed can be a smoker or drink/drugs or medication that effects sleep.

Congratulations!! It does get better
In the meantime, let DH take as much of the strain as you can, and just concentrate on cuddling and resting when you can.

And download the White Noise app ...it is an absolute lifesaver.